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Chapter 17

Five months in Hell.

Buffy and Spike were curled around each other, they had woken up that way, as usual.

“You know what I really miss?” Buffy asked Spike.

“Patrolling? Your mum?” Spike guessed.

“Those too, but I really miss Willow. I wonder how she’s coping, you know since her break-up with Oz.” Buffy sighed.

“I’m sure she’s fine, and I think her new witch friend is helping her cope with the loss of men just fine.” Spike snickered.

“Tara? What do you… Are you saying Willows GAY?” Buffy screeched sitting up in the bed.

“I would say so luv, they reek of each other, no, not sex. Just intimacy, why is that a problem?” Spike asked, sitting up to face her.

“NO! I mean no, it’s not a problem, just a shock. I mean before Oz, she’s been in love with Xander her whole life.” Buffy explained.

“That explains it then.” Spike commented dryly.

Buffy swatted his chest playfully.

“Your obviously comfortable with same sex relationships.” Buffy said nonchalantly.

“You love who you love pet, man or woman.” Spike answered truthfully.

Buffy pondered it for a moment and then broke the dating guides fifth commandment, thou shall not ask about previous lovers.

“Have you ever…?” she let the question hang but Spike wouldn’t give in to easily.

“Ever what?” He pushed.

“Loved a man?” he spoke about love, so Buffy kept it that way.

“Only one.” Spike answered, and Buffy chewed her lip, how farther should she push.

“Who was he?” She asked.

“Same person you loved, pet.” Spike answered honestly, he was tired of keeping secrets.

“You loved Angel?” Buffy asked, shocked.

“No, luv, I loved Angelus. And before you try and rip me a new one, he was different then. When he reverted after you two, he was insane. I think after having his demon suppressed for so long, he just lost it. When it was us, he was like he is now only more of a vampire.” Spike explained.

“You and Angelus huh?” Buffy was shocked.

“Used to drive Dru and Darla nuts.” Spike chuckled, and it made Buffy smile.

“So what happened?” Buffy asked curiously.

“He was cursed, it wouldn’t have made a difference to me, but he didn’t tell me, he told Darla. She couldn’t cope with it, so he left, without a fucking word; I got on with it, with Dru.” Spike’s voice was tinged with bitterness.

“I’m sorry Spike.” Buffy didn’t know what else to say, to hear Spike talk of loving someone, really loving them; she could hear the emotion in his voice, it made her brain hurt. It meant that demons did have feelings, and if demons had feelings, were they all evil?

Spike laughed.

“There’s no need to comfort me over peaches, it was done a long time ago.” He leaned forward to embrace her and Buffy let him. The hug was fierce and Buffy just held him.

Spike seemed to shake himself out of it.

“So what are you wearing to the Union?” Buffy knew it was a diversion tactic but it worked anyway.

“I don’t know, what’s the dress code? It’s a demon thing, so does that mean black leather? Entrails? Help a girl out here, will you?” Buffy smiled at him.

“Whatever you wear, you’ll be beautiful.” Spike spoke with feeling, when he saw Buffy blush he wanted to kick himself, him and his big mouth.

“Thank you.” Buffy answered sincerely and kissed him on the forehead before skipping to the walk in wardrobe.

“She’s going to be in there for a bloody week.” Spike muttered to himself before slumping back down onto the bed.





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