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Hands reached across the bed unconsciously in a desperate need to touch the others skin, to form the physical connection they both craved. Both were still locked in their separate dreams, eyes fluttering behind closed lids, but able to feel the distress and pain rolling off of each other through their newly formed bond.

Buffy tensed and tried to shy away from her mate upon his first touch as his body moved closer to press flush against hers. His hands trailed down one thigh before his cool lips pressed themselves against her skin causing her eyes to slowly open and close just as quickly, still half lost in her dreams.

"What have you done to me?"

His words were murmured into her neck as Spike pushed his hips against the curve of her backside. Buffy pushed back against him and whimpered in her sleep at the feel of her mate's arousal. Spike, knowing what they both needed reached down between them and pushed her thighs apart, bending one leg back over his hips. Ever so slowly he slid into her, Buffy murmuring nonsensical words into the darkness.

At his second thrust into her warmth something sparked between them and suddenly their eyes snapped open, dreams finished. The trance-like state they had both been in fell away and they were awake once more. Spike slipped from her body and rolled them until he was once again above her, sliding himself into her welcoming heat.

Hips rocking together, he lent down and slowly lapped at the marks he had made on her neck.

Buffy had tears in her eyes and couldn't help the sob that escaped her as images from the dreams and memories she had just experienced while in Spike's body flooded her mind. She had seen so many sides to him in those shared memories and hadn't liked any of what she had witnessed.

The things he had done.

The people he had killed.

The woman he professed to loved.

Drusilla.

"You're mine now." It was as if he had read her thoughts as Buffy suddenly found it hard to breathe, Spike's blue cerulean eyes staring down at her with such intensity that she froze beneath him. She could feel him, feel his worry and his distress. She felt his pain and sorrow towards her at having to witness his past and watched as his eyes softened and his voice whispered down to her. "Never let anything happen to you."

Buffy didn't want to feel anything for the creature that lay nestled inside her. The creature who was so capable of killing without a second thought.

A vampire. A monster.

Spike could snap her neck at any moment and yet she felt herself shudder at the mere thought of him ever hurting her. Of him ever leaving her.

"W-what have you done to me?"

She fought so hard against the feelings that were welling inside her, tears forming and slipping from her eyes as his body rocked with hers. She didn't want him or his touch anywhere near her in that moment. Suddenly it was all too much and with a sudden show of force Buffy pushed Spike from her body and rolled from the bed, pulling the sheet with her as she stood. On shaky legs she walked to the large doors that led to the balcony and took a deep breath as the crisp night air met her.

"Buffy-"

"Don't!"

Buffy tensed when she felt Spike take a step towards her, clutching the sheet tight to her chest and wiping away at the tears that slipped freely down onto her cheeks.

"Please don't."

She could feel Spike's worry as much as he felt her distress, neither knowing the right move to make next, but both knowing that they needed the other.

" 'M guessing you had a few dreams of your own then, luv." Spike sat on the end of the bed, dragging a sheet across his naked hips.

"Don't call me that!"

"Buffy-"

"How could you do it?" Buffy spun to face him, tear filled and angry eyes meeting his. "How could you kill all those people?" She paused, voice dropping. "You enjoyed it." The horrified whisper had Spike looking down. "They had family's and children! And you just-" Buffy ran a shaky hand through her hair, her gaze dropping to the ground as she whispered, her thoughts racing through one memory to the next. "How could you love someone like that? What she did to me-"

"Buffy, I-"

"I don't want your pity!" Buffy shouted, eyes wide and tears falling, heart racing.

"She's my sire-"

"She's a monster!" She wiped angrily at the tears that still fell. "You are all monsters."

Standing in the open doorway to the balcony had goosebumps rising across her skin. Spike moved to stand, sheet bunched together in one fist as he gripped it at his waist.

"Luv, it's not like that. I would never-" He took an unnecessary breath, stepping closer. "What they did to you-"

"I didn't ask for any of this!" Buffy jumped when she finally looked up, eyes wide when she noticed that he had moved closer to her. "Oh God." She ran a hand through her hair and stared at the rumpled bed and the pillows that had been tossed around the room, sheets spilling onto the floor. "What have we done? I-It's not natural. I don't know what I feel anymore. I shouldn't feel like this!"

Buffy was shaking by the time Spike reached her, standing in front of her with concern in his eyes.

"Luv-"

"There still feels like there's something inside me and I can't control it. I can't-" Her hands were shaking as she tearfully grabbed at her own chest.

"Buffy calm down."

"Make it stop. Make it stop!"

She was on the verge of having a panic attack with the way she was heavily breathing, body shaking and skin as white as a ghost.

"What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, luv."

Spike grabbed the hand that was scratching at her chest and entwined their fingers. The contact seemed to calm Buffy down so Spike slowly took a step closer, pulling her body against his own. With one hand still bunching the sheet at his hip and hers still clutching her sheet to her chest he walked them backwards and inside the room where it was warmer.

When Spike felt the mattress against the back of his legs he met her gaze and was entranced. Gold flickering eyes met his and he sat back in awe.

His golden goddess was staring intently back at him, her eyes almost sparkling.

Buffy's breathing had returned to normal, but now he was feeling something else through their bond. Something desperate coupled with a sense of belonging. Power.

Eyes never leaving his, Buffy tilted her head to the side as she pulled her lower lip under her teeth, their hands still entwined. She let the sheet she was holding up fall to the floor, eyes closing and letting out a few heavy breaths as Spike's eyes raked over her body. Slowly, one thigh was placed astride each of his until she was sitting in his lap.

Buffy lead their entwined hands to her back where Spike took over, running his fingers down the scars that marred her skin. She didn't know what had possessed her to move in such a way, but knew that she craved physical contact from her mate. Spike would ease her pain. Buffy lifted herself up and reached between them to place Spike's member at her entrance, something deeper inside her knowing what she needed most and taking over control.

Spike let out a low growl as Buffy slowly lowered herself, head thrown back in contentment. Spike grabbed hold of her bottom and thrust upward making her gasp. She squeezed her inner muscles and his demon burst forth, pure pleasure on his face as she swayed her hips against his. Buffy's hand traced his demonic features, the other on his chest as she moved to his lips and cut herself on one fang.

"You're mine now."

She repeated his words before letting the blood drop from her finger onto his chest. Spike grabbed her wrist and brought the dripping finger to his mouth, yellow eyes meeting her flickering gold gaze as he sucked the bleeding digit. Buffy let out a moan and again squeezed her inner muscles around his thick member. Spike growled again, sending tingles through her body as his hands adjusted their grip and helped lift her up and down until she was bouncing away.

The candles still softly glowed in the room and Spike thought that in that moment, as Buffy's tangled golden hair shone under it's glow that it was as if she was standing under pure sunlight. Her hands left his chest and came to play with her own breasts, fingers flicking at her nipples and giving Spike a rather nice view. He traced his hands up her back, readjusting, and then flipping them over until she was once again underneath him.

Spike slowed his thrusts to lavish Buffy's breasts with kisses, but his mate was having none of that.

Buffy wanted more.

I need more.

She needed more.

Buffy's body had taken over, a hunger deep inside her craving something that only Spike could give her. She was in a dream, her body feeling things that weren't her own. Movements and sounds coming from her that she had no control over and when Spike growled deep and low like he was, something took over. She rolled and pushed her mate back down against the mattress and then rose to all fours, turning so that she faced the other way, sending a seductive smile over her shoulder.

Spike needed no other invitation and plunged into her from behind. Buffy let out a gasp and a shout at the new sensation. Harder and faster was what she wanted and as if her mate was reading her mind he delivered just that. Before she could move her hand to her sex, Spike slipped his own down between them, splaying his fingers across her stomach before dipping lower to her sex and playing with her clit. Buffy felt her body tightening as signs of her oncoming release rushed through her.

Spike pushed her thighs further apart and pistoned his hips, rubbing her quim with fever right before he pulled her upright, her back flush with his chest.

"Christ you're gorgeous."

And all mine.

Spike bit down on his mark and they both came undone together. They collapsed on the bed, spent. Buffy curled herself up in his arms as they lie side by side, Spike's hand cradling her head while the other splayed across her stomach.

Buffy had a small smile on her face as she shifted closer and let out a content sigh, the hand on her stomach intertwined with her own. She felt peace is his arms, the feel of him surrounding her washing away any thoughts of the dreams she'd had earlier.

Spike couldn't put his thoughts together, his feelings all jumbled. His mate lie in his arms, drifting off into a peaceful sleep and yet he was confused. Buffy still looked like Buffy, but then at times during their coupling she was not herself. She had been so close to having a panic attack earlier and then as soon as he'd touched her, her eyes had flickered gold and something had taken over her. Something he had never felt or witnessed before. Something strong, powerful.

Something primal.

Spike closed his eye's and let himself feel everything Buffy felt, hoping to catch a glimpse into the strength that lie dormant deep within her.

His mate felt sated and content.

Safe.

"What have you done to me?" He whispered into the darkness once again.


Chapter End Notes:
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