Buffy was beyond furious. “How could he take off without as much as a goodbye?” She couldn’t understand it, and why was Dawn smiling? Her hands were balled into fists, and she was shaking with suppressed rage.
Dawn shook her head. “Buffy, relax. He’s back at his hotel.”
The tension suddenly left her body as the girl’s words permeated her brain. She frowned in confusion, her mouth agape. “Why would he write me a letter?”
Dawn laughed at her sister’s expression. “It’s just that we got to talking, and I suggested he write you.”
Buffy looked at her incredulously, but Dawn was unabashed. “Well, you two are never good at expressing what you feel.”
Buffy sighed in relief, grabbing the letter from Dawn. “I can’t believe Spike would listen to you.” She didn’t make to open it though. Instead, she just fingered the writing on the envelope. Buffy looked up at her now taller baby sister.
“Read the letter, Buffy.” Dawn gave her a reassuring smile. “It should set your mind at ease. I rang in to Slayer Central to tell them you weren’t feeling well today and wouldn’t be in.”
“Thanks, you’re the best sister.”
“I’m your only sister.” She plopped down in the chair, winking at Buffy. “Now, I’m heading back to Spike, right where I left him, handcuffed to the bed.”
Buffy was momentarily agog, until she regained her senses. Dawn’s voice rang through gales of laughter.
“Dawn!”
“Well, he is a hottie,” the younger girl said, with a grin, “but unfortunately he only has eyes for you! It is just as well, because he’s like the idiotic big brother I never had.”
“Do you really mean that?” Buffy asked, surprised.
“Absolutely, but don’t tell him, because his head is swollen enough already.”
“Everybody won’t be as happy to see Spike is back as we are.” Buffy was especially thinking of her Watcher. Things had been strained after Giles had planned to kill Spike in Sunnydale.
“Maybe they won’t, but it’s none of their business. It doesn’t matter what Spike, I or anybody else wants. The way you live is down to you. It is your life, and only you can make those decisions.”
“Oh, Dawnie, when did you get so grownup?”
“You don’t remember? That’s funny because I distinctly remember you kicking the First Evil’s ass at the time.”
“Ha, ha.” Buffy rolled her eyes, swatting Dawn’s arm lightly.
After her sister left, Buffy opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. She looked at the elegant handwriting on what was obviously hotel paper. She stared at the name of the hotel on the header while she tried to pluck up the courage to read what Spike had to say. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to read it or not, but eventually curiosity won out.
“Dear Buffy,
I feel like a right ponce writing this, but the Bit insisted it was a good idea.
I have never been good at expressing how I feel. I’m more comfortable with my fists and fangs, and I always say the wrong thing. This is where the letter comes in. Buffy, I love you. I thought about you every day. I’ve really missed you. My feelings never changed, but I did, and I can see that you did too. I wanted to give you a chance to really live, and I wanted to be my own man. I needed to see if I could be the good man you claimed I could be.
I’ve always been love’s bitch, and I’ve spent all my life following the whims of those I loved. (I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not Captain Forehead’s
bitch!) I wanted to make my own way, but it wasn’t to be. I found a place where I was needed.
I know I’ve hurt you, and I regret that. No matter what I do, it seems to end up with me hurting you, and that’s the last thing in the world I want to do.
Love,
Spike”
When Buffy finished the letter, she was left with a number of questions only one person could answer. She would see him soon enough, but she wouldn’t wait for him to come at sunset. She smiled, resolving to go to him.
Later that night, Spike was watching Manchester United get beaten, when there was a knock on the door. It was a welcome reprieve from the torture that was the football game. He was surprised to come face to face with the Slayer.
“Spike, grab your stuff. You’re coming with me.” Buffy was being bossy. He loved it when she was bossy. Sexy bint. He obediently put on his duster and followed her out the door.
“So, where to, love?”
“I want to test a theory,” she replied.
“What theory would that be then?” Spike cocked his head to the side and arched a brow.
Buffy had a mischievous grin on her face. “We are going to go patrolling. I want to see if your reflexes are still reflexy and see what Angel taught you?”
“My reflexes have not gone soft!” Spike began, “And hey, there’s nothing Peaches could teach me.”
The moment he turned to look at Buffy, he knew he had been had. She laughed at his indignant expression. “Race you to the cemetery!”
She sped out the door of the hotel. Spike shook his head in amusement and took after his slayer.
The night flew by. It was just like old times. They still fought seamlessly, knowing instinctively where the other was and anticipating each other’s movements. There weren’t a lot of monsters to slay, so they spent a large part of the night just talking about the parts of each other’s lives they had missed out on, as well as reminiscing about Sunnydale. Buffy didn’t mention the letter, and Spike did not know whether to be relieved or worried. They were dancing around the elephant in the room once more. Spike was reluctant to disturb the strained peace that existed between them at the moment. They had managed to go the whole night without bickering which was probably a record for them. After going two hours without any violence, Spike figured it was time to call it a night. Buffy was obviously thinking the same thing as she turned to him. “I guess I had better go home. I have to work in the morning. Walk me?”
Spike duly obliged. They were both quiet during the walk, but it was a comfortable silence. However, the vampire never did like to stay silent for too long and as they arrived at their destination, he spoke. “Buffy-”
Buffy interrupted him. “Don’t!” She put a finger to his lips.
He took her hand away. He held it though instead. “Don’t what, love?” He raised an inquiring brow.
“Don’t open your big fat mouth and break the spell.” She gently loosened her hand, and they stood there smiling at each other, looking like nervous teenagers. “I think I could do with a drink. Do you want one?”
“Never wanted one more,” Spike replied. He wasn’t talking about the drink. While Buffy went to get them something to drink, Spike threw himself onto the couch. Buffy returned with two glasses of whiskey. Spike was surprised at her choice of drink, considering Buffy had a reputation for being a lightweight when it came to alcohol. He gave her a quizzical look.
“What?” She asked defensively, taking a little sip from her glass. Spike watched her making a face at the taste out of the corner of his eye. He couldn’t help an affectionate grin. After a few quiet moments Buffy spoke.
“Spike I am so glad you are back.” Her voice was shaky. Her eyes were filled with tears as he turned to look at her properly.
“Me too, love,” he replied, pulling her close to him. “I really hate to see you cry.”
She put her head onto his shoulder and relaxed in his embrace. He had started to worry he would never get to be close to her again. Spike closed his eyes. He basked in the familiar scent of her.
Buffy’s eyelids fluttered. “I know I should probably say goodnight and go up to bed, but I’m just so comfortable. Can you stay here with me?”
“Of course, love.” She smiled at him and closed her eyes. It wasn’t long until she was asleep, and he took full advantage of the opportunity to watch her until his own eyes started to close. She’s so beautiful even when she was snoring. That was his last thought before sleep enveloped him as well.
The pair awoke the next morning, limbs entwined on the sofa, to find a superior looking Dawn looking down on them. Both Buffy and Spike jumped with fright. Vampire and Slayer awkwardly extricated themselves from each other. Buffy had a good night’s sleep despite the crick in her neck, but she knew there was a reason why she hadn’t wanted the previous night to end. She couldn’t shake the feeling that things were going to go wrong.
The previous night had been a brief respite in the storm. There was too much to work out and discuss before things between them could be the same between them again. A loud snort interrupted her musings. “You two are just too cute! I wish I had my camera.”
“I am not cute,” Spike protested with horror at the insinuation.
“Yep, you’re the Big Bad, blah blah!” Dawn mocked. “Bed hair looks good on you by the way.”
Spike unconsciously played with the tousled curls that were beginning to show on his head, while Dawn caught her sister’s eye.
“Ignore her Spike. I know I do,” Buffy said, patting the embarrassed vampire on the arm.
Suddenly, there was a familiar piercing yell from the other side of the room. “Spike!”
They turned to look in the direction of the familiar voice and saw Andrew Wells with a big beaming smile on his face.
“Here we go again,” Spike muttered so only Buffy could hear.
“Gandalf the White has returned.” Andrew threw his arms around a reluctant and discomfited Spike, much to the amusement of the two sisters.
“Andrew,” Spike acknowledged.
Buffy’s expression had changed from mirth to resentment, and she turned on Andrew.
“Spike told me you visited him out in LA, and you never bothered to let me know.”
Her eyes narrowed in anger, and the young man quailed at the sight of her righteous fury.
“Hey Slayer, you know I told the boy to keep quiet,” Spike pointed out putting his hand on her arm, but she shook it off.
“Don’t you interfere, Spike. I am stilled pissed at you by the way,” she snapped at the vampire. He held his hands out in surrender while Buffy rounded on Andrew again.
“Don’t ever keep something so important from me again!” She spoke menacingly.
Buffy stormed out of the room leaving silence in her wake.
“She’s not a morning person,” Dawn said drily, finally breaking the silence.
Once Buffy got to the sanctuary of her room she threw herself down on the bed. Andrew’s appearance had finally burst the bubble of the perfect night. She was reminded yet again of the pain of the last year when she had no idea Spike was running around the place with Angel. Despite the truce of the night before, she wasn’t through being angry with Spike. They had a lot to talk about, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready. She was also reminded that she had to go into work today and face Giles and Willow. Buffy was not too worried about Willow’s reaction, but her former Watcher was sure to be furious. Her relationship with Giles since his attempt to get Spike killed had not been the same, but it was a lot better now than it had been the last few days on the Hellmouth. Buffy took a deep breath, pulled off her dirty clothes, and headed for the shower.
To be continued....
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This chapter isn't fully beta'd. Any mistakes are my own. Again, a big thanks to the wonderful Sanity Fair.
Disclaimer: I still don't own anything you recognise except my own work.
Disclaimer: I still don't own anything you recognise except my own work.
Chapter End Notes:
Please let me know your thoughts.