Author's Chapter Notes:
Two weeks is a long time to wait for an update. I'm sorry. Thank you to everyone who is sticking around despite the delays. I love this story and wish sincerely that my life would open up big chunks of writing and posting time everyday. Lately that has not been the case. I think this chapter will surprise a few people-hopefully in a good way. At least one person guessed the twist that comes near the end. Congrats to them. ;)
Also, this story was nominated in a few categories at the Sunnydale Memorial Fanfiction Awards site. Thank you very much to whomever nominated it and me (I'm honored to be in the best author category with some excellent writers). Voting has started, so if you like this story or any of the many other great fics that have been nominated, please take the time to go vote. Thank you.
Wednesday March 16, 2011

Buffy waited impatiently for Willow to answer her phone. She paced about her bedroom before sitting down next to the large pile of clothes on her bed.

“Hi, Buffy!”

“Wills, oh good! Look, I need to tell you something.”

“Okay?”

“I…the thing is…I have a date on Friday.”

“Wow, that’s…wow, Buffy. I don’t…um…” On her end, Willow stopped washing the dishes from Tara’s burst of baking and sat on a chair at their kitchen table. “Are you sure that you’re ready for that? I mean…it’s only been a few days since you and Angel called things off—oh! Is it with Angel?”

“No—no, not with Angel. I have a date with Spike.”

“Oh! Wow.”

“You think it’s too soon.”

“No, I didn’t mean. I thought you were talking about—maybe a guy you met at the grocery store. I didn’t realize…wow, Spike?”

Buffy sighed. “So you don’t think it’s too soon?”

Willow fiddled with the edge of a pretty woven placemat. “What I think doesn’t matter. Do you feel like it’s too soon?”

“I knew you were going to say something like that. Hanging out with Tara has made you sound all wise.” She fell back to lie across the selection of belts and scarves on her pillows. “I feel—I feel like I should feel like it’s too soon.”

Willow laughed softly. “But what you actually feel is…”

“Happy, excited, a little nervous and then guilty.”

“Guilty because…”

“Because I just broke up with the man I was supposed to marry, a good man who I was with for years and who loved me and I should be miserable, but I have butterflies in my stomach. I just spent the last hour going through my closet trying to figure out what to wear on Friday, like a sixteen year old. If I hadn’t called you, I’d have probably de-evolved to putting on lipstick and kissing my mirror by now.”

Willow laughed. “I see.”

“Do you? Am I a horrible person?”

“No, sweetie. You’re just a girl who has a date with a handsome guy on Friday. There’s nothing wrong with being excited about that. There’s no rule about how long you have to wait to be happy again.”

“But people are going to think—”

“It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. You and Spike are the only ones that get a say here. Do you want to go out with Spike on Friday?”

Buffy laughed. “A world of yes.”

“So, he asked you out, right?”

“Kind of. He—Willow, he said he was in love with me.” She said the words quietly, both not ready to share such intimate news and needing the advice of her best friend desperately.

“Wow. He said that?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you? Are you? How do you feel about him?” Willow wondered if she was going to have to change her advice to Buffy. She couldn’t really advise Buffy to go out on a casual date that she may or may not be ready for with a man who was already in love with her.

“I feel…like I can’t look away. I mean, he’s really hot, but that’s not it or not the part that matters. It’s—I’m…drawn to him but drawn doesn’t seem like a big enough word. I feel like if I were in a room with a hundred strangers and he was one of them I would go stand next to him, that I wouldn’t be able to help myself. He just pulls me in. And whenever I’m with him I feel lighter and younger and I laugh. Spike makes me laugh all the time. And when he kissed me, my toes did this thing that I didn’t know toes could do and all I wanted was to keep kissing him.”

By the end of Buffy’s speech, Willow was grinning broadly. “Pick out something great for your date, sweetie, have fun and don’t worry about anyone else.”



Friday, March 18, 2011

Buffy answered the door at Spike’s first knock. He was about to laugh at her quick response time when he saw her and lost the ability to speak for a moment. She was wearing a silky red wrap dress with cap sleeves and a swingy skirt that ended a few inches above her knees and a pair of black high-heeled sandals. Her hair was down and the ends had been curled into large, bouncy waves that danced around her shoulders. Her lips were red, her eyes carefully outlined with black and she smelled like the jasmine perfume that Spike had started to dream about. He was glad he’d decided not to wear jeans and had gone with a pair of black slacks and a dark grey striped button-down instead.

“Wow.” He stared at her for another moment before grinning, slowly. “You’re wearing this pretty frock for me?” He saw her blushing as he stepped close and leaned in to kiss one of her flushed cheeks. He took a second to enjoy her scent and her nearness. “Can I kiss you now, love, or will I get the rack for smudging your lipstick?”

She giggled almost breathlessly. “It’s lip stain, the sales girl swears it’s un-smudgable.”

His hand cupped the back of her head. “Sounds like a bloody challenge to me.” His mouth claimed hers for a thorough hello. He pulled back with a groan and looked at her again. “Have I mentioned that that is a very pretty dress?”

She laughed. “Too much?”

He shook his head. “I think red is my new favorite color.” He shrugged. “Actually, I think red was my favorite color before.”

“You said it was.”

His eyebrows arched up. “Is that so?”

She nodded. “When we went to bail Dawnie out, you said that your favorite color was red.”

His head tilted to the side as he watched her cheeks flush again. He reached over and brushed his thumb across the pink skin. She really had worn the dress for him. The thought that she had chosen a dress that she knew was his favorite color hit him nearly as hard as seeing her in the dress had. “Buffy.”

She nodded.

“I think I’m going to have to kiss you again. How are you feeling about that?”

“Close the door.”

His brow furrowed.

“The front door is still open behind you. Close it.”

He frowned slightly, but turned away to shut the door. When he was done, he smirked. “Now do I get another kiss?”

She shook her head. “I wore something else for you too.”

Spike watched in awe as she reached for the bow at her waist and quickly untied it. In seconds she had undone the bow and the hidden inner button that held her dress closed and was holding the sides open to reveal a delicate black French lace bra and matching panties.

Spike groaned. “For me?” His voice was hoarse.

Buffy nodded. “I bought them yesterday. Do you like them?”

He noticed suddenly that her hands were shaking and that she wasn’t quite meeting his eyes and realized she was nervous, despite the apparent boldness of the gesture. He covered her hands with his own and spoke with a slow deliberateness. “You are more gorgeous than any fantasy I could construct.” He leaned in to give her a soft kiss. “Now, you’d really best fix your dress before I lose the ability to walk you out to the car.”

She kissed him. “We could stay in. Order delivery.”

He swallowed hard. “This dress…” He lifted one hand to slide across the smooth fabric on her shoulder. “This dress calls for a real restaurant. Let me take you out on a proper date.”

She let go of her dress, stepped close enough to feel the cool metal of his belt buckle brushing against her bare stomach and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Are you very hungry, Spike?”

He chuckled gruffly. “Are you trying to kill me, kitten?”

Buffy spoke in a whisper near his ear. “I like it when you call me that. I shouldn’t have let you do it before. I should have made you stop because I liked it too much and it made me all fluttery. I tried to convince myself that it didn’t mean anything, that it was just a generic term for you, but you never call anyone else that, do you?”

“No.” He laughed softly before brushing her hair back from her face. “How did I not give myself away ages ago?”

“I couldn’t see it.”

He cupped her cheek and gave her a serious look. “Why not,” he asked quietly.

She shrugged. “I just couldn’t imagine that you could ever go for a girl like me.”

He laughed again, louder, and then shook his head. “Why wouldn’t I want a sweet, sexy girl with a good heart and a clever mouth? Were you under the impression that I was joining the priesthood? I mean seriously, even then, I’m pretty certain you’d have made me rethink things.”

She ducked her head. “You’re cool. I mean your music and your friends, your hair—you’re cool and kind of edgy, right? I’m not edgy. I’m like the opposite of edgy, Spike. I teach preschool and blush at the lyrics in pop music. I thought you’d want a girl that was...cooler, like Goth or something.”

“Silly bird.” He held her face between his palms. “You’re all I want, all I can think about.”

“Oh.” She trembled slightly.

“If we don’t leave soon we’ll miss our reservation.”

She grinned. “Darn?”


“You really don’t want me to take you out? You got all dressed up for nothing?”

“No. I got dressed up for you. I just want to be with you. I don’t want to share you with a whole restaurant full of people right now.”

Spike felt himself getting a little chocked up by her words. His eyes widened as he studied her face. He thought she looked worried, as though she thought he might say no. He couldn’t fathom why. “I’m yours.”

When Spike stopped talking about the restaurant and started kissing her again, Buffy felt an instant blast of pride over her success. She was seducing Spike. It was what she wanted and she was doing it. After her talk with Willow, she had lain on her bed for an hour and thought about it. It was simple, she’d decided, she wanted Spike. She wanted him more than she could remember wanting anything else ever. That he seemed to want her as well was some kind of miracle and she’d decided that she didn’t want to waste another moment. Of course nearly as soon as she realized her success, the enormity of the situation hit her and she found herself trembling more from nerves than from the lust that had made her decide to skip dinner.

His hand on her back held her close as he kissed her. “Pet? You’re shaking.”

She shook her head. “It’s nothing.” Buffy smiled as she placed her palms flat against his chest. “Come to my room.” She watched his eyes darken with desire before she turned away and reassured herself that she was doing the right thing. As she walked the few steps to her bedroom, she finished taking off her dress and then laid it over the chair at her dressing table. Even during a grand seduction Buffy couldn’t imagine letting a silk dress lie crumpled on the floor.

Spike followed her in and watched in surprise as she lifted a box of matches and started lighting the candles she’d set up.

Buffy wondered if he would notice that her bedding was all new. It was, she supposed, an odd thing to worry about, but she had. When she’d lain on her bed the other night thinking about Spike, it had suddenly felt wrong to consider sharing the same bed with him that she had previously shared with another man. She wanted to give them a fresh start, so she’d gone shopping. She had new sheets, a new duvet and three sets of new lingerie in more daring styles than she would have ever selected before. She’d also gone to Tara’s shop and picked up a bunch of candles. Her hand barely shook as she lit them.

“You been redecorating?”

She walked back to where he stood just inside her doorway. “I wanted everything to be perfect.”

Spike reached over and slid his hand around to the back of her neck and up so that his fingers tangled in her hair. “Buffy, love, you’ve got to know that I don’t need candles or fancy underwear for this to be perfect.” He smirked. “Not saying I don’t appreciate all the trappings here, just need you to know that you’re already all I need. Anything with you will be perfect for me.” His fingers slipped back around to tip her chin up so that she would meet his eyes.

Her eyes widened under his quizzical gaze. “Oh! I’m over doing things, aren’t I? I’m sorry I just—”

“Whoa. Hold on.” He cupped her face and gave her a soft kiss before continuing. “Kitten, if you like candles then let’s have candles.” He grinned. “I’ll go buy more candles if it will make you happy. We can fill the place with so many candles that people on planes passing by will think they’re seeing Vegas if you like. Just be here with me, yeah? It feels like I lost you a few minutes back.”

She smiled. “I guess I’m just a little nervous.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m getting that feeling. It makes me wonder why we’re rushing this. We don’t need to push this tonight. We could—”

She stepped closer and quickly kissed him, hard. “I want you. I want to be with you. I’m just not sure how to go about it.”

He frowned slightly and studied her for a moment. “Buffy, love, you’re not a—you have been…”

Her cheeks warmed. “Only with Liam and not—not often.” She dropped her gaze to the floor, hating both the admission and having said her ex-boyfriend’s name under the current circumstances.

He nodded. “Right. You’re sure you’re ready to—”

“Yes.” She looked back up at him and nodded.

Spike couldn’t help grinning. “Brilliant.” He took the box of matches from her hand and placed it on her dresser before scooping her into his arms.

She squeaked briefly, in surprise, and he laughed as he took the few steps to the bed and laid her down on it. He grinned at her before he moved to join her on the mattress.

Resting on his elbows, Spike smiled down at her. “Do you remember the night we met?”

Buffy laughed for a second before groaning. “Not exactly my proudest hour.” She nodded. “Of course I remember.”

“I begged Fred not to make me do that thing, the auction. I hated the idea.”

She grinned. “But you were too nice to say no to a charity thing.”

He shook his head. “I said no, several times, to the charity thing. I just couldn’t say no to Fred.” He shrugged slightly. “She’s family. And she was the best woman I’d ever met, before you.”

Buffy smiled and then laughed. “Secret weapon. They know your weakness. You take care of your own.”

He nodded. “Yeah.” His head tilted to the side and he looked at her with a serious expression for a moment while he considered her words and what she’d noticed about him. He’d been interested in her from the start and so he’d always been watching and absorbing every detail; that she’d watched him, that she knew him as well as he knew her, was a startling idea. He shook the thought off for the moment. “Point is, love, I was dragged there kicking, went through with the whole humiliating debacle plotting vengeance and then I saw you.”

“And you thought great now I have to go out with a crazy girl who clearly drinks too much and has a rich friend with a nutty sense of humor?”

“And I thought that just maybe a person could get rewarded for doing the right thing because I was going to go out with the most adorable creature I’d ever laid eyes on.”

Buffy smiled but she felt her cheeks heating up anyway.

Spike chuckled. “Yeah, you were blushing then too. I wondered what kind of girl was ballsy enough to buy a date at an auction but blushed when it came time to meet the guy.”

“The kind of girl that didn’t actually buy the date. You do understand that, right?”

“Yeah, Cordy was pulling the strings and holding the purse. I know that. Always wondered why though. Why’d your girl think that you needed a date with me?”

“I was having a bad day, that’s why we were having a girl’s night out. I was…Angel and I were fighting. We used to do that a lot. I was—I wanted a boyfriend who was around more. I got lonely. Anyway, that’s not…Cordy and Willow were trying to cheer me up so we went to the charity dinner. It was an excuse to dress up and drink things that came in martini glasses. I didn’t even know about the auction until it was starting and then, I swear we were just making fun of it.”

“So it was a joke, then?”

“In part probably, I…I sort of said something that made her...”

He arched an eyebrow. “And what was that?”

Her face was hot. “I said that you were the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.”

His eyes widened. “Martini goggles?”

Buffy shook her head.

“Didn’t think I was your type, kitten.”

She laughed. “Why not?”

He didn’t want to tell her about the times he weighed himself against her ex and come up on the losing side. He was shorter and smaller and far less successful financially. He figured if she wasn’t already thinking it, he wouldn’t remind her. He teased instead. “I seem to recall some disparaging remarks about my hair.”

She reached up and pushed her fingers into his hair. “Actually, I like your hair. It makes you stand out and when you get a little sweaty it curls a bit. I’ve always wanted to play with it.”

He closed his eyes and pressed his head against her fingers. “Feels good.”

Buffy pulled her hands down to the back of his neck and followed his collar around to the front. She traced his shirt down to the first button and pushed it back through its hole. The second and third buttons were given the same treatment before she pushed the pieces of fabric to the sides and placed her hand on his chest. She smiled. “I can feel your heartbeat.” Her smile became a grin. “It’s beating pretty fast.”

“Guess it’s a good thing I wasn’t trying to play this thing cool.”

“Is that how you usually play it?”

He snorted out a laugh. “It’s been so bloody long since I took a girl to bed; I think I’ve forgotten how I usually play it.”

She rolled her eyes before reaching for the next button. “I find that hard to believe, Spike.”

He frowned and pressed his forehead against hers. “You know how I feel about you. You can’t think I’d take some other bird to bed while feeling this way for you.”

“I just meant that you must get plenty of offers.” She’d seen how woman looked at him. Even the little girls in her class had gotten all giggly. Hell, she thought, Satsu doesn’t even do boys and she was all over him.

He leaned down and kissed her neck. “Waited for the right one.” He moved quickly to kiss her lips before she could argue or ask another question.

Buffy’s eyelids fluttered shut.

As he kissed her, he let his body lower so it pressed lightly down on hers. The sensation made her moan. Her body arched upward instinctively and she wrapped her arms around him. When she tried to pull him down more, he turned so that their positions were reversed and she suddenly found herself lying on top of him. She gasped before pushing herself up. Sitting astride his thighs, she looked at him in surprise.

“I had to free up my hands.”

“Is that so?” She grinned impishly. “Whatever for?”

He slid his hands up her arms without breaking eye contact. “I need to touch. Now.”

Her grin faded fast. She nodded twice before reaching for the last button on his shirt. She laughed suddenly and placed her hand over the bulge in his pocket. “You’re vibrating.”

“Ignore it.” He’d been ignoring it since before they’d gone to her bedroom.

She reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone. Her eyes widened when she saw the screen. “You have three missed calls and eight texts.”

“Don’t care.” He reached for his phone, pulled it from her fingers and placed it on her nightstand. It immediately vibrated again, bumping loudly against the polished wood surface.

“You have to look. It might be important.”

“This is important. This is—”

“Just look.”

He sighed heavily before picking up his phone and pushing the button on the screen that would show his texts. “Oh! Oh, bollocks. It’s Fred. She’s—”

“Having the baby.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Everyone is at the hospital.” He frowned. “I don’t know which one.”

“Call and find out. I’ll get dressed.”

“You’ll come with me?”

“Of course” She frowned. “Don’t you want me to come with you?”

“Yes.” He grinned broadly. “Of course I bloody well want you with me.” He sat up and gave her a quick kiss. “Fuck. This is shit timing. This kid had better be brilliant.”

Buffy laughed. “Please, you are already mad about this kid.”

He nodded. “You’re right. I am.” He grinned.


Chapter End Notes:
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