If I could turn back time
If I could find a way I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay
Why did I tell Spike he was beneath me? Why did I tell him I hated him when I really wanted to grab him and kiss him? Now I am here all alone and Spike left me for Drucilla. Why can't time reverse itself and make things right? Here I sit on what should be our 1 year anniversary as husband and wife and my husband is with another woman.
I don't know why I did the things I did I don't know why I said the things I said
Pride's like a knife it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons they wound sometimes.
Why did I have to cheat on him with Riley? Riley of all people. I still remember the day Spike walked in on us. I was ridding him like he was a stallion in heat. I just looked at Spike with cold eyes and continued to fuck the loser. My eyes never left Spike's as I hit orgasm. I could see his eyes turing black as coal with tears streaming down his face before he stormed out of the house and went to the bar where he met her....Drucilla. Why can't I just call him and say I am sorry. That I want him back. Damn pride of mine. I just want to cut my heart out.
I didn't really mean to hurt you I didn't wanna see you go I know I made you cry, but baby
I still remember those tears he shed as he watched me. When I saw him walkout I knew I had made a mistake with Riley, but why did I do it? If I was feeling that lonely why couldn't I just go to Spike and tell him that all his working was pushing us away?
If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that hurt you
And you'd stay
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me
Like you used to do
If I could just turn back the time to before I met Riley all would be better. I would still have the man I love. I would give him anything he wants just to get him back. If he wanted all the stars in the sky, I would give it to him. I would find some way to reach them and give it to him. I can still remember his loving. I miss that. He had that look he gave me and I knew what he wanted. I sure miss his look. As I am sitting here thinking about Spike and his lovemaking, I can still feel it in my body.
If I could turn back time
I want time to reverse itself.
My world was shattered I was torn apart
Like someone took a knife and drove it deep in my heart
You walked out that door I swore that I didn't care
But I lost everything darling then and there
Why? Why did I do this to him? I am sitting here looking at the kitchen knife. Would it even hurt if I stabbed the place where my heart was? I am sitting here crying some more as I think about him walking out, walking away into the arms of another woman.
Too strong to tell you I was sorry
Too proud to tell you I was wrong
I know that I was blind, and ooh...
I am sitting here now looking at the phone. I found the phone number at where he is staying yet I haven't made the call. I am too damn proud. Why can't he call me and say it was all a mistake. That he is coming home. But I know that will never happen. I am the one that needs to make the call, but I can't seem to make my fingers dial the number.
If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that hurt you
And you'd stay
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me
Like you used to do
If he would just come back home, I would give him what he most desires, a child. Then he would love me like no one else has. I would never ever again say He was beneath me. What was I thinking? I little fight should not have become something huge like it did and mess up our whole lives. A lousy fight about the white picket fence and children. I would give it all to him if he would come home. Come back to me.
Ooohh
If I could turn back time
If I could turn back time
If I could turn back time
ooh baby
Where is a time machine when you need one? Time needs to reverse so I can get my life back.
I didn't really mean to hurt you
I didn't want to see you go
I know I made you cry
Ooohh
I should have followed him when he walked out on me. I should have made Riley leave right away, No, I had to screw him again just to keep the pain away. What has I thinking? Just watching Spike's tears killed me inside, yet I finished having sex with Riley while watching my husband's eyes get blacker and blacker.
If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that hurt you
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me
Like you used to do
A family was all he wanted. Just thinking about it now, I can picture a little Spike running around with those beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous cheekbones. I had to ruin it.
If I could turn back time (turn back time)
If I could find a way (find a way)
Then baby, maybe, maybe
You'd stay
I am looking at the phone. Should I pick it up and dial the number? 954-555-3456 That was all I needed to dial.
Reach the stars
If I could reach the stars
Picking up the phone, I finally make my fingers dial the number I memorized. This was it. Pride be damned. I was going to get my husband back. As I was waiting for some one to pick up, someone came through my doors. It was Spike, he came back. "We need to talk." "I agree." I said as he sits down on the chair, the chair farthest from me.
"You hurt me. Damn it. I tried to hurt you back by pretending I was with Dru, but I couldn't. Why did you do that? Why did you have sex with another man in our bed?" I couldn't really answer on why I had did it, He just shook his head with disappointment.
"At the time, I didn't think I wanted children. But losing you was the worst feeling in the world." I started crying and couldn't stop.
"Good, now you know how I felt when I walked in on you with him. That damn bed is going to be burned with the sheets before I even think of crawling in bed with you. We have a lot of issues to work out, but with time, it should work. "
"Thank You." I said to him as he goes out to get his suitcases and taking them into the spare bedroom. At least he is giving me a shot.
Author's Chapter Notes:
based on the song Turn Back Time by Cher