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Don’t stop! Don’t turn around!

That thought ran through Buffy’s head over and over again as she forced herself to continue her steady pace towards home. She could hear Spike just behind her calling her name, begging her to stop and talk things out with him, and she could feel her resolve weakening with every step. She couldn’t face him now! She had managed to take one disaster and turn it into a major catastrophe!

She still had a hard time believing that she had just kissed him! Wasn’t she the one that had promised herself that she wasn’t going to get involved again? Then she lets one phone call from Angel to upset her to the point that she all but told Spike how much his leaving had hurt her, and if what she had said hadn’t gotten through, then that kiss had confirmed it! It hadn’t been completely her fault though. He had egged her on! If he hadn’t shown up in the first place, she wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place! It really didn’t matter now. All she needed was to get home. Let Spike think what he wanted. She’d go to bed, and tomorrow she’d start looking for the vampires that had killed Faith and pretend the events of this evening had never happened.

She couldn’t hold in the sigh of relief when her hand made contact with her front door. Her fingers shook as she tried to fit the key into the lock. She could hear the thud of the combat boots Spike always wore as he ran up the steps of the front porch, and she forced herself to calm down long enough to get the door open. Swinging the door open, she sprinted inside heading straight for the stairs. Buffy felt relief flood through her body the moment she reached them.

“Buffy, stop!” Spike said sharply from just behind her. She had to stifle a cry when his fingers wrapped about her elbow stopping her retreat just as her foot landed on the first step. She could have easily broken his grasp, but instead she spun about to glare at him.

“Let go of me, Spike!” Buffy growled trying to sound furious, but instead her voice sounded pleading.

“Not this time, Slayer,” Spike tightened his grip on her arm waiting for her to lash out at any moment, but he refused to let her get away. “We need to talk…”

“There’s nothing to talk about!” she snapped cutting him short as usual, but she made no attempt to leave.

“Nothing to talk about?!” he sighed in frustration. “You kiss me like that, and you think there’s nothing to talk about?!”

She opened her mouth for another denial, but then shut it just as quickly. She had to gather her thoughts. Her impulsiveness was what had gotten her into this mess to begin with! She couldn’t let him frustrate her again. She had to stay calm, make him understand that there could never be anything between them. She was the Slayer. It wasn’t that she couldn’t have a normal relationship, she couldn’t have any relationship!

“Spike, please,” she pleaded, “we can’t do this. We’ve got to find those vampires that killed Faith.” She knew it was a long shot, but maybe if she could remind him of why they had gone to the Magick Shop to begin with, he’d remember that they should be patrolling not arguing over a stupid kiss!

“Don’t change the subject, Slayer,” he warned her softly. “You’re not putting me off this time! You feel something for me, and I’m not going to just drop it and go away like a good little boy! Admit it, Buffy, there’s something there!”

“I…I…” she felt ridiculous standing there with her mouth opening and closing with no excuses coming readily to her lips. “I’m the Slayer…”

“Right,” Spike laughed coldly taking a step closer to her, “and there’s a no dating clause in the job description…”

“I have a duty to protect…”

“To protect the world, blah, blah, blah,” he cut her off. His arm snaked about her waist pulling her against him before she had a chance to react. She had to tilt her head in order to make eye contact, her heart beginning to race at the look of determination in his blue eyes. “You’re beginning to sound like a broken record, Summers, and I’m getting rather tired of the same old dance.”

“Spike…” Buff commenced with her fish impression for the second time during the confrontation. She had completely run out of convincing—at least, convincing to her—explanations, but she had to say something. There was only one thing she could do. She knew she it was a lie, and it would hurt him, again, but she couldn’t let this happen. “Spike, I don’t…”

Her refusal was cut short as he bent his head quickly and pressed his lips firmly against hers. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she cried as the saddened assault. She placed her tiny hands against her chest in a vain attempt to push him away, hating herself for enjoying the feel of the hard muscles through the thin cotton t-shirt and for the fact that her hands had suddenly developed a mind of their own. Instead of giving him a shove that should have landed him back out on the porch, her fingers clenched the material of his shirt in an attempt to pull him even closer.

“Spike, don’t…” she whispered breathlessly against his lips when he drew back slightly. She refused to open her eyes. She couldn’t look at him. There would be no way to disguise what she was feeling if he could see her eyes.

“No more words, Slayer,” he told her his breath tickling her lips sparking every nerve ending in her body to life. “You’re much more truthful this way.”

She didn’t even attempt to protest when his lips returned to hers. This time the pressure was light, and she found herself twining her fingers through his soft blond curls, pulling his head closer, urging his to deepen the kiss. Spike growled at her reaction, the arm about her waist tightening its embrace, while the other hand released its grasp on her arm to find its way beneath her shirt.

She could feel him smile against her lips as his cool fingers skimmed over her rib cage. Not a single refusal came to mind as he lowered their bodies to the steps. She didn’t even mind the pressure as the corners of the stairs dug into her back. All she could concentrate on was the way he was touching her. She’d worry about trying to explain her actions away in the morning.

“Spike, please,” she moaned as he trailed kisses down her cheek to press his lips to the erratic pulse point beating at the base of her throat.

“Please, what, Buffy?” he asked his voice muffled against her neck. He raised his head so he could look into her eyes. “Just say it,” he pressed smiling sadly at the look of confusion that passed over her features. “Tell me, you love me.”

Her eyes widened as his words registered through the haze in her brain. “I…I,” she couldn’t say it. There would be no way to explain that one away in the morning, but she couldn’t stand it if he stopped touching her.

A shrill ring cut into her thoughts, quickly bringing her back to reality. Spike groaned at the interruption. “Ignore it,” he insisted as she turned her head toward the phone.

“I can’t. Something must have happened,” she told him, knowing after the relative quietness of the past few years, it was never a good sign when her phone rang at that hour of the night. She heard the blond vampire curse beneath his breath as she managed to wiggle her body from beneath his and stood, a torrid blush marring her cheeks when she saw that the front door was still open! Quickly, she walked towards the phone trying desperately to forget what she had almost done.

“Hello?” she spoke into the receiver trying to keep her voice steady.

“Buffy?” Giles voice came through the line. “I’m not disturbing you am I?”

Was the man psychic? Buffy couldn’t help but think before she answered. “No, there’s nothing going on here. What’s wrong, Giles?”

“I just spoke to the Council,” he informed her and her heart sank. It was never good news when Giles spoke to the council. “I know it’s late, but there have been some developments that we should discuss. I could be there in fifteen minutes?”

“Sure,” she answered relieved that she wouldn’t have to spend the evening alone with Spike. “I’ll see you in a bit.” She placed the receiver back in its cradle, and then headed for the kitchen refusing to even glance at the vampire still lounging on her stairway.

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