Chapter 4 – No Angels no Flowers
I cannot leave here, I cannot stay,
Forever haunted, more than afraid,
Asphyxiate on words I would say,
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue,
There are no flowers, no not this time,
There'll be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words, I find,
I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this, hurts me… - This Time Imperfect, AFI
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Cold bucket of water was dumped on her face. Buffy whimpered and coughed weakly as she came to.
‘’Na-ah. You don’t get to do that, pet. You shall be here always, paying attention to every word I say. No more of these fainting spells.’’
She looked up at the man looming above her, fully expecting to see the unbearable coldness in his eyes that he graced her with all the time. What she saw however, was that his eyes were not glaring into hers; rather, they had faraway look of sorts, while glued to something lower than her face. She followed his gaze and looked downwards, curious and confused.
She gasped and she sat up straight right away, quickly covering herself. Despite the terrible cold that was intensified, due to the now wet clothes and hair, she blushed prettily, her cheeks burning, and she closed her eyes tightly in mortification. Tops of her breasts were completely exposed! She could die of embarrassment alone!
When she dared to open her eyes again, and then look up at him, she saw his tightly clenched jaw and the ticking of a muscle there. His eyes were tightly shut, like hers had been just moments before. God, she had done something wrong again, hadn’t she?
As he opened his eyes finally and bored them into hers, she was startled and sure that they were inflamed by the unholy fire itself, singing them completely black. He looked enraged.
‘’No use to hide yourself, all proper-like,’’ he bit out.
His voice was… husky? He coughed and his voice turned to normal again – indifferent, as she described it – though a little strained; why for she did not know. The man standing above her was terrifying, but strange.
‘’I will see whatever you could offer soon enough, so why the formalities now, yeah?’’
She turned confused eyes towards him. His cheeks hollowed in a leering smile that sent sharp daggers of fear down her spine. She felt so lost, so small and incapable of playing his game. And, what did he mean by seeing all she had to offer…?
‘’Only that, you shall be stripped of your clothes and sent to be rid of all your body hair, then prodded by my silver spike, to see if you really are Satan’s whore as they all say you are. Then you shall be tortured until you admit it yourself and be sent to burn.’’ He said calmly, his voice now almost bored.
Did she really ask him that aloud? And…
… She felt all the blood seep out of her cheeks again, when his words finally made an impact to her brain. He… would… strip… then…prod… with what… into her body?...
‘’W-why…’’ she croaked out. She had no idea from where she found the courage to speak. ‘’Why would you do something like that to me?’’ she whispered silently, but the echoes gave her voice strength she knew she didn’t have. She felt sick to her stomach. ‘’I-I do not even kn-n-now of what am I a-accused of to deserve this fate. I-I’m sure that I am in-n-innocent in whatever you chose to accuse me of. N-no sin of mine could be so hor-horrible to send me here…’’
She really didn’t know anymore, to be completely honest. She was so sure that she knew of what the town’s people thought about her, when they were talking behind her back, making fun of her. She was called witch from time to time but it was all just for their sport at making her feel even less than what she was, she was so sure of it then. Buffy had never believed that the words they spoke so fleetingly would have brought her into this nightmare, where she’d be reduced even further into nothing. So what was she really accused of…?
‘’You are no innocent, witch.’’ His voice was cold. She saw that his lips were pressed into a thin line.
‘’B-but I am…’’
‘’Silence!’’
His voice was thunderous and intensified as well. It made her ears hurt, so she covered them with her hands fearfully, trembling like a leaf.
‘’Do not lie! Do not ever lie to me, wench! I know, what you did, saw it with my both two bleeding eyes and you shall be appropriately punished for all the repulsive things you did. I will make you admit it all first, and by the next Saturday evening, you shall sing it like a bird yourself!’’
She watched his face in terror; it was red in powerful rage and his words were slashing at her like a blazing whip.
‘’S-s-Saturday?’’ she whispered. It was the only thing she heard that held some sort of end to all this…and she just had to be sure of… what happens after that day?...
‘’Next Saturday evening is the day you confess your sins. That night, will be the night you die, witch.’’
She was beyond confused, beyond horrified. She felt disoriented and dizzy.
And she couldn’t think. She just couldn’t think anymore. It was too much and she would faint again, and then he would slap her or drag her by the hair or pour buckets of freezing water on her, ‘till she wakes up again, only to take off her clothes and torture her! Or he just might do all that while she was unconscious, but no, of course not, he’d wait for her to be very present for every humiliation he prepared for her to receive… before she dies finally…
She didn’t faint. She hadn’t dared to. Instead, she dry-heaved. Her imagination was drawing pictures in her head of nameless weapons and hands on her skin, hurting her until she confessed of anything they wanted and more… and among all these images, was his face. Smiling with coldness in his eyes and blood dripping down his lips…
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‘’Lord Rayne!’’
The voice called him from behind and he grunted in answer without looking away from the heaving girl in front of him. He almost felt sick himself if he wasn’t so used to these reactions; and his own descriptions of things that were sure as Hell to come.
Sure as Hell… how appropriate.
He really wouldn’t describe himself as a very religious man. He was born into all these beliefs, yes, but he wasn’t foolish enough to believe everything it is said in the Bible or by the priests anymore. He wasn’t that young and he saw too many things in his life, and these things hardened him. The only reason he bothered to do these hunts in the name of the Holy Church was, because he got paid by the Pope for every job he’d done so far in his name. And he was paid as much by the King himself as well. It was all in the name of final justice after all. The Church or the King would confiscate the land and riches of the poor bastards he’d caught for them and sent them to die.
Spike himself was in turn richly rewarded and indispensable man in the King’s army. He was one of the best and the richest. The hunt in itself suits him as well. He was restless when there were no battles to be won. The time of peace unsettled him, for he had no peace. Not in his head and not in his heart. The only thing that made him alive nowadays, were battle cries and clanging of swords, hunt and capture of the people who disturbed the peace in between wars, and nothing more.
Not even her.
He watched the girl at his feet with well schooled indifference. He brought her here last night because she was guilty. At least in his book she was. The evidences they found near her home and also at that strange place where they found her sickened him and were good enough to hang her in the towns square at the very same night.
But he wanted to hear her admit it first. He wanted to hear her saying the words. He needed her to condemn herself with them.
‘’Lord Rayne.’’
‘’Yeah? ‘M down ‘ere,’’ he finally answered aloud, all the while he observed his captive intently. The girl was still green around the gills, but at least she stopped retching.
‘’My Lord, your brother is calling for you. He is currently in his private chambers that You signed for him.’’
His servant Jonathan came down the stony stairs and now stood behind him, waiting for directions.
William answered distractedly. ‘’Go. Tell him I shall come in a moment. And send for the head of guards to come ‘ere right away.’’
The young servant hurried to do as he was told.
William turned his back on the girl as soon as he heard footsteps approaching. Bloody hell, but Jonathan was fast! He knew he did the right thing when he hired the little annoying bugger.
‘’You wished for my presence, my Lord?’’
Spike looked at one of the best men in his army, as he came down the steps to stand before him. The head guard of the Rayne castle was the one man William trusted absolutely. ‘’I did, Finn. And none of that ‘lord’ crap from you, Riley; we’re alone, so it’s Spike to you. Christ only knows what we’ve been through together arm by arm on the battlefields.’’
Riley grinned. ‘’What do you want of me Spike, then?’’
‘’I got to go see my little brother for a while. He’s been pestering me for the whole day since he arrived and God knows what he wants now.’’ Both men chuckled briefly. ‘’But I can’t leave her here alone this time. You stay here and…’’ Spike turned around and looked at the now sleeping form of his captive. He smiled mischievously, and turned back to Riley. ‘’And don’t let her fall to sleep.’’
Riley Finn raised one eyebrow and looked behind his Lord to see who exactly he meant. ‘’Is… that who I think she is?’’ his voice was tinged with awe.
‘’Yes. I’ve been called yesterday night to collect her and bring her in.’’
‘’But… is it true?’’ The young guard wasn’t here last night when she was brought and he was mightily curious. And also a bit skeptic.
‘’Why do you care, Finn?’’ Now Spike raised his scarred eyebrow at the taller man.
‘’Only that… well, look at her, Spike! She’s tiny… a little thing…’’
Spike looked disbelieving, sizing up the big man standing in front of him. ‘’Yea… but that hadn’t stopped her from doing it, yeah?’’
The jaw of his friend hardened at the remainder of all of the gruesome rumors about her deeds, and Spike saw that his eyes had changed - hardened also - as he stared at Buffy over his shoulder. ‘’No. I guess not.’’
‘’Good. Because, if I ever believed in existence of witches, she’s the shining proof that they somehow do.’’
Spike stepped towards the stairs where he paused briefly, his hands clasped behind his back, ‘’Just remember, no sleeping,’’ he reminded the guard who nodded and then he resumed walking.
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‘’Is it true? Can I see??’’
Lord William hadn’t taken so much as a step into his brother’s chambers when he was assailed by the questions. There was no guess of whom the younger boy spoke of, though.
‘’No, Andrew, you cannot. You are not to show one single hair of yours down there while she’s here, understand?’’ he looked sternly into his younger brothers eyes, even as the boy shook, from all the suppressed questions, that is. ‘’You hear me?’’ he asked again for good measure, adding a growl into his words, just to make the order come out clearly.
Andrew nodded quickly, his long blonde hair slipping from the pony tail he wore. ‘’Okay, Spike, but can I see it then?’’
‘’Did you not hear any of the bloody words I just said, whelp?’’ William almost growled out the words. He feared he’d start to pull out his hair in exasperation. He desperately tried not to roll his eyes like a child. Why, oh, why did their parents went to see the King right at these times and sent his little brother to him? Why?
‘’I heard you, Spike! But then, if you don’t want me to see the bodies, can I at least see her?’’ Andrew toed the soft furry rug at his feet and watched imploringly at his older brother.
Who stared at him incredulously.
‘’NO! And don’t call me Spike either, Andrew. It isn’t fitting.’’ He glared at him, waiting for the boy to nod vigorously and then moved towards the fireplace, sitting down on one of the two chairs in front of it to warm up his body a little. Christ, but the dungeons were cold!
His brother joined him sulkily on the other chair, plopping down with a pout. ‘’Is it true at least?’’ He swung with his legs while he sat, much to Spike’s annoyance.
‘’Is that all you needed of me this time? You disrupted me so you could pester me to answer your thousand sodden questions?’’
Andrew’s eyes widened a bit in expectation, even as his older brother sighed heavily.
‘’Fine,’’ he grumbled and Andrew smiled enthusiastically. ‘’We found all the evidences we need to earn her a nice warm death. Or hot even.’’ Spike absently watched the fire licking at the wood. She must feel cold right now, though.
‘’I’ve heard that she’s supposed to be so very ugly, that the flowers die the instant she looks at them and then Warren told me that she killed the half of the army when you tried to capture her and that it was her fault that it rains so much lately…’’
‘’Bloody hell, Andrew! I told you not to talk to hired help! Just listen to yourself! How would sodden Warren know she killed the half of the army if he hasn’t even been there!’’
That shut him up for a bit, Spike thought, as Andrew closed his mouth in thought.
Andrew was blissfully quiet for a while then and Spike concentrated on the flames again, thinking of the supposed ugly woman below. She wasn’t really ugly at all. Christ, her skin… when he dumped that damned water on her, he only wanted to humiliate and wake her up. But the plan had backfired nastily, didn’t it? He completely forgot about what he was saying at that moment as he got an eyeful of her small perky breasts. At least he got to humiliate her, right? He brightened up a bit at the thought but became miserable again as he recalled her pretty cheeks as they were tinged pink...
He ran a hand through his hair. Sodden fool.
He snorted in his mind as he recalled other rubbish his little brother assumed. She wasn’t capable of finishing off even one of his men, not only because they couldn't be defeated so easily, since they were the best men in his army, but because of the state they found her in last night. She was…
‘’Why do you talk so funny, Spike?’’
Spike sighed. Andrew obviously decided that he wasn’t finished with his thousand questions for today. He turned toward him.
‘’What are you talking about now?’’ Spike tried to concentrate on his brother’s face, but the specs of light before his eyes from watching at flames too long, were getting in the way.
‘’Why do you speak in such a funny way?’’
Finally the vision cleared and William could see the amused confusion furrowing his brother’s eyebrows.
‘’I mean, one moment you speak like the lowest of peasants, and in the next you speak like the Father.’’
‘’Shut your trap, Whelp.’’
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She reached holy grounds without being spotted.
Buffy sighed, letting out a big breath of relief and knocked at the door of the church to see if anyone could help her. She already felt safer, but the prickling feeling at the back of her neck told her she wasn’t as secured out here as she’d have liked.
She waited a bit. There was no answer. She knocked a few more times, this time more urgently, while looking over her shoulder nervously, each knock sounded hollow and too loud to her ears.
She thought she saw something at the edge of the forest and whimpered in fear. She tried to twist the knob and push the heavy wooden door to open.
Finally they gave in, albeit heavily, and she stepped inside.
She was startled by her own echoing voice, croaked from the sharp wind damaging her wind pipes, as she asked if anyone was there, so she quieted down after that. Something was not right. The church was unlit, and abandoned looking. She hastily made a few steps further until she reached the dais where the large crucifix stood proudly. She knelt down in front of it and looked at it, terrified.
What was going on? Isn’t there supposed to be an evening Mass? A priest, at least? Or a lit candle or two in front of the image of God?
As she looked better around herself, she noted that the church itself was bare. As in, completely bare of anything the usual churches had. The altar had no candles, not even unlit ones.
She slowly stood up from where she knelt and approached the table where sermons were had by the priest. Buffy wiped at its surface with her finger. It came away dusty and dirty…
White, cold terror gripped her spine and trailed its fingers up and down it. What was going on?...
Is it right for the church to be left in this state?
Buffy looked around the place. She spotted the small doors at the side of the church and decided to investigate it, before she could succumb fully to the blind panic that was creeping up on the edges of her mind.
They seemed to be locked, or just as before, stuck from the lack of use. She desperately hoped that the latter was not to be true.
She tugged with all her small force and the doors gave way again after the forth desperate try.
The smell almost brought her to her knees. Then she noted the flies. Then the rusty colors covering the white stones on the walls… and then… it.
Her hands flew to her mouth, but it was too late. The scream could have pierced the walls and awoken the dead, buried deep around this place that God has so obviously abandoned.
Buffy stumbled backwards; her eyes transfixed upon the dead body in priests clothes. She didn’t think she could handle any more horror this night…
‘’Shhh….’’
A voice sounded behind her and she let out another blood curdling scream in surprise, jumping and turning around.
‘’Be quiet, little girl. We are at the church…’’
Then there was nothing else but the darkness as the person veiled in night pounced…
Yet another bucket of cold water was splashed on her face, waking her from another dream she had no desire to remember if it was true.
The voice telling her to get up from the floor was not familiar to her this time, however.
‘’C’mon, get up! We do not have all day!’’
She squinted towards the person with a deep hateful voice. Is there any voice without the hate in it in this place? She looked up… and up… and up… by God, but he was huge! His light brown hair was bound together at the nape of his neck and his face was… sort of nice looking, if it wasn’t marred by the hate clearly written all over it. She hadn’t even noticed the scar there, which lined from his left eye to his upper lip.
Uncomfortable, she lowered her eyes a bit. He held something in his hands.
‘’Food.’’
There was the loud metallic clang as he threw the bowl of some sort of soup on the floor by her side. The speed, with which she grabbed the bowl to steady it from turning over and spill, was not only surprising to the new tormentor of hers, but to herself as well. She hadn’t eaten in days… and her body worked by itself now, craving for something warm to fill its belly… it smelled heavenly.
‘’With compliments by the Lord William Rayne himself. But if it were for me, I’d simply let you starve, bitch!’’
She paid no mind to his sharp words. Not with a bowl tightly pressed to her lips, devouring its content with gusto. The only thing she let herself to hear was the name of the Devil, so she could place it with his face.
Buffy thought, that this new person standing over her now was nothing but a puppet, biding his master’s demands.
He was no threat to her.
But those full lips of the blonde Devil were. The Devil called by the name of William.
Such a tender name, she thought absently, as she gulped down greedily the last few drops of the first meal she had in days… even if it was a bit too watered down. It was still heavenly.
She placed the empty bowl gently on the floor by her legs.
The tall man with hateful glare beside her was speaking again. She tried to listen to him better this time, now that she could focus enough. What he told her though, made her wish she hadn’t eaten at all. Such a waste for her nice meal if she’d be bound to lose it so soon…
‘’It is a good thing that I know he hadn’t fed you because he’d feel sorry for you. He definitely has other motives to keep you alive. Feeding you was just that – prolonging your life and strengthen your body so it would be able to feel every single cut and prod with the objects he’s chosen for you.’’ He paused and laughed. ‘’ You probably wish right now you hadn’t eaten anything at all, am I not right?’’
Oh, how he was not wrong at all. The warmth spreading all over her body from the soup was starting to feel wrong, oh so wrong. How was she so reckless to believe that it was in his kindness that the food was brought? She should have known better.
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TBC...
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay, here it comes. The longest chapter I wrote so far, though it may not seem as long to you. I had a hard time writing it, since it contains some more of the hints and info's and I hope you like it.
And it's official - nose running, coughing, feeling like a big pile of... poopy (hee hee) - I'm sick.
Gah... no beta.. just me. Point out any grammar mistakes to me if you are so kind, please :)
Aaaand of course, a BIG THANK YOU for all who reviewed the last chapter! You guys are all so amazing! I even have some amazing new reviewers: Kellie Mulder, tinkerbell and Vette! Also, thank you to all of my older ones! Luv ya all very much!
(anyone wondering, yea...I do get quite emotional when I'm sick :D )
And it's official - nose running, coughing, feeling like a big pile of... poopy (hee hee) - I'm sick.
Gah... no beta.. just me. Point out any grammar mistakes to me if you are so kind, please :)
Aaaand of course, a BIG THANK YOU for all who reviewed the last chapter! You guys are all so amazing! I even have some amazing new reviewers: Kellie Mulder, tinkerbell and Vette! Also, thank you to all of my older ones! Luv ya all very much!
(anyone wondering, yea...I do get quite emotional when I'm sick :D )
Chapter End Notes:
I used some of the words from the season 2 of the series (the Saturday talk), though I changed it for my purpose. hope you didn't mind.
Review please... :) Do make me all happy again *big brown puppy eyes*
Review please... :) Do make me all happy again *big brown puppy eyes*