Author's Chapter Notes:
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Chapter three: Second Time Around

Chapter three: Conversations with Dead People

Wide eyed, Buffy stared at the person in front of her; Joyce, her mother. Blinking once again, her visionally finally cleared, she could see the person in front of her was definitely her mother. She had Joyce’s soft, brown eyes, and the same kind smile that only a mother could posses. Wearing a long, white dress, with a soft light emitting from the air around her, she nodded slightly in confirmation.

“Where are we?” Buffy asked, her voice was low, not out of fear but out of what felt like lack of use.

“We’re in Sunnydale Honey.” Buffy began to shake her head in protest, but Joyce continued, “It seems that the amulet that Spike sent you, and the Powers, still have something left in them to give. At the moment, we are back in time, to the day of your resurrection.”

Pausing for a moment to let the information she had just been given sink in, Joyce watched as Buffy looked at her surroundings once more. Realisation dawned on her face as she realised that this was, in fact, where she had been buried. Looking down at the ground she had just forced herself up from, Buffy realised it had been shifted, with mounds lying all around her and her own headstone, only a few feet from where she was standing. Again, Buffy began to shake her head; she had lived through this once, they could not force her to go through it all again. Seemingly reading her mind, Joyce began to speak again;

“This is your chance to change things Buffy. When Spike sent you the amulet, he didn’t know this would happen. No one knew this would happen, but everything that happened in the past, to you, to your friends, you can change it. Stop what happened from happening again.”

“I...” Buffy began, but nothing would come out. She knew this was Joyce, and she knew what she was hearing was the truth.

“This time, I have made sure you don’t have to dig out of your grave. I could let you go through that again” Joyce told her, filling in the words that Buffy could not. Buffy looked down, she was covered in dirt and her hands were bleeding, but she was out. A teary, yet grateful smile appeared on her face.

“I have to go now sweetie, I was never meant to stay long. But just remember, I love you, and I know you can do this” Joyce told her, blowing her a kiss. Buffy looked down, trying to compose her thoughts and work out what to say. She raised her head again to speak, but Joyce was gone. In the distance , she heard a scream.

“Oh crap” Buffy said, not at all impressed. The moment with her mother momentarily put out of her head, as Buffy recounted the events of the night of her resurrection.

Danger? Check.

Demons crashing Sunnydale? Check

Friends in danger? Check

Everything was happening exactly as it had the first time around and there was no doubt in Buffy’s head that this was for real. She sighed, tore the bottom off her dress allowing for freer movement, and ran to the place where she knew her friends would be waiting. And, just as it happened then, her friends were surrounded by a pack of biker demons, looking for blood.

“Hey, looking for someone?” Buffy asked, causing the pack to turn around in her direction

“Ha ha, what is this? Another robot?” The pack leader asked. He turned back around to face Willow and the gang, “I must admit, you did a pretty good job on these things, I might have to keep one as a souvenir for the boy’s back home to have some fun with.” The other members of the group all snickered as the leader turned back to face Buffy

“Now, should I rip your head off or just short circuit you? I’m sure I could find an Evian bottle around here somewhere”

“Actually, I was thinking we could fight. I’d snap your neck, grab the knife that’s hanging from your belt and stab one of your other guys in the heart while my friends here tag team biker number three, what do you think?” Buffy replied, arms crossed in a nonchalant gesture. The leaders smirk turned into a glare as he lunged. Seemingly unprepared by the overwhelming smell of human that greeted him, he was thrown off guard, making it easy for Buffy to deliver a round house kick to his chest, forcing him backwards before she got him in a head lock and snapped his neck. As he fell to the ground, she grabbed his knife that was hanging from his belt and turned around, forcing it through the chest of the second demon that was coming up behind her.

Her friends who, seemingly, had recovered from the shock of seeing her were all busy jumping on the third member of the pack and, by the sounds of his struggling moans, Buffy knew it wouldn’t be long before he too was taking care of. Seeing that things were under control, Buffy ran in the direction of the place she knew she would be needed next.

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Being back at the tower that had originally been the scene of her death brought back a flood of memories for Buffy. The last two years flashed through her mind, and she knew that this was her chance to change everything. To make it better. To let her gift of life, of a second chance, to be just that, not something dark that she carried around inside herself.

“Buffy?” She heard her sister’s voice behind her and turned around to meet her gaze, “Buffy, it’s really you.”

Dawn ran forward, embracing her sister and Buffy fell to the ground with the force of Dawn’s hug. Buffy didn’t speak, simply held Dawn until her tears stopped and her grasp loosened. When Dawn pulled away from her just enough to look into her eyes, Buffy smiled.

“Let’s go home Dawnie,” and they both stood and began to walk.

When Buffy and Dawn walked through the door of 1630 Revello drive, Buffy looked around at all the things she had thought she would never see again; the photo’s, the furniture, the slightly different coloured bits of wall that Xander had repaired after a demon attack... everything. She sighed; she was home. She walked around her house, Dawn of course following closely behind her, as Buffy led them into the bathroom.

Buffy let Dawn go about her business of cleaning up Buffy’s hands, listening to her nervous chatter as she tried to deal with the fact that Buffy was alive again. Buffy wanted to say something, she really did, but she was busy dealing with her own nerves, waiting with baited breath for the moment she knew would be coming soon. It was only moments, but it felt like forever.

“Dawn!” his voice thundered from the bottom of the stairs. Dawn sighed, knowing what trouble awaited her, and went down the stairs to greet him. Buffy waited a few moments, trying to compose her breathing, and followed after her sister.

“You! I could kill you.” He screamed at Dawn, the worry in his voice more than evident. Buffy’s breath hitched in her throat and her steps faltered momentarily as the knowledge that it was really him, really her Spike, sunk in.

‘Spike” she heard Dawn say

“No, I’m serious,” Spike continued on his rant, “I could rip your head off one handed and drink from your brain stem” he told her, his hand actions mimicking his threat.

“Spike, look” Dawn pleaded once more

“Yeah, I’ve seen the bloody bot before, didn’t think she’d patch up so...” He stopped. Buffy saw the realisation on his face, and wondered if he could hear her pounding heartbeat. She walked down the rest of the stairs in order to stand directly in front of him, begging him with her eyes to believe that it was really her. The look of awe that she had taken for granted the first time around plastered his features again, but this time it was mirrored in her own features. It wasn’t just him getting her back; it was her getting Spike back too. Buffy waited a few moments in silence, staring into his blue eyes as they bore into her own. She knew the second, however, that the moment was broken as his eyes snapped away from her eyes and down to her hands as he smelt the blood.

“Her hands” He stated, speaking to Dawn, but not taking his eyes off Buffy.

“Yeah, I was gonna fix ‘em up, I don’t know how they got like that” She explained to him

“I do, you had to dig out of your grave, didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement, and the first time he had met her eyes since there moment was broken earlier.

“Yeah, that’s what I had to do” Buffy replied. So, it wasn’t entirely true this time around, but what was she meant to say? Nah, of course I didn’t, my dead mother met me at my grave and pulled me out so I wouldn’t remember it just as I was sent back in time from Rome. Yeah, that would go down a treat. Best to just keep things as close to this time’s ‘normal’ as possible. For a while, at least.

Spike looked at Dawn, “Grab some supplies; mercurochrome, bandages”

Dawn nodded to him, before walking into the kitchen. Spike signalled for Buffy to go into the living room and as she did so, she could feel his presence following closely behind her, and the hand that wasn’t quite touching her back, leading her. He sat her down on the couch and sat on the table directly in front of her. He took her hands into his, being as careful and as gentle as she remembered him being. Buffy was surprised at how clear her memory of this night was. She wasn’t sure if it was simply due to good memory, the fact that this particular night had always been fresh to her mind, even years later, or if, now, she was more on her game and actively trying to remember the way things were, now she knew how she could change them.

She sighed as she could feel the coolness of his hands in her own, the temperature of them vastly different than the last times their hands were interlocked, his thumbs rubbing small circles into her skin. She struggled holding her tears back at finally being able to touch him again, tears which, she was sure, Spike misinterpreted.

“How long was I gone?” She asked, unsure as to why she did so, but putting it down to wanting to hear the emotion in his voice as he answered her, needing to know for sure that this was the Spike that loved her.

“Hundred and forty seven days yesterday, a hundred and forty eight today, ‘cept today doesn’t count, does it?’ he told her, not missing a beat. The smile and look of awe on his face almost broke her heart as she felt it constricting in her chest, aware of the amazing miracle and second chance she had been given. She opened her mouth to whisper his name, and raised her hand to cup his cheek. Unfortunately, time had other plans.

“Is she here??” It was Willows voice, almost completely drowned out by the sound of the door being forced open and the other members of the Scooby gang piling in it after her. Spike immediately stood up and walked out the door, without saying a single word to her or any other person in the room. Resisting the urge to go after him, still vaguely afraid that this was some beautiful dream she would wake up from, without him by her side, Buffy decided that now was not the time. She knew what this moment needed from her, and decided she would sneak out later to see Spike again.

Just as she remembered it, the gang started firing questions from her at all angles. As overwhelming as it all was, she couldn’t help but fill with warmth. It was good to see her friends, Anya, so full of life, without the scars, both emotional and physical, and pain of the final battle.

“Guys, back off” Dawn’s voice rose above the rest. Buffy smiled, her sister really was on the way to becoming a very mature woman.

“She, she’s right, we should just let Buffy tell her what she needs” Willow said. Everyone went quiet, waiting for Buffy’s reply. Buffy stood still for a few moments, surveying her group of friends in silence. She knew that one of the first things she would have to deal with was Willow’s overuse of magic, and then revealing to her friends what Willow had actually taken her away from. It wasn’t something she wanted to do, by any means, but in order for Willow to see how badly the power of magic was affecting her, she needed to know the full damage of what she had done. Now, Buffy wouldn’t have given up anything that had happened to her in the past, for it was what had brought her to this moment, this second chance. But some things needed to be fixed, and there were only a few ways that could be done. Making her decision that, for tonight, as far as her friends were concerned, enough had been done and she would deal with some of the bigger problems at a later date, Buffy gave Willow and the gang a slightly sad smile.

“I think I’m just going to go to bed, I’m kind of tired” Buffy told them all, heading in the direction of the staircase.

“Sure, I mean, jet lag from hell has gotta be, you know, jet lag from hell’ Anya chirped up in her own ‘helpful’ way. Buffy‘s lips tugged upwards in a genuine, fond smile. She didn’t realise how much she had missed Anya. Without saying a word, she began to walk up the stairs.

“Buffy, be glad, we got you out” Willow said, a somewhat forced optimism clouding her voice.
Buffy didn’t answered, merely sighing inwards at the idea that this time around, she would have to tell them all the truth, sooner rather than later. She gave them one last smile, hugging each member of the Scooby gang as she did so, and wordlessly headed up to bed. Regardless of everything, it was so good to have them all back.

“See, she’d gonna be fine, she used to go to bed all the time” Buffy could hear Willow’s voice from the bottom of the stairs. She knew she was trying to convince herself of that fact, more than anyone else.

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Buffy lay in bed for a few hours, listening to the random bits of conversation she was able to pick up from the floor below. All about her, of course. The force and self control it took her not to walk down the stairs and join them all, talking like everything was fine, as she now felt, was one of the hardest things she had done of late. Although now, she was fine, she had dealt with the loss of Heaven and the return to life and was so much more than thankful to be back here for her second chance, Buffy knew she couldn’t just go acting like everything was ok when she knew, thanks to her future knowledge that things were actually far from it. The hours she spent in bed, waiting for the rest of the household members to retire, were spent thinking about how she would go about things, trying to pinpoint what went wrong and where, and what she would do to stop the same things happening a second time around. There were so many things but, as far as Buffy could tell, they would be ok this time.

They had to be.

When her sister, Willow and Tara had gone to bed, and Xander and Anya had left, Buffy waited in bed for an hour longer, making sure everyone was definitely asleep before getting up and getting dressed. The first thing on her list, and the main reason she was back here, couldn’t wait a moment longer. Buffy felt the nerved building as she finished putting her clothes on and headed down the stairs. She quickly scribbled a note to Dawn and put it on the fridge, not saying where she was going, only that she would be back soon and not to worry.

Taking one more deep breath to calm her nerves, sliding her jacket across her shoulders for warmth, Buffy headed out the front door and began the short walk to her vampire’s crypt.

TBC





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