Author's Chapter Notes:
I know it may seem a bit short, but bare with me. I kinda had a brain fart. There is one part in the story that maybe confusing. Buffy is thinking to herself and there's a voice inside her head(you all have one, so don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about)that her thoughts are talking to. I tried to show the difference between. Her thoughts have a mark that looks like this `before and after. And the voice in her head has this / before and after.
“Wait so what are you saying? That Buffy’s having an affair with Spike?” Angel asked. “Well, exactly. We just think there might be.” Giles said. “How is that any better?” Angel asked. “But-but we have stronger, uh, feelings that she’s not.” Willow said. Cordelia then gave an unlady like snort.

They looked at her. “I’ve been doing a little bit of digging,” She got up and reached into her purse and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “And to me there’s a large chance that Buffy’s returned to her roots.” She said, handing the paper to Angel. Angel took it and frowned.

He unfolded it and turned it right side up to look at it. The others moved around behind him and looked over his shoulders. “Who’s that?” Xander asked.

“That is Pike.”

They all looked up at her. “You’re kidding.” Oz said. She shook her head. “Nope.”

“He looks…well like a gothic punk.” Xander said, frowning. “And what does Spike look like?” She asked. Willow looked up at her.

“Like a gothic punk.”

“I rest my case.” She said, proud of herself.

Willow looked at Giles then at Angel. Angel’s jaw clenched. “No. Buf-no. This isn’t right. There’s probably a good explanation for all of this.” Angel said. “Or a really good lie, but hey your pick.” Cordelia said.

There was a growl from deep within Angel.

They looked at him and Xander and Willow took a step back. “Angel, keep calm.” Giles said.

“I am calm.” Angel said in an eerily calm voice.

“You could be right. There’s probably an explanation for all of this.” Giles said.
************************************************************************
“Are you goin’ to explain this sudden cravin’ of yours or not?” Spike asked.


They had just left the ice cream shop and were walking down the sidewalk. Buffy’s arm was still wrapped around his while she ate her vanilla ice cream cone. “What? A girl can’t have a sudden craving for sweets?” she asked. Spike gave her a look. “Okay! You’re being mean tonight.” She said.

“’M always mean.”

“That’s not true. You bought me ice cream.” Buffy said. “’Cause I trashed your last one.” Spike said.

“Well then you should pay Angel back.”

Spike growled. She rolled her eyes. “He is my boyfriend you know.” She said. “Really?” Spike asked, smirking as he saw her eyes darted toward him. She just shrugged. Spike grinned. “So what’s up with you two?” Spike asked. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“You know what I mean.”

“No I don’t. And hey!” she hit him on the arm, with no force at all. “Don’t get snippy with me. It was a genuine question.” She said. Spike snorted.

“No it was a blonde-headed question for wastin’ time when thinkin’ up an answer.”

Buffy sighed. They continued to walk for a bit. “I don’t know. It’s just…. When I first met Angel he was hot. He had that dark and mysterious thing going on.” Spike snorted. “Not that song and dance. You chits are weird, you know that?” Spike said. Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Anyways, here’s Angel. Dark and mysterious. Pops up now and then to give some teeny hint about new troubles and poofs! Gone.”

“Bloody annoyin’ that is.” Spike said. “Oh, shut up. You do it too.” Buffy said.

“Do not.” Spike said.

“Do to.”

“Do not.”

“Do to.”

“Do not.”

“Do to.”

“Do not.”

“Do to.”

“Do not.”

“Do to.”

“Do not.”

“Argh, fine!” Spike laughed.

“I hate it when you do that!” Buffy said. Spike laughed again.

“Can I please finish my story?” she asked. “Long’s you give me a lick of that cone.” Spike said. Buffy handed him her cone. He took it and started to give it long licks. “Well it was annoying. But he was cute. So I was like…you know what the hell. So I started to leave these little hints that I liked him.” Buffy said.

“Those are blood evil.” Spike said.

Buffy scoffed. “What?” she asked.

“Those hints you chits leave about. Call us demons evil. No better way to get a man to cut off his own dick and balls just to get the chit to tell it to him straight.”

Buffy pushed him lightly. “That’s not true! And ew! Thanks for the imagery.” Spike grinned. “So what happened?” Spike asked. Buffy sighed. “I found out what he was like a little.” “Meanin’?” Spike asked. “Well you know him. He doesn’t open up. He has the same freakin’ expression on his face 24/7! And it’s just…argh!” Buffy motioned with her hands of choking someone. Spike chuckled.

“Yeah, with you on that one, kitten.” Spike said. “But I look past it. You know. ‘Cause I love him.” Spike somewhat faltered in his steps, but easily passed if off as tripping over a stone. “Ah.” He said quietly.

“But….” Spike raised an eyebrow.

Did she just ‘but’? He asked himself. Good or bad, I don’ bloody care. Spike thought.

“But what?” Spike asked. Buffy’s cheeks blushed a little and Spike grinned. “Well it’s been a few months since we started to date. I know he loves me back. I see it in his eyes sometimes and how he looks at me, but…. Something doesn’t feel right.” Buffy said. “How?” Spike asked. “Well….” Buffy stopped. “You know never mind. I’m probably just going crazy.” Spike wanted to yell at her to finish and stop leaving him on the cliff, but held his tongue.

“And hey! You ate all of my ice cream!” Spike looked at the cone and smirked. “Sorry, luv. But I saved the best part for last.” “What the empty cone?” she asked, bitterly. Spike grinned. “The drink you silly bint.”

“Drink? Spike we had ice cream.”

Spike rolled his eyes. He lowered the cone for her to look. “Oooh.” She said.

“Yeah.”

He handed it to her. Buffy held the bottom up over her head and opened her mouth, but Spike stopped her. “What are you doin’?” he asked. “Getting ready to eat the rest of the ice cream.” Buffy said. “Not like that.”

Spike lowered her hand. They had stopped walking by now and were now standing facing each other. “Okay then, how?” Buffy asked. “You chug it back.” Buffy raised an eyebrow. “Chug it back?” she asked. “Yeah, like a drink.” Spike said.

“I don’t drink.” Buffy said. Spike gave her a look. “Much.” She muttered.

“Thought so. Look, just bloody do it.” Spike said. “Fine…bossy.” Buffy muttered. Spike watched her as she yanked her head back with the cone and gulped down the rest of the ice cream. Buffy swallowed it and gasped. “Ooooh, cool.” She said. Spike smirked. “Wait for it.” He said. *“Wait for wh-ah! Brain freeze!” Buffy grabbed her head with her free hand. Spike laughed.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow! Damnit Spike!”

He kept laughing as she kept rubbing her head.

************************************************************************

Buffy got home close to 11. Her mother, thankfully, was sleep. Buffy had climbed in through her window from her tree. She looked back at the ground and saw Spike walking away.

She smiled.

She closed her window and silently changed. She got into her bed and turned her alarm on. She sighed. Tonight was nice.

Oddly enough Buffy actually felt like a real girl. Like she had just gone out on a date with her boyfriend and-whoa!

Be kind rewind.

Did she just say ‘out on a date with her boyfriend’? Okay, where in the hell did that come from? Well…okay yeah Spike was being nice. And, yeah, they talked the entire time about nothing serious. They laughed. He even bought her a cone.

Damnit!

Spike was acting like a boyfriend.

And she already had one…but for how long.

Buffy sighed and rolled over onto her back. She stared up at her ceiling, thinking.

`I love Angel. Don’t I?`

/Yes!/

`Okay, but why do I feel so much better around Spike…than I do with Angel?`

/Uh…./

`Argh! This is not fair!`

/Compare them./

`What?`

/Compare them. What does Angel have that Spike doesn’t?/

`Well a soul for one.`

/Okay, keep going./

`Hmm, Angel has this way of being like a guardian for me. He’s really sweet like that. Looks out for me. A little too much sometimes. Uh, he listens very well. He actually tries to stop me when I rant, which is good, because I can go on and on and-`

/Okay! Get the point. What else about Angel?/

`Hmm, well he knows everything! He’s like a cute library. The gang likes him...kind of. Oh, oh! He does that little staring thing.`

/You mean that creepy staring thing?/

`Oh, yeah. He just stares at me the whole time. What’s up with that? Oh, he’s a little bit of the jealous kind of guy. Freaked when I had danced with Xander.`

/Fun times./

`Oh, hush up. Let’s see…I think that’s it. Oh, he’s big and strong. And kept forget that he loves me.`

/Okay, now what about Spike./

`Oh, man!`

Buffy put her hands behind her head and smiled.

`Spike is just like sex on legs. He’s so cool and he’s got that whole swagger and British thing going on. He has pet names, and I love them. They make me melt every time. He does that extremely sexy thing with his tongue. And that tick in his jaw when he’s mad. Hot! Plus the way he stands. He just has this stance that makes you just want to melt at his feet.`

/Oh, yeah. Definitely done some of that./

Buffy laughed a little.

/What about when he touches you?/

`Oh man. When he touches me it’s just too amazing. His cool touch just sets my skin ablaze.`

/Plus more melting./

Buffy laughed again.

`Oh and his eyes. God, I love his eyes. They’re just so blue sometimes it’s amazing. Then at other times they get really dark or they have so many colors. And the look he gives me…it’s like he sees me. Like he can see through me, see in me, see me. The Slayer, the little girl, the growing woman. All of it! And that little smirk of his.`

/Oh, yeah. That smirk that makes you want to either smack it off or kiss him./

`Tell me about it. And his kisses. It’s like nothing else in the world! `

/Okay, not bad. Now how about the bad things about Spike and Angel?/

Buffy sighed.

`Well lets see. Spike’s evil. Angel does that stupid cryptic information thing. Spike’s evil. Angel gets overly protective. Spike’s evil. Angel never opens up. Spike’s evil. Angel- `

/Okay, starting to sense a trend here!/

`I know, I’m sorry. But that’s the only major stand point in Spike. He’s evil. He kills people, he’s killed Slayers.`

/Angel used to be evil. He killed people./

`Used to. Big word you keep forgetting.`

/Okay, what else besides Spike’s evil./

`I don’t know. That’s just it.`

/Okay, what’s the one thing that sticks out between them? Other than the whole vampire and soul thing./

Buffy thought for a moment.

`Well there are two things.`

/Two?/

`One is the way they look at me. When Angel and Spike look at me I feel like a little girl.`

/What’s the difference between them?/

`When I feel that way around Spike it’s only that. I feel helpless to him. I feel like if he asked me to give him my savings account I’d do it with a triple back flip. It’s just that memorizing.`

/And Angel?/

`I feel helpless. Not just to him, but to everything around me. He really makes me feel my age when he looks at me. Like- like….`

/Like you’re standing in shoes too big for your size./

`Exactly. And that is not a good feeling.`

/Okay, what’s the second thing?/

`Their kiss.`

/Oh. You don’t even need to explain that one./

Buffy groaned and rolled over onto her side again. “What is it with Spike that just draws me to him?” she asked her room.

A/N: Hope this wasn't too confusing. Sorry!





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