Disclaimer and Notes: see Prologue
Spike’s brain
by Belladonna
~Chapter 3~
The Spike Incident
After Warren had explained his plan to them, once again truly thinking of building him robots to help him in making his thoughts work out perfectly, they finally could start this little mission. It only had taken him roughly twice to go over his idea that should have shown them his geniality but ended up questioning him their intelligence at all.
This would be good, it was his plan after all and that alone should be making it a highlight in outstanding genius, certainly it did next to these morons. Warren conveniently forgot mentioning that the other plans, the previous ones which failed all without exceptions, also had come from his genius mind.
But this time it would be different. Now, no longer thinking of Voyager, though still of the assets that wandered around these corridors in skin tight uniforms being worn by the Borg chick there, Jonathan sat behind the steering wheel of their Nerdmobile and took it out of the garage. On their way towards where they expected their target to be, Warren played some more on the electronic equipment in the back of the car, to make sure that it would function perfectly. This was not something he would want to blow.
They had been driving around Sunnydale for almost the whole day now, looking for their target when the clear road started to be a bit bumpy.
“But you do know where he lives, right Warren?” Jonathan’s voice shook him out of his electronic bliss situation that came from being surrounded by his beloved machines.
“Huh?” Warren climbed forward. “What do you mean, I know where he lives? Don’t you?”
“Why should I know where he lives?” Jonathan shot back. “It’s not that I tell him where I live. Why would I want to know that anyway?”
“Because we are looking for him? Andrew?” Warren inquired form the other boy but he too shook his head.
“Christ!” He cursed vehemently. “You are telling me that we are out to acquire our designated target, driving around for the whole day and don’t even know where the hell he lives?”
A double nod from the two others confirmed Warren’s worst suspicions.
“I think he lives on a cemetery.” Andrew tried hesitantly.
“Well, duh! He’s a vampire, of course he lives on a cemetery.” Warren told him. “Where else would he live?”
“I dunno, in a nice house with a white picket fence and flowers in the front yard?” Andrew asked, innocence present in his voice.
“Very funny, do you see me not laughing here?” Warren fumed slightly. This was not going according to plan, not at all. “You wouldn’t know on which cemetery he resides on, since we have only like twelve of them here?!”
“Hey, at least we have a lead with the cemetery here.” Andrew defended himself and Jonathan nodded agreeing from behind the steering wheel.
“Yeah and it is worth nothing if we don’t know which one we should start to look at!” Warren hissed. “And not only that we have a whole dozen or more of them here, they are awfully huge too!”
“So, why don’t we follow that vampire instead?” Jonathan suddenly asked curiously, having slowed down his driving a bit. Him arguing and the same time driving didn’t exactly match very well; that he knew from previous experience.
“What!!?”
“I said, why don’t we follow that vampire then instead?” Jonathan repeated, gesturing towards a tall peroxide blonde man who just had turned around the corner leading away from the Magic Box towards one of the bigger cemeteries. “That one who looks just like Spike?”
“Er, good idea.” Warren told him hastily. Good thing they remembered how he looked like from previous encounters and especially from that day they no longer spoke of. From now on it should go as planned, Warren thought to himself.
***
Spike was unaware of the van following him alongside the street towards the cemetery where he resided. In fact he hadn’t known that even a vampire could feel that drained. But he truly longed for his bed right now, going to lay sprawled down there and probably not getting up again for ages. So, when he finally walked upon the grounds of the graveyard, he still did not know about his three shadows.
Completely unsuspecting anything, he opened the doors to his crypt, got himself something to drink and plopped down in front of the telly. He was so tired by doing all that inventory thing, not to mention being nearly blinded by the daylight spell, hey that sounded funny inside his head, he just wished to spend the rest of the night slouched in his favourite chair, with a cold beer in his hands and watching some soap reruns on the flicker box.
Little did he know that with that wish he already had jinxed it.
***
“Alright, quiet now!” Warren shushed the others. They had parked their van at the corner of the cemetery and slowly walked over it now. After having lost Spike when he entered the graveyard before, they now had to search for the right place he might have gone to.
“Remember people, we are here to find our target, which we did by now, and then lost him again so if we want this to work, we have to find him. And we do want this to work, right?”
“Of course!” The other two answered immediately, not mentioning that they had rather wanted to watch the long Voyager special instead of running around on the graveyard in the middle of the night. But no, Warren had wanted to find that vampire to test his new toy on him. And now they had to get up every time they wanted to switch channels!
So they made their way over the cemetery, Jonathan and Andrew looking behind every gravestone for a sign of Spike.
“I don’t think he’s hiding behind a tombstone, morons!” Warren smacked them over their heads. “I’m rather thinking kind of a crypt.”
“Ouch, you didn’t have to hit us, Warren!” Jonathan complained, rubbing the back of his head. “He might be hiding from us.”
“Yeah, what if he’d noticed us already?” Andrew whined. This was not to his liking. “I mean what if he knows about our plan and will be attacking us every second now?”
“He will know if you two won’t stop whining for god’s sake!” Warren told them, pressing a finger to his lips. “Now quiet and go search!”
Finally they seemed to have found the right crypt with it being the only one that a terrible off-key singing radiated from, in the tune of some stupid soap opera theme.
“We found it, we found it!” Andrew beamed happily. “Now what do we do next, hm, hm?”
“Now we will get him like I already told you would be our plan!” Warren sent a silent plea towards heaven for a brain for the boy. “Now, we’re going to test my hypothesis.”
“But you’ve said that it was fool proof as in real plan?” Jonathan asked him curiously.
‘Fool proof so that it wouldn’t be ruined by fools like you.’ Warren thought to himself. Louder he simply told them that everything was going to be okay and according to the plan. Yes, it had been a plan and it would be so great. Did he not already say that?
“So are we going to do it or what?” Andrew still was bouncing slightly, hyperactivity showing. “I mean, the action will start tonight, won’t it?”
“Yes, it will.” Warren sighed, patting the pocket of his jacket in which his remote control was stashed in; just to make sure that it still was there. “In fact, it will right now.”
The three of them crept closer towards the crypt, to get a sneak peek inside and to make sure that they had the right one picked. It wouldn’t do them good to screw this up. But then, they would be getting their remote back from Warren after all.
When they had made sure that Spike truly was inside the crypt, Warren got his remote out of the pocket and pointed it towards the wall. He was about to press a button when Jonathan pinched him on the arm.
“Are you sure that it will work?” He asked hesitantly. Warren sighed again.
“Of course it will, why shouldn’t it?” Warren asked impatiently, putting his arm down and Jonathan shrugged.
“I mean you are pointing at the wall.” Well, duh, as if Warren hadn’t noticed that without Jonathan pointing out.
“Yes, so what?”
“But you are pointing at the wall.” Jonathan repeated, then adding “Will it work when you point it at the wall?”
“Yes it will, doofus.” Warren grew impatient on that one. If he wouldn’t start now, they would loose valuable time in conditioning their target on the Slayer, or rather in having a chance for their new tool in taking her out for them. “And if you don’t trust me, trust this.”
Warren raised his arm again, pointing with the remote towards the wall and pressed a button.
Nothing happened.
“Is it out of batteries?” Andrew wondered, having expected some sort of light show.
“No, it is not and it did work. What about we’ll go in and find out?” Warren suggested. The other two backed away.
“No way, dude!” They told him. “I mean, that is Spike, he’s evil and whatnot. And he threatened the Fett!”
“Yeah, so what, the Fett is fine and not even here.” Warren glanced towards them. “Now will you stop being such ninnies and go in there!”
Growling they both complied and with a slow creak the heavy door to the crypt opened a small peak. Only to be then pushed open completely by Jonathan and Andrew stumbling into the place after being shoved by Warren.
“Hey, what was that for?” Jonathan complained and Andrew chimed in.
“Yeah, what if it hasn’t worked?”
“What the bleedin’ hell are you doing here?” Boomed a voice from the back and they all flinched. According to Warren, that wasn’t supposed to happen.
In the back of the room, they could see the bleached blond vampire sitting in his chair right in front of the telly, apparently having watched something before they had fallen with the door into the crypt. Literally.
“Uh-oh!”
“Well, press the button again, Warren!” Andrew shrieked hysterically, grabbing Warren. The other boy simply held out his hand with the remote once again and pressed the button anew. Nothing visually happened so they stepped closer towards the vampire who hadn’t moved an inch despite them having invaded his home. And of course despite the strong cursing that they could still hear coming from him.
Spike could see them coming over towards him and his curses got louder at them. They inched closer, their fear of him attacking every moment forgetting of the chip preventing him from exactly that but also their excitement showing in the way they curiously examined him sitting there.
That was it when he noticed it, almost the same time they did.
Spike still sat in the comfy chair, his eyes glued on the television screen and never leaving it at all, not even to raise them to glance at the newcomers. He had a good view at them though, standing there with their backs towards the television and staring down at his body.
A good view he had at them indeed, at their backs and at himself sitting in his favourite chair.
“Bloody Hell!” Spike roared and the others looked stunned at the prone form in the chair. The one whose lips hadn’t moved at all but whose voice they could hear clearly coming from behind them. They turned around to the small television screen, to look right into the face of another Spike.
“Oh, boy!” The three Nerds shouted out unison.
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