Buffy liked her mythology class. It was interesting and the professor was kind of hot for an older guy. She’d always liked listening to him talk with his British accent. Now that accent made her think about Spike’s accent, although his was a little different. She was sure they were both British, but Spike’s accent was a little rougher around the edges, which was just that much hotter.
She’d really expected him to like her outfit yesterday, but it was actually way better that he’d said he liked what she normally wore. They’d had a moment yesterday, she was certain, and watching him pretend to not think dirty things when she handed him a cherry pie was absolutely the most fun she’d had all week. He acted all tough, but he was totally adorable.
He’d called her love. Just thinking about it made her stomach flutter. Once, the night they’d met, he’d called her kitten. That was still her favorite, but love was pretty great too.
Willow, one of her classmates, reached over and tapped her arm. “Buffy? Don’t you think you should write down the assignment?” She looked concerned.
“What? I mean, yeah.” She laughed. “I guess I’m a little out of it.”
Willow handed her notebook over. “Here I wrote it all down. You can just copy.”
“Thanks.”
“Are you sick? I have some Tylenol in my backpack.”
“No. I’m fine - just daydreaming a little.”
Willow smiled and nodded. “I do that sometimes.” She frowned. “Not in class normally, but when I’m in my room or, well, not the library, but other places.”
Buffy grinned. “That makes sense.” She held back the urge to tease her new friend a little about her extreme academic interest. Willow was too sweet to tease back. Instead she copied the information into her notes and then leaned closer. “Can I tell you a secret?”
Her friend’s face lit up and she nodded. “You definitely can.”
“I think I’m in love, really in love. I can’t stop thinking about this guy and it’s like, no matter what happens when I’m with him, that’s the best part of the day.”
“That’s great!”
“It kinda is.” She handed Willow back her notebook and gave her a spontaneous hug. “Thanks!”
“No problem. That’s what friends do.”
After class Buffy hurried home to frost the brownies she’d baked the night before and fix her make-up before going to see Spike. She wondered if he’d like her dress. It was one of her favorites, a white cotton sundress with eyelet details on the trim that really showed off her tan. She used barrettes to pull her hair back on the sides but left it down in back. Cordelia said that men liked it when woman wore their hair down. Buffy figured it was worth a try. She switched out of the ballet flats she’d worn to class and into a pair of peep toed wedges. Everyone knew that heels made a girl’s legs look better.
She got to the garage just a few minutes before five and hurried inside. She saw Gunn first and waved a friendly hello.
He grinned. “Hey there. I thought we weren’t gonna see you today. We’re closing up right now.”
Her stomach plummeted. “Is Spike still here?” She tried not to sound as worried as she felt.
Gunn laughed loudly. “Yeah, your boy’s still here. He’s not much of a morning person so, last in and last out.” He pointed to the office door. “I think he was just giving a couple of updates.”
“Oh.” She looked over at the door in relief. “I mean, cool.” She smiled at Spike’s friend again, not wanting to be rude.
“How about you just tell him I said goodbye and I’ll be on my way.”
“Okay! I…can tell him that.” She winced but Gunn didn’t look insulted.
He gave her a little salute and headed out the way she’d come in.
Buffy lifted the tray of brownies and headed in to the office. Spike was on the phone, but he looked up just as she walked in and stuttered over a word. Buffy smiled and signaled that he should finish his call. She turned away and pretended to study the line of hooks where the keys were hung. When she heard him say goodbye she turned back around. “Gunn wanted me to tell you that he was leaving.”
“Is that right?”
The butterflies in her stomach were learning to Tango. How could anyone make three words sound so perfect? “Yeah.” She stepped towards him, her heart pounding. There was a smudge of grease or oil or something on his cheek. Looking at it only made her notice how full his lips were. “I…I made you brownies.”
He laughed, just a little. “Why am I starting to feel like I’m being fattened up for slaughter, pet?”
Pet! Oh, that was another good one. “You’re not even a little bit fat.”
“So you’re calling me skinny, now?”
“I…” What? “I think you’re…perfect.” They may have been whispered, but she got the words out.
He swallowed and she waited.
Nothing. He just stared at her while her stomach churned and her hands shook.
Finally, he sighed. “I’m not.” Buffy was about to argue but he reached out and took the brownies. “Don’t you have homework or something? Seems like you’re spending a lot of time in the kitchen.”
Buffy slid her finger through the layer of sticky dust on the desk. “I can read while things are in the oven. It doesn’t take too long. Is there anything you especially like?”
He made a funny noise in his throat and shook his head.
“I was thinking oatmeal cookies for tomorrow. They’re almost healthy and after all that chocolate—” His hand on her chin made her freeze. She lifted her eyes to his and waited.
“Do you know what I’m thinking about right now?” His voice was very deep and very quiet. It made her shiver.
“No.”
“It’s not your cookies.”
“What?”
He chuckled hoarsely, let go of her chin and turned his face away. “Trust me, love. You don’t want to know.”
“I do.” She took another step towards him. “Tell me.”
He turned back, grabbed her around the waist and lifted her up to sit on the desk. While she gasped in surprise, he stepped between her knees and cupped her face between his hands. He smelled like cars and dirt and artificial orange scented cleanser. She stared at him dazedly, wanting him to kiss her more than she’d ever wanted to be kissed in her life.
“I’m thinking about your panties, kitten. Are they already wet for me? How many pretty words would it take to get you to give it up to me right here on a filthy desk in the back of car shop?” His eyes settled on her mouth. “I’m a bad, rude man, Buffy. You’d do best to stay away. Find yourself someone a little more your speed.” He released her face, but didn’t move away.
“You’re not bad.”
He leaned so close to her ear that she could feel his breath, warm against her neck. “Yes, love, I am.”
Buffy tilted her head so that her cheek touched his. “You didn’t have to help me. You could have just left. A lot of people would have, but you didn’t. And you’re right, you could have tried to take advantage already or you could right now, but you haven’t and you won’t.”
He brushed his mouth over hers so lightly that she almost thought she’d imagined it. “I might.”
“No. You’re trying to scare me off by talking…dirty, because you think it’s the right thing to do. And that just proves you’re a good man.” She was almost breathless.
He backed away from her like she was on fire. “Fuck.” He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. “Please go home now.”
Buffy pushed herself off the desk, but her legs were shaking too much to walk. She stood there gripping the edge behind her and watching Spike’s chest rise and fall. His eyes opened slowly and his gaze traveled slowly down her body.
Still looking at her feet, he said “I won’t apologize.”
“I didn’t ask you to.”
“I—there’s grease on your face. The back of your frock is probably ruined just from touching that desk.”
“It’s white. I’ll use bleach.” Buffy tried to shrug as though this was a casual conversation. She missed his closeness, but didn’t think she could make it across the room just yet.
“Brilliant.” He glanced at the door and then back at her.
Buffy’s heart stopped. She didn’t breath. She didn’t move. She did absolutely nothing but look at his incredibly blue eyes. He was doing it again, squinting at her as though he knew the secret dreams she didn’t even know she had.
He came closer. “Are you going to come here tomorrow?”
The question threw her for a moment. “Are you working? It’s Saturday.”
He nodded before answering quietly. “Just for a couple of hours mid-day. I want to finish up a job for someone.”
Her mouth felt too dry to talk. She licked her lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Right.” He nodded and walked out of the room.
It took Buffy another three minutes to make her legs work enough to go home.
******************************************************************************
Spike was getting drunk. It wasn’t the mature thing to do but at the moment, he honestly didn’t give a royal fuck.
Gunn watched him down his drink and whistled. “Damn man. I still don’t understand the big deal here. She’s a little younger. My Dad was ten years older than my Mama and they got on fine. And you’re only looking at, what six or seven years.” He shrugged. “You like her, she likes you. This is not a real problem. Famine, ball cancer-those are real problems.”
Spike’s oldest friend, Clem Adams, dropped into the seat beside him. “It’s not about her age.” He paused. “Well, it’s not entirely about her age. Have you not noticed that Spike hasn’t dated a girl he actually gives a shit about since high school?”
Gunn nodded.
“I’m sitting right here, asswads. And we’re not on Oprah, so shut your gobs.”
Clem ignored him completely and continued talking to Gunn. “Not since Dru cheated on him. Way I see it, there’s two possibilities here. First, Spike here remembers getting his own innocent little heart broken and doesn’t want to risk hurting the girl. Or, Spike here remembers getting his own innocent little heart broken and thinks this girl has a shot at doing it for him again.” He took a sip of his drink. “Could be both.” He looked over at Spike. “What do you think?”
“I think,” he said. “That you like to talk shit.” He downed the rest of his drink. “Are we playing pool or not?”
Clem shook his head. “I’ve got a poker game in a few minutes. I’d invite you in but you’re too busy wallowing in the misery of a pretty girl wanting to jump your bones.”
Gunn laughed. Hard. “We’re calling her Cherry Pie at the garage,” he told Clem. “Seriously, you gotta see this girl. Just a matter of time before she shows up in a bikini top and cut off shorts.”
“She is not going to—Are you gonna play?” Spike lifted his empty glass to his lips and then scowled when nothing came out. He stood up and headed back up to the bar. What the hell did Clem know? So he didn’t want to get involved with virgin drama, so what? That didn’t make him some kind of scared loser. It just made him smart. Spike knew he was just trying to do the smart thing. Of course he’d rather not see the girl hurt, but that had more to do with his not being a monster than it did with some barely remembered girl from high school.
So Drusilla had played him. He’d been an idiot, sixteen and lonely. Of course he’d fallen for the first girl to notice he had a cock. What guy wouldn’t have welcomed the attention of a sexy older girl? His problem was making too much out of it. She’d only been looking to ease some boredom and he’d had to make out like they were soul mates. Certainly a nicer girl wouldn’t have strung him along, but she’d never claimed to be a nice girl and, even as dumb and inexperienced as he was, he should have seen her for what she was. Dru was a bitch.
Buffy wasn’t. No, she was way too much like he’d been back before he’d wizened up. She was trouble and he was going to stay away. He should have stayed away earlier. He definitely shouldn’t have touched her. But how much was a man supposed to take? She’d come by every day that week, prancing around the garage in her pretty little dresses, handing out cookies and making moon eyes at him.
And she’s bloody gorgeous. Spike held up two fingers for the bartender. Why the hell did she have to be so goddamned gorgeous? The memory of her mouth open and waiting for his had him gripping the edge of the bar. Things had gotten out of hand earlier, but they could have easily gotten worse. God, he’d wanted to let things get so much worse. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d wanted someone so badly.
Why the hell had he told her that he’d be at work? He could have had two whole days of peace. It was official, he was a dumbass.
**************************************************************************
Buffy couldn’t sleep. That night she lay on her bed reliving her visit to the garage. She couldn’t say she hadn’t been a little scared when Spike had grabbed her so suddenly, but mostly she’d been excited. He was so intense. She didn’t know how she knew, but she was sure that Spike felt nearly everything more deeply than most people. He didn’t show it. He played everything cool, until he couldn’t anymore. She’d had a peek under his mask earlier and was all the more intrigued by what she’s seen.
Of course, when she replayed the afternoon in her mind, she made a few changes. She couldn’t help but wish she’d been braver and cleverer. She should have kissed him. His mouth had been so close. All she would have had to do was move her head an inch. An inch would have changed the entire situation.
But she’d never been the initiator before. Oh maybe she’d given a couple of small pecks to nice boys, but she’d never really kissed a man before he’d started it. She’d bet anything that Spike was a good kisser. His lips were…delicious. She was sure. She could tell just by looking at them.
Buffy wondered what he would have done if she’d kissed him. Surely he’d have kissed her back. He’d have taken over, deepened the kiss and taken her to places she’d never been.
Being a virgin didn’t mean she wasn’t interested in sex. She was. She thought about it plenty and she’d come to several important decisions. The most recent and most important of those decisions was that Spike was the one, The One—capital t, capital o. Of course that made a lot of sense, he was definitely the most interesting and sexy man she’d ever met and he was going to be her husband.
She figured they’d probably have sex before they got married though, and, if she’d learned anything that afternoon, it was that sex with Spike was going to be amazing.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
It's Buffy's birthday. Happy Birthday Buffy! It seemed only right to post an update given the special occasion. :)
Extra Special Thanks to Puddinhead for beta-reading and enthusiasm!!!
Extra Special Thanks to Puddinhead for beta-reading and enthusiasm!!!
Chapter End Notes:
I know I'm horridly behind in responding to comments. I do love them. :)