Spike stood up and pulled her up with him. “We just have to get your mind off things. Once you’re not so scared it won’t seem as bad.”
Buffy looked out at the water and saw lights on the horizon. It was all she could see of the boat. “I think this is officially beyond bad, William.”
Spike noted her use of his real name with a smile. He held out his hand. “Dance with me.”
“There’s no music.” She knew it was ridiculous, but it was the first thing she thought.
“I´ve got you under my skin.” Spike sang the words quietly and held his hand again.
Blushing, Buffy looked away. “Shouldn’t we be like building a shelter or something?”
“I´ve got you deep in the heart of me.” Spike gestured towards the thatched roof pavilion that the cruise line had built to use during light rain and continued singing. “So deep in my heart—that you´re really a part of me.”
Shaking slightly, she took his hand and let him pull her closer. She wrapped her arms around his waist and, closing her eyes, let him sway her slowly from side to side.
“I´ve got you under my skin. I tried so not to give in. I said to myself—this affair never will go so well. But why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well, I´ve got you under my skin.
I´d sacrifice anything; come what might, for the sake of having you near. In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night and repeats, repeats in my ear—Don´t you know, little fool, you never can win. Use your mentality, wake up to reality. But each time that I do, just the thought of you makes me stop before I begin…”
They swayed in silence for several moments.
“You stopped singing.”
“Forgot the words.”
“Oh.” She listened to the beating of her own heart for a moment. “Maybe you could sing one of your own songs?”
“Forgot those too.”
“Oh.” She pulled her head back to look at him. “Would you have cheated on me? If we had…”
“No.”
“Just like that? You’re just sure?”
“Yes.”
Buffy frowned slightly not sure, if his response should make her feel better or worse.
Spike sighed. “I’m not a cheater, pet. I know you think I’m a whore, but…”
“I don’t think you’re a whore.”
Spike’s expression made it clear he didn’t believe her.
She shrugged. “You slept with half the girls at school.”
“I did not.”
“Half the ones I knew then. I mean there was my R.A., Cordy and that foreign exchange student from Jamaica and both of the girls from Norway. Oh, and my friend, Anya, of course.” She saw his wince and nodded. “Yeah, I heard about that one. It surprised me, I mean I thought she couldn’t stand you, but…I mean, I guess I know why now.” She didn’t mention that Anya had once told her that she should give Spike a chance, or that Anya had told her all the things that Spike had said about her being the kind of girl he could fall for. Anya had shrugged and told Buffy that she thought Spike might actually take her seriously even though she was still irritated with him. Buffy had stared at her open-mouthed and tried to deal with the fact the he’d slept with one of her good friends and that she’d had no idea.
“So that was it, really, the girls. That’s the reason you couldn’t give me a chance.”
“No. Not really, but…I was…” She sighed, but grabbed his arm when he tried to move away. “Intimidated.” She saw the doubt on his face and continued quickly. “You partied before you came to Northwood, right? Then you were two years ahead of me at school. You were four years older than I was. That’s as old as I am now. You had done all kinds of stuff, sex stuff, with all kinds of girls, and I was…barely adjusted to not having a curfew. Riley was my first, you knew that, but I was his first too. We never got past shy and fumbling. That was my experience. How could I compete with the girls you were used to? You’re acting as if you thought I could have just marched up to you and pulled you back to my dorm room. I couldn’t have. I wasn’t that girl. I…”
“I didn’t expect you to have a stripper pole routine, Buffy. I wanted you to be my girl. The rest would have worked itself out.”
“And a month later you graduated and you left and I just…didn’t have a chance.”
Spike shrugged and gave her sad smile. “I suppose that’s all for the best after all, right? I mean, cruise ship entertainment. Didn’t turn out to be much of a catch, did I?”
Buffy gave a soft laugh. “Oh, I don’t know. You’ve still got all your hair.”
His eyebrows came together. “I bloody well hope so; I’m twenty-seven years old.”
“Sure, but all that bleach—you’re lucky it hasn’t fallen out in clumps.” She reached up and tugged on his pale blond spikes.
He pushed her hand down. “Hey, don’t be messing with the hair.”
“Cause there’s so many girls around here to impress.” She laughed.
He leaned close and whispered in her ear. “The only girl I ever cared to impress is right here.”
Buffy felt her cheeks heat up. She felt like her whole world had just flipped over. “Do you really think they’re going to find us soon?”
“Are you trying to decide if I’m the last man on earth?”
She laughed softly and swatted his arm. “No, and be serious.”
He sighed. “Seriously, I’ll think someone will find us soon. In the meantime, we’re stuck and yeah…it’s a fucked up situation.”
“Are you scared?”
He frowned. “Sure. A touch maybe.”
“Okay. So what do we do? First step.”
“Fire.” He pulled a lighter out of his pocket. “Wanna help me gather some wood?”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to [info]dawnofme for the lovely and inspiring banner, thanks to [info]spuffy_wonder for the challenge and big thanks to [info]sanityfair1 for all her help beta-reading. *Hugs* As always, all mistakes are my own and I still do not own Whedon's characters and use them only for fun. I'm sorry I haven't responded to the lovely comments from the last posting-my computer issues haven't been resolved. :( I'm going to post this quick while I still. Let me know what you think! The song below was written by Cole Porter.
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