Spike shook from the effort to keep his emotions in check. “My fault? May I remind you, you’re the bloody fool that had to march off in to the jungle?”

Buffy yanked her arm away from his hand and yelled. “That was your fault!”

His hold on his temper crumbled and he yelled right back. “I didn’t do anything to you!”

“Why not?”

Spike opened his mouth to yell back but froze as her words cleared the red fog of anger in his head. “What?”

Buffy gasped and brought her hand to her mouth. She couldn’t believe she’d just said it. After four years of pretending she wasn’t hurt, that she’d never wanted him, Buffy had just admitted the truth. The horror of her embarrassment nearly lapped the horror of their situation. She was stuck on a deserted island with William Pratt. “I…I…”

Spike’s mind went to same place it went every time he thought about Buffy Summers. They’d kissed once or, more accurately, several times in the space of about thirty minutes. He’d waited two weeks after hearing that she’d dumped the cardboard cutout boyfriend. He’d played it casual. “Hey, what ya doin’ today? Want to head over to the lake? Seems like a good day for it, yeah?” She’d agreed and his heart had leapt.

He’d helped her into his car and then driven into town to pick up some beer. “Drink of choice?” He’d asked, trying to be smooth. Buffy had shrugged. She’d looked nervous and he’d been afraid she would change her mind. “No worries,” he’d said, “I know what you like.” He’d selected the girliest looking wine coolers in the place and laughed when she’d sipped the first one as if she was tasting scotch. He was still certain that her scrunching her nose was the cutest sight he’d ever seen.

They’d hung out at the lake for hours talking, drinking, and watching the water. It was five minutes from campus, but they were alone. They’d stepped barefoot over the cold rocks along the water’s edge and pointed out small, sand colored fish. Once, while they sat on a blanket, a heron landed close by, and they watched him hunt for those same small fish. They’d teased and argued and finally, he’d kissed her. Spike remembered the unusual nerves that rose in his stomach, and the effort it took to keep that kiss gentle. He’d been sure that he was going scare her away. Instead, she’d leaned closer and kissed him back. She’d trembled in his arms and tasted like artificial lime flavoring. Spike had kept his hands at her waist and his mouth soft against hers. When he’d pulled back to smile at her, they had both giggled nervously and turned to look at the water, but she hadn’t moved away. They’d kissed again and she’d placed her hands on his chest.

He’d rested his forehead against hers. “This is probably a bad idea, huh?”

“Probably” she’d echoed.

Spike had looked at the empty bottles at the edge of their blanket and panicked. It wasn’t enough to give him a buzz, but Buffy was looking at him with a dazed expression. He’d given her one more kiss before pulling away. She’d just broken up with her boyfriend, and he’d gotten her drunk before kissing her. Spike figured he’d be lucky if she was still talking to him in the morning. “I guess I should get you back to campus before your chaperones show up.” He’d forced himself to give her a wink before he’d started gathering their trash and blanket. She’d followed him to the car looking confused, and he’d driven her back and walked her into her dorm. They’d stood in the lobby staring at each for a long moment before he’d leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. “You should probably get some water in you and maybe give me a couple days, yeah?”

He’d done the right thing. He’d been a good guy and good friend. He’d hoped that she might give him another chance when she was sober, but it hadn’t happened. They’d stayed friendly-ish, but things had gotten awkward.

Spike stared at the beautiful woman in front of him. Her words from the night before suddenly made sense. She thought he’d changed his mind. She thought he hadn’t wanted her. “I never thought that you weren’t worth the risk.”

“But…”

“You were drunk. I know you like to think that I’m some kind of monster, but I’d have never taken advantage of you like that. You…you were my friend.”

Buffy’s shoulders slumped and she answered in a quiet voice. “I wasn’t drunk.”

Spike arched a brow in skepticism.

“Tipsy maybe, but give me a little credit here. I knew you. I made the choice to go with you.”

“You didn’t trust me.”

“I did, I just thought…”

“You thought that, after all the time we’d spent together, I would take you out to the lake, get you drunk, and fuck you on some rocks covered by a dirty blanket.” He exhaled quickly. “I’ll admit it, pet. I was probably hopin’ to round a couple of bases, but I wanted you to be my girl. If we had…I wanted it to be special.”

Buffy wanted to cry. It didn’t make sense. “But you never tried again. You just stopped. I mean you made a couple of jokes about how it was a good thing we hadn’t let things get too far and then…nothing.”

“You agreed. I was just…you said that we would have been a disaster. I just tried to…”

“Save face.”

He nodded.

“Me too.”

“But you had to know how I felt about you. You must have known. All you had to do was say the word.”

“I thought you changed your mind. That you didn’t want everyone to see you with me.”

Spike scoffed. “Please? That whole school knew how I felt about you.”

“That you wanted to sleep with me, maybe. They thought that was funny, right. Like you were going for a novelty, but you know I would have expected more. You couldn’t have started dating me; I was the teacher’s pet that worked in library. You couldn’t have dated me, and you liked me just enough not to screw me over completely.”

“Bollocks.”

“Spike…”

He stepped closer and spoke in a deep voice. “Trust me, pet. If I had screwed you it would have been completely.” He turned and walked off the dock.

Buffy took one last forlorn look at the ship as it sailed away and then followed him to the beach. Spike was sitting in the sand, so she sat down beside him. “Can’t you call them back?”

“No.”

“You don’t have like a walkie-talkie or something?”

“I’m a singer, Buffy. I’m not even normal staff. We’re just gonna have to wait until someone realizes we’re missing.”

Buffy shivered even though it wasn’t cold. “What if they don’t notice?”

“They will.”

“But…”

Hearing the fear in her voice melted Spike’s anger. He scooted closer and opened his arms. “Come here, love.” He nodded towards his lap and waited out Buffy’s hesitation. When she finally moved closer, he pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. Resting his chin on her head, he spoke in a calm tone. “I’m supposed to meet my band for practice in the morning. They’ll notice if I don’t show up. And a whole lot more people will notice if I don’t perform tomorrow night.”

“But what if they don’t realize that you’re still here?”

“Then we wait for another ship. That’s not the only one that stops here. The cruise line owns the island. There’s probably a party here every night.”

“But…”

“We’ll be fine. We just have to stay calm and wait it out.”
“How?”





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