Disclaimer and Notes: see Prologue
Spike’s brain
by Belladonna
~Chapter 10~
In any other shell
Downstairs in the Summers’ home the discussion had once again come to a moot point. All they had was the knowledge that Spike was somewhere with the Nerds. They knew they had to defeat those idiots as soon as possible to make place for a real villain and not just those wannabe’s. At some point of that discussion someone had brought up the little fact of time, Buffy didn’t quite remember who that exactly was, but it sure hadn’t eased her worries. If only, it had increased them tenfold. She had no idea how long it had been that Spike had eaten, but then Angel had also agreed that the longer Spike was gone the greater the risk of him starving, since he was sure that those little geeks would not feed him properly, if they thought about it at all. On top of that, Angel had started pacing after he saw the stricken look on Buffy’s face at that revelation. Currently he was running a huge hole into the carpet.
“Was that a baby?” Buffy suddenly asked loud when the wail of a small child from somewhere upstairs interrupted her trail of thoughts.
“Oh, Connor must be a bit hungry.” Cordy told her and went up to go to the little one but Willow interrupted her, seeing the confused and also a bit shocked look on Buffy’s face.
“I’ll go. I guess that’s something that hasn’t come up yet, hm?” And with that the redhead ws off to the stairs.
“What hasn’t come up yet?” Buffy asked curiously, still not understanding but from the expressions on the faces of the others she knew that she must’ve been the only one not knowing.
“Now this is one, I wouldn’t want to miss.” Cordelia whispered to Fred. “Now watch and find out what we’ve missed earlier.”
“Angel?” Buffy asked tentatively, having almost immediately recognized him as the one with the answer since he sure looked the most guilty of all of them. And she definitely didn’t like the suspicions she had at that. “What is with that baby?”
“Uh, shouldn’t we rather think of a way to find Spike?” Angel asked her, silently pleading for the others to help him out there. He wasn’t quite sure just how exactly he should explain Buffy Connor’s existence. But the grins on all of their faces proved him that this time he was alone on that one.
“Why do I have a crying baby upstairs in this house?” Buffy wanted to know. Angel still wouldn’t meet her eyes when he silently muttered his response.
“He’s ours.”
“Can you repeat that please?” Buffy asked, barely have heard him at all and wasn’t sure she wanted to believe what she’d heard.
“He’s ours.” Angel repeated, this time a bit louder and Buffy’s resolve faltered.
“He’s what?” Buffy was stunned. “This is a joke, right?” The baby decided to cry once more between her talk. “You all decided getting a baby together? Wouldn’t it be better having gotten a dog or so?”
“Connor’s not a pet!” Angel was enraged right now. How dare she compare his son with an animal!
“So, who is he then?” Buffy wanted to know and her glare told him to better answer that one or else.
“Connor is my son.”
“Huh?”
***
Willow had gone to check on the little one upstairs when she heard Dawn’s voice beckoning her to come into Buffy’s room.
“Dawnie?” She asked curiously. “What is it? I just wanted to check on Connor, he’s…”
“Yeah, he’s crying, so we’ve heard.” Dawn told her directly and Willow frowned.
“Who’s we?” She wondered, but didn’t need to wait long for an explanation.
“We as in Spike and me.” Dawn said, grinning suddenly like mad.
“What are you smiling at?” Willow now truly was confused and she didn’t have much time to really grasp the fact that the vampire wasn’t gone like Buffy had feared and again she wasn’t kept long in the dark on that one either. “If you don’t stop that your grin will be stuck that way forever.”
“I guess she’s doing it at my expense.” Spike’s voice quipped up from nowhere which made Dawn break out giggling once more.
“Stop that, you’re going to choke sometime soon.” Spike chided the teen and all Willow could do was stare. At least Dawn tried to comply, she really did.
“What is going on here?” Willow demanded after a while, then the baby started crying again and she sighed. “Alright, stay here, I’ll go check on Connor and then you’ll explain to me what is so funny and where is Spike anyway?”
“He…” Dawn couldn’t answer for the whole load of giggles coming up. Willow rolled her eyes and left the room.
A short while later, Willow returned with a smile of her own.
“He just wanted to have some attention.” She told them meaning the baby this time but got serious again. “So, what’s that about Spike? Where are you? Did you know that Buffy’s worried sick about you and that she thinks you’re dead?”
“Heard that one already.” Spike replied solemnly. “And there’s nothing I can do to change the being dead part. Also I’m effectively stuck here. And Dawn…”he put an extra emphasis on that “…wouldn’t even tell me where I’m stuck this time. I can’t bloody see anything!”
“How could you drive Buffy to L.A. in your car then?” Willow asked confused and Spike sighed audibly.
“I’m a vampire, not a scientist, pet. How am I to know?”
“Well, then Dawnie, why don’t you just tell me where Spike is…” Willow started but got interrupted by Spike again.
“See, that’s the problem. Every time I asked her that, she’s getting hysterical fits. Wouldn’t want her to forget breathing sometime between.” The bodiless voice of Spike told her.
“But where are you?” Willow repeated totally clueless.
“I don’t know! Didn’t you get the memo the first time?” Spike surely would loose his patience in no time if that went on that way.
“He’s here.” Dawn managed to say, thrusting one of Buffy’s stuffed animals right in front of Willow’s face.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Willow laughed.
“Not you too!” Spike groaned miserably. “And I can’t see anything. I hope I’m not in some bloody dress-up Ken doll or something.”
“No, definitely not. But we have to do something about the not seeing part, because I just can’t tell you either where you are.” Willow told him earnestly, holding the stuffed animal in her hands. This was just too damn funny a chance to miss it for him finding out himself.
“Okay.” Spike gave in, clearly defeated. “Isn’t there something you can do about me not seeing to make me see?”
“Well, we could attach some more electrics to you. Maybe that’ll help, though I have no idea how that will work, but with the television it worked fine, so.” Willow gave it a serious thought, though remaining serious with Spike residing inside Buffy’s favourite stuffed animal in her hands was pretty hard. “I hadn’t even known that there were some electronics inside…ehm, where you are now. Still, I have no clue where to get some of that. The Nerds would have that equipment in their lair or in their shrine of geekdom with all their Sci-Fi memorabilias I’ve seen when I was there last time. But they aren’t there anymore, we checked that place first.”
“Ehm, I might be able to help you out on that one.” Spike’s voice told her, sounding really shy and insecure about trusting her with what he was about to reveal. Willow recognized that tone in his voice and ushered Dawn out of the room. If Spike truly was that insecure about telling her, he sure wouldn’t want Dawn hearing it too.
“Why don’t you go downstairs and tell Buffy that Spike’s okay.” She told the teen gently. “She’ll be relieved to hear that.”
When Dawn was gone, she turned around again to where she had sat down the stuffed animal.
“She’s gone, what was that you wanted to tell me, Spike?” Willow asked him. “I won’t tell anyone, promise.”
The stuffed animal continued to remain silent for a while, and Willow was about to speak again, reminding him to begin before Buffy would come up when he started.
“This is…I don’t know how to put it. It’s not something I’d like you guys to find out or anyone else for that matter.” Willow was sure he’d be turning beet red would he still have been human and having a body.
“If it’s about that sword collection in your crypt, we already know about that.”
“You do?” Spike was stunned. And Harris didn’t even come gloating about it.
“Anya found and told us about it.” Willow explained, but then a thought struck her. “You didn’t steal those from Giles, did you?”
“What? No!” Spike denied vehemently. “Why would you think I’d steal from him? No, what I was trying to tell you is that downstairs, in my crypt, there’s a glass head with some eye pieces on it. They are electrical, so they could maybe work with wherever I am. And why don’t you want to tell me where I am?”
“Eye pieces?” Willow was more confused than ever. That was it what Spike was so afraid of anyone else finding out? “That can’t be it. Just because there are some eye pieces down in your crypt doesn’t that mean that you are hiding something sinister down there like you made me think you would. I thought there was some really sinister thing coming up like you’ve started eating people again, which you haven’t, right?”
“No, why would I do that?” Spike’s voice asked her instead, still sounding a lot insecure about having revealed his secret to Willow.
“Never mind. You almost acted like Xander, well sounded like him, when he told me first about his comic book obsession and the collection of action figures he had in his room and was too afraid I’d laugh like all the others.” Willow said slowly, starting to suspect the truth.
Spike remained silent.
“It’s not something like that, isn’t it?” Willow asked him after he continued to be quiet. When he still refused to say anything, something clicked inside her mind.
“Those eye pieces wouldn’t have something to do with those they have on that show on television with that spaceship and the funny looking aliens?”
“If you must know, yes.” Spike replied finally, waiting for her to start laughing like he’d expected from everyone else. When she didn’t, he had to admit being a bit confused. “Why are you not laughing?”
“You thought I’d laugh at that?” Now it was Willow’s turn to be dumbfounded at that. “You confided in me with that, which by the way you actually didn’t yet, and now you expect me to laugh at you?”
“Well….yeah.” Spike silently admitted. “But if you tell anyone, and I mean anyone especially the others that I told you about me being a Trekkie, I’ll make your life really miserable. I’ll do that …”
“Sheesh, don’t make such a fuss about it.” Willow chided him. “Besides, you couldn’t hurt me anyways. I’d never laugh at you, Spike. I mean you’re still an evil vampire and all that, well, not so evil anymore but laughing at you because of that would be cruel of me. So, you think those things from your crypt will help you out, right? I’ll go get them for you. I still don’t understand why you consider this something sinister for anyone else to know.”
“You know what Harris would do if he found out?” Spike returned grumpily.
“I know, be glad he only went through your drawers when we’ve looked for you in your crypt.” Willow grinned evilly.
“Bloody Hell!!
***
“Your son?” Buffy repeated stunned after a while. The rest of the Scoobies hadn’t said anything at all which made her realize that she’d been the only one who had not known about that. “How…?”
“This is something we also are still trying to research on.” Wesley supplied helpfully. “But his birth seems to have been predicted in several prophecies, of which we’ve been able to obtain one of the more prominent ones.”
“But I thought vampires couldn’t…you know.” Buffy said, still trying to shake off the initial surprise at that revelation. It was strong enough to make her forget for the moment all her concerns about Spike. How could she to know what was coming next?
“That’s what we thought too. But it seems that this is tied to that prophecy.” Angel told her softly. “It’s a miracle actually, one I’m grateful for. And he’s completely human.”
“Why shouldn’t he be…who’s his mother then?” Buffy was trying to grasp the fact about Angel having a child, a real one, not a vampire-human hybrid or something like that.
“Darla.” Angel said so silently, she almost didn’t hear it. From the surprised gasps and the turmoil that started after that revelation she could tell that this part was something the other Scoobies apparently hadn’t known as well.
“You slept with Darla?” Buffy asked. No, she couldn’t say that this was something she’d expected.
“It was a difficult time and…” Angel stammered, shooting helpless glances towards the rest of the L.A. gang knowing full well that the only thing he’d see on their faces would be their broad grins and a look that said “Look how you’ll get out of this one by yourself.”. “…and I wasn’t myself then and…”
“You slept with Darla!” Buffy’s voice had gotten noticeably louder as had her face turned redder with anger. “How could you do that?”
“Well, it’s simple actually and shouldn’t you know about that already?” Anya supplied helpfully. “I mean you must have done that before too…”
Willow chose that moment to come down again, carrying Connor in her arms and thus sparing Angel any answer she was sure he didn’t have and right in time to see Buffy turning quite red at Anya’s ‘helpful’ comment. She handed the baby over to Cordelia.
“Uh, I have to go get some things.” She hastily told them. “I’ll be right back.”
“Do you want to meet Connor, Buffy?” Cordy asked, carefully stepping between the two once-lovers. “Isn’t he the cutest little baby you’ve ever seen?”
Well, Buffy had to admit that he indeed was cute and she could even see the resemblance with Angel. Still…
“And you were mad at me about dancing with Spike in that video??!!!”
***
Willow had returned soon again and she still grinned. No, she had promised not to laugh at him, Spike had after all confided in her so she owed him, sort of. Brushing past the others who were in the living room, now cooing at the baby, Willow assumed that she’d missed the big bang. It didn’t matter since there was another one to come soon, so she went directly upstairs to get Spike. And if she couldn’t have been there when Buffy had found out about Connor and exploded, at least she could have the fun of seeing Spike when he found out where he was effectively stuck until they found his body. She pulled out the eye piece she’d gotten from Spike’s crypt and went to work. If she were honest to herself, she had in fact really laughed at first, when she’d seen the lower level of his crypt. There was this whole collection of swords and stuff hanging at the wall with strange writings on them she recognized seeing at Xander’s at some time. But then she remembered also that she’d promised him and gotten some of the stuff from the table. Now she was sitting again on Buffy’s bed and finished her work on the stuffed animal, readying if for the first test. She hadn’t even known that this particular one had some electronics inside at all.
“I’m finished, Spike.” She told him softly. “Do you see anything now?”
A bit blurry, but shortly the picture cleared itself and Spike found himself looking up towards Willow.
“I can see you.” He announced happily. “Not quite excellent picture quality, but at least in living colours.” Willow was sure to hear him smirking underneath all that fluffyness he was holed up in. Wonder if he was still smiling if he knew, Willow thought; her evil grin firmly on her lips as she took him towards the mirror.
Spike knew the instant he saw her grinning that something wasn’t right, in fact seriously wrong and he had the growing suspicion that it had something to do with where he was now in. But he wasn’t sure until she held him directly in front of the mirror.
“NO WAY!!!!!”
***
They were right back where they had started. Buffy sat at one end of the couch and Angel on the other. Only this time there were a bit more people there with them in the room and sitting between them. And like before silence had settled over the living room, the only sound to be heard were the fussing noises coming from the baby and of course a really loud shriek from upstairs.
“What was that?” Angel asked confused. It had sounded a lot like Spike, but that couldn’t be, could it? Dawn started to giggle hysterically which of course did nothing to clear that confusion up.
“Don’t forget to breathe, Dawnie.” Xander told her when she turned red from laughing so hard. “Why are you laughing anyways?”
“Hehe….snort…..ahem, nothing.” Dawn replied, barely suppressing her giggles. “But Willow’s upstairs and I think there’s something you really should see, Buffy.”
“It’s not something Connor did on my bed, is it?” Buffy’s eyes widened at that and Dawn frantically shook her head.
“No, nothing like that.” She assured her sister. “It’s just, you really need to see that and Willow will explain everything to you. I think she can do that better than me.” With the extra emphasis on really, Buffy had gotten curious she had to admit and it strayed her thoughts and worries away from Spike.
Reluctantly Buffy made her way upstairs, not quite sure what to expect. And she sure as hell didn’t expect Willow sitting in her room, on her bed and talking to her favourite stuffed animal. What was that strange looking stuff on its head anyways?
“Willow?” Buffy had gotten even more confused at that sight. “Dawn told me you had something to show me and what are you doing in my room on my bed with Mr. Gordo??”
“At least now I know where I’m in.” Another voice quipped up before Willow had a chance of answering that, the pout audible in it. “That doesn’t change the fact that I’m still mad about you two not telling me before.”
“We didn’t want to spoil the surprise for you.” Willow patted the little stuffed piggy on the back. “Besides, that way it was more fun.”
“Yeah, more fun for you.” There was that pout again and Buffy lost it.
“What the hell is going on!” She demanded loudly and then a more silent “Spike?”
“Alive and accounted for.” The vampire replied. “Well, not quite alive but you get the meaning, right pet?”
“Spike?” Buffy repeated tentatively and sat down on the bed. She bit back a sob. “I thought I’d lost you forever.”
“I’ll never leave you, luv.” Spike assured her soothingly and not for the first time during this strange experience he wished for him being in his own body back. That way he would be able to hold her and comfort her the way she deserved.
“But why are you here?” Buffy still was confused, in her mind replaying the earlier event that could’ve caused her to loose Spike like she thought. “When you suddenly disappeared from the screen when the lights went out, that was just…”
“Hey, don’t cry now.” Spike now really ached for comforting Buffy the way he saw Willow doing it. The redhead was rubbing soothing circles at Buffy’s lower back and was just there for her. “I didn’t mean to put that a scare on you, pet. It’s just, I was surprised too at that and then there was nothing at all until I woke up here.”
“Oh, Spike!” Buffy cried out and clutched the pet to her chest. “Never leave me like this again!”
“Never, luv.” Spike replied. “I promise.”
“Good.” Buffy collected herself a bit and then held the stuffed animal in front of her. “Never scare me like this ever!”
“No.” Spike assured her but and smiled, though she couldn’t see that part. “Wouldn’t have thought you’d be that sappy about me gone missing.”
“And I’ll never be that again.” Buffy scowled at him but inside her she knew he only did that to make her feel better. She turned to face Willow again. “What was it that you wanted to tell me?”
“Erm, since you already found out about Spike here.” She grinned again and could’ve sworn that the stuffed pig shot her a dirty look through that eye piece. “He seems to be stuck inside Mr.Gordo and I had to attach those thingies to him so that he can see us now. We really need to find his body fast and find out how those idiots have done this to him since I have no idea how to get him back in again.” At that last part she had covered the stuffed pig with her hands, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to hear it.
Spike had heard her clearly though, but remained silent, not wanting them to know or get worried again. In the meantime it was his turn to truly get worried a lot especially when he remembered the last time he had eaten and that had been quite a while ago. If Buffy didn’t find his body soon, maybe there wouldn’t be anything left for him to go back into.
“So, I’ll go get downstairs and help a bit on the figuring out a plan part.” Willow chirped and got up to leave. “I’ll leave you two alone for a moment, I’m sure you’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
“Wills, it’s not like we haven’t seen us in years or so.” Buffy started to protest, but then relaxed a bit. “Alright, it’s not like we can do much during the day when these Nerds sure have Spike stashed away somewhere dark. I’ll be down again later.”
After Willow had left, Buffy relaxed against the headboard of the bed, still clutching Spike to her and unconsciously petting the stuffed animal he resided in for the moment.
“You know, I’ve always wanted to be with you together here.” Spike piped up. “Like this, just being together and all that.” Like it’s supposed to be in a normal relationship, he mentally added but refrained from saying that part out loud. But then, normal wasn’t what both of them had or would ever have.
“Well, it is something new.” Buffy had to admit and if she were completely honest, it wasn’t something she wouldn’t want to repeat after they’d found his body and returned him to it. “So, did you and Dawn have some fun before Willow found you?”
“Yeah, and I’m not sure I’d call that fun.” Spike complained. “She bloody tortured me with not telling where I was!”
“Sure that must’ve been some torture.” Buffy smiled down to him. “But at least you’re now in the Slayer’s bed.”
“Right, what a lovely reward that is when I’m stuck in here!!” Spike growled sarcastically, but somehow it wasn’t the same when it came from the fluffy animal and Buffy smiled even broader.
“Oh, and you don’t even know the whole truth yet.” Her smile darkened at that a bit, just remembering what exactly that truth also enclosed.
“What is it, pet?” Spike asked concerned, having immediately noticed the change in her. “Is it about the baby?”
“Yeah, how do you know about the baby?” Buffy told him, having gotten once more a remainder of what she’d never have.
“Heard it in the room next door.” Spike admitted to her. “Don’t be sad about it, luv. One day you’ll have one too and you’re going to be a wonderful mum to him or her. I just know you will.”
“Oh, Spike, how can you be so sure about that? A Slayer’s life isn’t exactly meant to have children in it.” Buffy said, still smiling sadly down towards him. “And you can’t make them either.”
That shocked Spike a bit. Truth being told, it shocked him more than that bit. Did she really say that right now? That she wanted children with him? He’d expected her being sad about not getting some because of her being the Slayer and all and at first he’d been a bit disappointed to have been right when she mentioned it. But then hearing her admitting to have thought of a family with him…now he even more was really frustrated about not having his body. He would’ve given everything right now to take her in his arms. Hearing this had made him the happiest man alive…erm undead.
“But Buffy, don’t worry about that right now.” He tried to soothe her and give comfort the way he was able to at the moment. “There’s plenty of ways to get that to work out for us. That is, if you really want that someday.” He left out the part where he remained insecure about her still wanting them to have children together that day. It made him sad too and he tried to change the subject. “So who’s little one is it? The cheerleader’s?”
“No, and you won’t believe me this, but it’s Angel’s son.” Buffy said waiting for the reaction from Spike. She wouldn’t have to wait long for that one.
“He’s whose son???”
“Angel’s.” Buffy told him. “And before you say it, I know that vampires can’t father children but it’s complicated. And there’s a prophecy involved.”
“Bloody hell!” Spike swore. He was truly mad now. “I’m gonna kill him!” Not only that Angel had left Buffy’s heart broken and him so much mistrust to overcome before she’d finally admitted that she felt something at all for him, no, he had to come back with a children, proof of what she could never have and he had received against all rules. Plus he really, really hated that guy, especially now.
“No, it’s okay.” Buffy told him. “I was mad at first when I heard it, but it’s okay now. I guess it wasn’t meant to be otherwise. His name is Connor, if you want to know.”
“Bloody typical for Peaches, picking out a name like that.” Spike said, knowing full well that she wasn’t really over it. He also knew she’d never admit that right now so he let it rest for the moment. He too let the topic pass about asking who the mother of the child would be, maybe she’d tell him later. He decided to cheer her up a bit once more. “So, pet. When you thought you’d lost me, that was really nice holding me to your chest that way. I even had a nice view down your cleavage. Which I still have through your clothes thanks to modern technology, you should be thinking about taking off that bra, the color really clashes with the top.”
“Spike you’re a pig!” Buffy told him, slapping the stuffed animal playfully and laughing.
“Yeah, what gave me away this time, Slayer?”
***
Later Buffy came down again, this time taking the stuffed pig with her. She wanted to show Connor to Spike and when they entered the living room, Angel was currently giving the infant his bottle.
“Now that’s something I’d never thought to see.” Spike grinned behind all that pinkish fluffiness of Mr:Gordo.
“Shut up!” Buffy hissed silently, smiling in greeting the others.
“Buffy.” Angel greeted her, noticing the fluffed thing in her hand and recognizing it as her favourite stuffed pet. “I was just giving Connor his bottle so that he can have his afternoon nap.”
“Uh, yeah, right.” Buffy stammered, clutching the pig in her hands even tighter. Spike noticed as did the others. She walked over to the couch and sat down on it, the pig in her lap and she was absently petting it again. When Angel was finished, he took Connor upstairs again and Willow leaned over towards her best friend.
“Why did you bring him down here?” She whispered. “What if Angel finds out, he’ll freak!”
“He won’t notice a thing, besides Spike was lonely up there and since Angel will never suspect anything, it was safe.” She left unsaid, that she needed his comforting presence to deal with the whole baby thing.
“Hey Buffster, what’s that on his head?” Xander asked curiously, examining the pig more closely and immediately recognizing those eye pieces that covered almost half of the stuffed animals face. “Never figured you for the Trekkie type. What’s with the Borg attire for Mr.Gordo?”
“Well, this is Spike-utus, a pig. And if you’re not careful he’ll assimilate you.” She told him, before Spike could growl towards the boy and held the object in question directly in front of him, repeating what Spike had joked with her earlier.
Xander’s eyes widened, when he saw the lights of the eye piece blinking as Spike zoomed in on him and realized the hidden message in Buffy’s words.
“This is…ouch.” He yelped when Willow elbowed him in the ribs, gesturing towards the returning Angel and the rest of the L.A. gang. “What was that for and…oh, brought the kid upstairs to sleep, Angel?”
“Yes.” The vampire replied, still confused at the sight of that pig that was in Buffy’s lap once more. She seemed happier than before and Angel really wondered why. It wasn’t like she had worried about Spike or so, who he still wanted to hurt badly when they found him. Suddenly something clicked inside his thoughts.
“Buffy, those guys you are looking for.” He began, thinking about it once more. “Was one of them really short and one of the others really annoying…”
“They are all pretty much annoying.” Xander piped up, not taking his eyes from the pig in Buffy’s lap. He was sure that it had smirked dirtily at him earlier.
“No, I meant that there were two bigger ones and one really short one with a sort of whining voice and wearing a shirt with something on it that looked like that stuff on your pig?” Angel asked, ignoring Xander completely. “Is that Mr.Gordo???”
“Yeah, how do you know that?” Willow wanted to know. Sure they had told Angel everything about those three geeks and told him who they were, but since he’d never met them or remembered meeting them truly, he couldn’t know what they looked like.
Angel turned around to face them all after exchanging knowing looks with the L.A. branch of the Scoobies. They knew what he was about to say and mentally slapped themselves for not remembering it earlier.
“I might know where they are.”
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