Chapter Seven: Truth will out
At the same time Buffy was arriving at Slayer Central, back at the Summers’ residence Spike and Dawn were deep in conversation.
“So you two looked pretty cosy this morning,” Dawn probed.
“Nothing happened, not that it’s any of your business, you nosy bint,” Spike replied in a light tone.
“I’m worried about her, Spike. She hasn’t been the same since that day.”
Spike met her worried eyes.
“Losing your home and town is bound to do that to you,” he pointed out. “You’re not the same either.”
“It was losing you.” She glared at him, as if daring him to dispute the fact. “You’re just unwilling to accept that because you feel guilty for not letting us know you were back.”
He couldn’t deny the truth of what she said. Still, he had his reasons, even if they were ill advised. He looked her straight in the eye, trying to show her the seriousness of his words.
“I know I should have now, but then I did what I thought was best. I don’t regret wanting the best for my girls.”
Her expression softened a little at that. She stared at him for a moment before she remembered she was mad at him. She glared half-heartedly at him and poked him hard in the chest. “This conversation isn’t over, buddy. You still have a lot of grovelling to do by the way.”
He felt a weight lift at her words. She didn’t seem to be as angry as she probably should. He vowed he would make it up to both of his girls.
He smiled conspiratorially. “How about hot chocolate and those little marshmallow things?”
She took him by the arm. “You betcha. I could with some chocolaty goodness.”
After a very satisfying chocolaty snack, Dawn and Spike were exchanging stories about the things that happened in the time they had been apart. Once they had laughed themselves silly they lapsed into a comfortable silence. He looked at her, realizing how the girl he once knew had become a woman in his absence. How he had missed her. He noticed she was frowning slightly.
“Penny for your thoughts, pet.”
She jumped startled and he chuckled.
“Sorry, I was just wondering how Buffy’s interrogation is going? She was very nervous about it earlier.”
“I told her she could leave it a little longer if she wanted,” Spike confessed.
“Like she would have been able to keep that quiet with Andrew.” Dawn laughed.
“He’s kept the secret pretty well so far.”
Dawn snorted and shook her head in disbelief. “There is no way Andrew would have been able to keep his mouth shut without spilling the beans to somebody, and my money is on Giles.”
Spike was about to protest that surely Giles would not have kept that from Buffy, but when he thought about it Dawn’s assertion seemed likely. When he asked Andrew to keep quiet, he hadn’t really believed he would. Both Giles and he had wanted to do what they felt was best for Buffy. He couldn’t really hold that against him when he had done the same, and he was more at fault.
“That makes sense, Bit,” Spike said finally. “Do you think Buffy knows?”
Dawn shook her head. “I expect she soon will. Either Giles or Andrew will slip. Let’s keep it quiet though in case we’re wrong.”
Buffy finally caught up to Andrew in Giles’ office and was surprised to see that Willow was there as well. Andrew was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. Both Willow and Giles turned to look at Buffy.
Giles had a concerned look upon his face. “Andrew says you have something to tell us?” Buffy took a deep breath in order to gather up the courage to tell them about Spike. She needn’t have bothered though.
“Spike is back and living in Buffy’s house,” Andrew announced in a rush.
The young man had a wide grin on his face, and Buffy gave him a hard stare.
“Good heavens! Spike is here!” Giles exclaimed, and just as Buffy predicted he took off his glasses and polished them furiously.
“Wow, Spike back from the dead! How?” Willow demanded.
“Two nights ago, Spike turned up on my doorstep,” Buffy began. “It turns out he was brought back due to the amulet that Angel brought us from LA. There’s a lot more to it, obviously.”
“Do you think Spike would be amenable to telling me a little about his experiences?” Giles asked.
“I guess you would have to ask him yourself,” Buffy replied. She gave them the condensed version of Spike’s story. The story was not hers to tell after all.
“Good Lord,” Giles muttered finally when she finished.
Willow threw her arms around Buffy and both women’s eyes were wet. They held each other for a few moments. Giles coughed politely. The women pulled apart much to Giles’ relief. He was always ill at ease with emotional displays.
“And Spike’s living in your house now?” Willow finally asked when she had composed herself.
Buffy rolled her eyes and glowered at Andrew again. “Spike is not living in my house.”
“He stayed there last night,” Andrew said petulantly.
Giles started cleaning his glasses again. He caught Willow’s eye, and they exchanged a worried glance.
“Buffy are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Spike and I are not sleeping together. We just fell asleep together. I mean it was completely innocent.”
“She doth protest too much.”
The idiot was smirking, and she really wanted to slap that look off his face. “You will get out, and go annoy somebody else, someplace else!”
“Giles,” he whined.
“Andrew, just go.” Giles said impatiently. Andrew huffed but obeyed the older man.
Buffy waited until she heard his furious steps could no longer be heard. “I don’t know what is going to happen with Spike and me,” Buffy said honestly. “All I know is that I want him to be part of my life.”
Willow bit her lip nervously. “You know I’m glad he’s back Buffy, but your relationship was never healthy.”
“It wasn’t even a relationship.” Buffy laughed hollowly.
“Exactly –” Giles began.
Buffy held her hand up to cut him short. “I’m no longer a child. I’m an adult who can make her own decisions. I appreciate your concern, but any decision regarding my future can only be made by me.”
Giles looked sadly at the girl that was practically a daughter to him. She hated the look, part fear and part disappointment, and she really didn’t want to have to defend her choices anymore. She was a grown up after all. She decided she had to leave sooner rather than later before she lost her temper.
She looked at her watch finding the perfect excuse. “I’m supposed to have a training class.”
“I’ll walk with you.” Willow took her arm.
“He means well you know, and we’re just worried about you,” Willow continued, as soon as they were clear of Giles’ hearing.
Buffy smiled reassuringly at her worried friend.
“I know Wills but –”
“You love Spike,” Willow said with certain understanding.
“I think so,” Buffy whispered, and Willow squeezed her hand.
“Be careful,” Willow said. Buffy’s felt a sense of relief knowing at least one of her friends accepted it, and it meant a lot.
After Buffy was done for the day, she decided to head and see Giles once again. She hated fighting with him. As she neared the office, she could hear the sound of voices coming from within. She was about to walk away when she heard Andrew’s voice.
It’s only Andrew so it can’t be anything very important.
She raised her hand to knock on the door when something Andrew said caused her to gasp.
“Buffy’s angry at me, and it’s not fair, Giles,” Andrew griped. “After all you knew about Spike being back too.”
“You can rest assured that Buffy is angry at me already,” Giles said irritatedly.
Buffy felt betrayed. It was bad enough for Spike not to tell her. Somehow for Giles to actively keep it from her was worse. She flung open the door. The handle came off in her hand because of her tight grip. The two men looked at the Slayer in shock.
“Yes, I was already angry with you,” she said addressing Giles. “Now, I’m furious.”
She turned to Andrew and he whimpered before she could say a word and fled out the door. She faced her old Watcher again.
“How could you not tell me?” Buffy asked coldly.
“It was Spike’s decision. He asked Andrew not to tell you, and when he told me of Spike’s return I decided to honour his wishes.”
“Since when have you ever worried about Spike’s wishes?” Buffy scoffed.
“You are right Buffy,” he conceded. “Nevertheless, you should remember I only did what I felt was in your interest in keeping this from you, and if Spike had chosen before now to reveal his return I wouldn’t have done anything to prevent it.”
“Don’t make me choose between you? I chose him once, and I would do it again.”
“I know,” he said gently. “I’m not asking you to choose between us. I want you to think carefully before you get involved with him again. You managed to get by well enough these past months without him and he survived without you all this time too.”
Giles’ words were like a knife in her heart. She clenched her fists tightly. “I already told you once today that I want him to be part of my life. It took losing him to see just how important he is to me.”
“Buffy, I am truly sorry for hurting you. I only wanted the best for you.”
“I can understand why he did what he did,” she said quietly. “I may be good at keeping my feelings locked away, but you could see I was hurting and you knew why. You knew he was back, and yet you never said a word.”
Buffy could feel the tears threatening to come and do she turned and ran out the door.
“Buffy,” she vaguely heard Giles calling. She ignored him and dashed through the building. All in her path quickly scampered out of her way and soon she was out the door of the building. She stopped for a minute by the tree at the entrance to catch her breath and compose herself. Tears were still threatening to fall and so the Slayer took off at full speed yet again. This time she did not stop until she arrived at her front door, and when she opened the door she walked straight into a hard chest. Spike took the distraught woman into his arms. It was only then that Buffy let herself go and really cried.
To be continued...
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Discaimer: Wish BTVS was mine but it isn't.