Disclaimer and Notes: see Prologue
Spike’s brain
by Belladonna
~Chapter 8~
Spike in the fold
(music featured in this chapter is ‘Looking for freedom’ sung by David Hasselhoff, and ‘Oops, I did it again’ from Britney Spears, also partially ‘American Pie’, from Don McLean, lyrics are once again by me)
The same time Buffy and Spike had started their journey, a black convertible left its parking space in front of the Hyperion Hotel with equally screeching tires, leaving black marks on the pavement. Angel and his crew were on their way to Sunnydale. And the older vampire was not exactly pleased about the trip but more at the prospect of doing serious harm to his annoying grand-childe. The other occupants of the car were praying silently for arriving safely after numerous attempts of changing Angel’s mind about driving had been rather futile and fruitless. And not even out of the big city, their faces wore all the exact same pale and really, really frightened expression already. This was going to be a long trip, not taken into consideration that their chauffeur was flooring the gas pedal. But it sure would feel an eternity to them and they’d maybe kiss the floor just like the pope always did after their arrival in Sunnydale.
***
The trip had gone rather quiet for a while and Buffy was lost in her thoughts. She was looking out of the window, watching the scenery pass by as Spike raced through the night. At first she had wondered about how exactly he could drive the car while being stuck inside the electric systems, and that classic didn’t have much of them, but she thought it better not to think about it any longer. She hadn’t come up with any explanation for it. It also had made her head hurt, too.
“So, luv.” Spike’s voice sounded a bit strange coming through the speakers of his car radio. “Enjoying the ride, pet?”
“What? Ah, yes.” Buffy replied, yawning. “It is a nice ride, but I still don’t understand why you didn’t want to let me drive. I could do it.”
“Sure, pet. But I still feel safer if I am the one driving my car.” Spike explained, carefully avoiding the truth. “No matter what state I am currently in.”
“You’re in California, Spike.” Buffy supplied grinning but then she yawned again.
“Long night? Why don’t you sit back, relax and let me do the driving part.” Spike said gently, ignoring that last comment. “The part I am doing anyways. Take a nap and I’ll wake you up when we are in L.A.”
“Promise?” Buffy leaned back and made herself even more comfortable in her seat.
“Yeah, how else should I get that book from Wesley? Drive straight into the hotel lobby?” Spike chuckled at the thought of his Grandsire’s face at that image, but Buffy hadn’t even heard him. She’d already been fast asleep.
***
“Okay, what are we going to do next?” Anya asked the rest of the assembled Scoobies present at the Magic Box. Xander had gone with Buffy and then returned to them, but told them also about the site inspector and that he wouldn’t be able to stay up that long with them for the search. Anya of course had told him that it would be okay since he’d be loosing his job if he didn’t show up for that visit in an awake state and that’d be truly bad since then there’d be no one to buy her pretty and expensive gifts. The others had rolled with their eyes at that, including Xander who’d again repeated. “Nice to know you really love me, Ahn.”
“Since we’ve already looked for a way to help Spike get out of the television, I think we should be looking for the body to put him back into.” Willow suggested.
“You’re right, and maybe we should go look for the three geeks, too.” Tara added thoughtfully. “Someone has taken the body to the Bronze and let him vanish from there again and I think it had been them.”
“Good idea.” Willow admitted, not having thought so far herself. “So, if we find the Nerds, we’ll find Spike’s body. The question is only, where should we look for the three?” Something struck Willow when she looked at Xander again. “Why are you still here? Didn’t you drive Buffy to Angel?”
“In one word? Spike.” Xander replied. “He didn’t want to let me drive his car nor let Buffy near it without supervision so he drove her himself. Oh, and one good thing? We don’t need to find a way to get him out of the television anymore.”
***
On the other end of town, three guys had entered a crypt to just get what they needed and then the hell out of there again. Being in a crypt gave them the creeps, not that one of them ever would admit that openly in front of the others.
Everything was still exactly like they’d left it, except that the door had been put back up. The television was still off and the screen black. Warren stepped over to turn it back on. He’d put on a superior smile for the vampire to see and showing him that he’d better do anything Warren wanted him to do or else, but something was wrong.
There was no vampire visible on the screen.
“What the hell?”
“Where is he, Warren?” Andrew asked, fear shining inside his eyes. “What if he’s dead? You killed him!”
“I didn’t kill him, dummy.” Warren said without turning back to him. “He’s just gone.”
“That’s what they do when they are killed. Oh my god, you killed Spike!!” Jonathan joined Andrew’s concerns; but them something else struck him. “What if the Slayer found him and took him away?”
“He can’t be gone anywhere! The television is still here so he must be here, too.” Warren began to feel a little concerned also. He grabbed the remote from the table and pressed aimlessly any button that was on the damn thing. Maybe the vampire thought he was clever and hid somewhere on another channel. But he wouldn’t best Warren, not when he was that close to spreading out his kingdom from the basement to the rest of Sunnydale.
Both Jonathan and Andrew watched with growing fascination the spectacle that was there for free, the only thing missing was the popcorn and some soft drinks. They had never, and never truly meant never, seen their self-proclaimed leader in a state like this. Warren never had lost control before, he’d always been superior to them, at least he believed so for himself. But it was nice to watch though how he was starting to rave around the crypt, mumbling to himself that it couldn’t be happening; it simply couldn’t. Somewhere in the farthest corner of his mind, Warren was sure to hear Murphy laughing and he asked himself for like the thousandth time why nobody had strangled that guy before he’d postulated that stupid law of his.
“Alright, think…think…he’s not in the television, he’s not on the Discovery Channel or somewhere else boring so where could he have gone?” Warren went on, still oblivious of his grinning audience, the one who cautiously looked out that he wouldn’t see them doing it of course. “He couldn’t have gone out, so he has to be somewhere, but where could he have gone?”
“Now he’s lost it.” Jonathan whispered towards Andrew whose eyes were glued on their comrade, mesmerized by those frantic movements.
“But he couldn’t have gone out since he was stuck here in the television and there’s no way that he could have escaped.” Warren ran his fingers through his hair, gesturing wildly with the other hand which still held the in this case rather useless remote control. “Maybe he’s on Pay-TV? Nah, that couldn’t be, since he hasn’t Pay-TV here, or has he?”
“What if the Slayer really has found him, Warren?” Andrew piped up and Warren turned around towards them. Instantly the huge grins on both Andrews and Jonathans face disappeared to make place for the innocent and rather dorky expression they usually wore.
“She couldn’t have found him, the television was off.” Warren told him while throwing in a dirty look for good measure. Then he went back to resume his pacing. And ranting.
“See? Told you, he’s lost it." Jonathan repeated whispering and the grin had returned to his face. Andrew nodded in agreement.
“So, where can a vampire go, who should be trapped inside the television when he is not there?” Warren wondered aloud.
***
On the way to Los Angeles, a black DeSoto sped along the streets, pedal to the metal or something similar. Only that there wasn’t someone behind the wheel to floor that pedal but let’s forget about that insignificant part for a moment when you have a gorgeous girl sitting in your car, stretching gracefully like a cat and wriggling in your leather seats, maybe moaning your name while doing so.
Wait a minute, rewind that again; in your leather seats?
Yeah, right, the leather seats in your car, maybe.
Right again, the ones in your car, only that you currently are that car.
Spike sighed, wishing once more to have his body back and being able to enjoy this experience, namely Buffy finally having in his car and driving her somewhere romantic, him being in said body. Not that driving towards Los Angeles to get some old dusty book from that other watcher guy would ever be called romantic in the first place. But who was he to complain when he had her inside his car? Following the road and no longer trying to figure out how exactly he was able to drive that car, Spike began to hum slightly, not wanting to wake up the sleeping Slayer behind the steering wheel. Later though, that hum turned over into silent singing.
One dark night in London
Some hundred and twenty years ago
I was turned to be a mad girl’s childe
It changed everything I’ve expected for me
And love made this ride real wild.
Driving some happy snake lines, the black car continued its way towards the City of Angel…s.
I’ve been living a good unlife
I’ve been living it for so long
I’ve been living the good unlife
Never missing life until now
I’ve been living a good unlife
Since the night I was turned
I’ve been living the good unlife
And love has changed it again.
***
“Okay, guys.” Willow took over being the one in charge again. “Where do we look for the Nerds?”
“Don’t you mean where to look for Spike’s body?” Anya began instantly questioning her and Xander leaned back in his chair, waiting for the show to begin. Hopefully it didn’t cost him another broken arm like the last time. Tara sighed silently, and here she had so hoped, just like Xander, that they finally had sorted it out. Apparently they hadn’t.
“Of course, we need to look for the Spike’s body.” Willow told her impatiently. “But in order to do so, we need to look for the Nerds. We’ve also already discussed that part.”
“Wouldn’t we find them a lot faster if we’d looked for his body?” Anya asked again, ignoring the last part of the sentence and remaining blissfully unaware of the identical “Why us?” glances that both Xander and Tara had on their faces. Of course, she also was unaware of the fact that slowly but steadily Willow got mad at her.
“We’d find them a lot faster if you would stop questioning my authority, Anya.” Willow told her, taking a deep calming breath and glaring angrily in Anya’s direction.
“Alright, if you don’t want my input to this, fine!” Anya threw her hands up, clearly upset and sat down grumbling on her chair again. Xander knew that this wouldn’t be straightened out that easily, but then he suspected that Anya would at least no longer be worrying about going into hell or something similarly stupid.
“Why don’t we forget this all and deal with it like us grown-ups do. “ Xander suggested instead, hoping that now they wouldn’t act like children again. Of course he also knew that it was a rather futile attempt at not making them act like that any longer. “We need to get back on the track, clear heads and all that crap. Besides, I really want to do something before my leg begins to snore.” He added, rubbing his numb thigh.
“Okay, just don’t hit on me again, but I have a question.” Anya raised her hand tentatively. “Where do we start looking for the Nerds?”
“I don’t know…Why are you all looking at me?” Willow asked alarmed, feeling the stares of everyone else resting on her.
“Uh, nothing.”
“Good, ‘cause I have no idea where they might be. How should I know, I don’t know where Nerds go or how they act, it’s not like I’ve ever been one….forget that last part.” Willow said, looking sheepishly, but then got serious again. “I still have no clue.”
“I know one thing for sure, we’ll never find them sitting here around the table and doing plain nothing.” Xander stated. “So, do we go out and look or what?”
“Do you know where?”
“Nope, but I’m sure sooner or later these Nerds will cross our path, maybe they’ll return to the place of the crime and we’ll get them.” He said, grinning evilly at the prospect of getting through Spike’s things in order to find a hiding place to wait for the three geeks.
“You sure you are Xander? You don’t sound like him.” Willow stated, smiling towards him and not even thinking about the further ramifications of her rhetorical phrase. Anya of course misunderstood like always.
“Oh, that’s him, you should hear him talking when we are home and he dresses up for me like a detective and…”
“ANYA!”
***
“Warren, we should go.” Jonathan suggested after a while during which they still hadn’t found a single trace of the missing vampire in the television. “What if the Slayer comes here?”
“She won’t come here, what should she be doing in a vampire’s crypt, what would be here for her to come in the first place and why should she be coming back for it?” Warren rambled continuously on and on.
“Maybe the same thing that we were here for?” Andrew asked innocently and trying his best to suppress that huge grin on his face. He also really, really tried hard to suppress also the urge to tell Warren, their supposedly fearless leader that she actually had come here once, with them seeing her. “What about that thing anyways, I mean it is not here so why are we still?”
“We will not set a single foot out of this crypt without taking the vampire with us.” Warren stated. “We will find him and we will take him with us, is that clear?”
“Yes, Warren, but there is something you really should know about this…” Jonathan started to say, cocking his head to listen to some noise coming from the outside.
“I won’t repeat myself again; we are not going without the vampire. And I don’t want to hear anything else from you. So far you haven’t been that helpful.”
“Yes, but…”
“Stop that, this isn’t a democracy.” Warren snapped angrily. “I said that we won’t go without the vampire so we don’t go without the vampire.”
“We have already looked everywhere inside this crypt, even where he surely couldn’t be at all,” Jonathan told him, “and we’ve found nada. He is no longer here but the Slayer might be soon.”
“WHAT?”
“He’s right, Warren, somebody’s coming.” Andrew said also. “I can hear someone outside and somehow I think that if they are coming here for the same reason that we did, hiding in the shadows won’t work this time.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that sooner?”
***
I came to Sunnydale
Seeking action and some thrill
But what I found instead was her
With long blond shining hair
And eyes so full of love
That sadly wasn’t meant for me.
Buffy was sound asleep inside the DeSoto and extremely dead to the world. She didn’t even wake up from the sound of silent singing coming out of the speakers nor did she notice that they were speeding along the road with a much higher speed than was actually allowed. Her eyes were closed and she had leaned her head on the driver’s window, making herself as comfortable as possible. Some blond strands of hair had fallen into her face, the rest of her hair surrounding it like a goddess’ tiara and her full lips had curled into a slight smile, possible of dreaming about something beautiful. The light of the moon and the few lights at the side of the street danced across her face, drawing patterns of silver and pale colors. The car continued its way towards Los Angeles.
I couldn’t help it but to fall in love
Knowing well she’ll never love me back
And I harbour still the hope
That she can see the man I am
No longer the monster that I once was
There wasn’t much traffic on the streets this night, probably they were all at home or too scared to get in the way of another driver that made his way not like Buffy from Sunnydale towards Los Angeles but rather the other way around. Inside the passengers were cramped tight into the small space of the – oh wonder another black car, what was it anyway with vampires and their obsession with black cars? – convertible, that sped along the highway, mentally praying for their dear lives with a passion that was unknown for them. Also their faces were still in that pale colour that also was not even close to their natural one.
“Angel, would you please drive a bit slower?” Wesley asked hesitantly, not trusting himself to get his hand away from his mouth yet.
“Yeah, right man.” Gunn piped up from the backseat. “English here looks a bit green and so does Lorne.”
“He always looks green, that’s normal for him.” Angel returned, not bothering to slow down the smallest bit.
“I don’t look green.” Wesley protested weakly, bringing his hand hurriedly back over his mouth and swallowed heavily before taking another calming breath of the cool night air.
”He meant me, sweets and you’re probably right; it won’t look good on you anyway.” Lorne stated, looking at his hands. “But on me it looks fantabulous.”
“As long as you don’t give Wes any fashion advice on how to dress…” Cordelia began, a huge grin apparent on her face.
“What’s wrong with the way I dress?” Came the unison reply from both Lorne and Wesley, the latter who immediately regretted having spoken that rushed.
Cordelia had just wanted to try again convincing Angel of driving a bit more slowly, but then got interrupted by staring into the windows of the car that they had just passed. “Huh? Did you just see what I saw? That girl was sleeping while driving!”
“We should wake her up before she causes an accident.” Fred said concerned but as soon as the words were out of her mouth they all knew the futility of an attempt to make Angel turn the car around.
“I need to be in Sunnydale.” Angel told them, gritting his teeth. “Who cares about that girl, I need to hit Spike; a lot.”
“But isn’t that what we do? Helping the hopeless?” Fred asked again.
“Yup, and that girl sure looked like she was hopelessly getting off the highway in about as soon as she reaches the next curve.” Cordelia said. “The one we have barely made with you driving like the devil himself was behind us or behind the wheel, which probably is the fact. Anyways, we should at least call the police to tell them about this. You don’t want to have another innocent on your hands, right Angel?”
Grumbling, Angel threw his mobile phone towards her, while never taking his eyes off the road nor his foot from the gas pedal. Wesley once again had his hand pressed firmly over his mouth, swallowing heavily and gulping for air in between.
“And Angel, would you please drive a bit more slowly, before Wesley starts getting sick all over your seats…”
***
“Xander, are you sure you can find the Nerds inside Spike’s closet?” Willow asked her friend incredulously after watching him going through Spike’s clothing for a while. And that way they had even found out that they came in more colours than just plain black.
“What?” Xander jumped, not having noticed that he had drawn an audience. He sprung around, then realized that he still held some of Spike’s clothes in his hand and threw it hastily back into the closet, shutting the doors forcefully. “No, I just wanted to make sure that they didn’t hide in there and plan on jumping on us from behind, attacking us and…uh, did you find anything, Wills? Any clues that will lead us to the three geeks?”
“Aha, just wanted to make sure that they didn’t jump onto you from behind, right?” Willow snickered, looking really innocent while doing it and Anya and Tara were giggling behind his back. “No, I haven’t found anything yet. But then, I hadn’t had the really outstanding idea of looking inside a closet. You sure you weren’t looking for something else there or do you have any other suggestions, oh great Xander, master of all clues?”
“Ha, ha. Not funny, Willow.” Xander said, turning away from them to hide his embarrassment. “I just wanted to help and this is how they thank me.“ He mumbled to himself. Anya patted his shoulder.
“Don’t worry, honey.” She told him reassuringly. “If you want, I can hide in the closet when we come home and then jump on you from behind.”
“Anya!” Xander’s face turned an interesting shade of pink that moment.
“Anything to make you happy.” She smiled happily and went on to her task to look for any signs that would lead them either to where the Nerds were or where they had taken his body to or how they did that change in the first place. “Did you find anything you’d like me to wear later in Spike’s things?”
***
I once made a big mistake
By telling her how I felt
And she though that I was mad
I still fought by her side
Helping her where I could
To win her trust in me back
I’ll be with her now to the end of time
Protect her until my final death
Hoping that one day she
Sees me for what I am
And returns what I feel for her.
Cordelia didn’t have needed to call the police since it wasn’t long until a patrol car passed the black DeSoto and its sleeping passenger. They had been driving in the same direction that Angel’s convertible did, otherwise they probably wouldn’t have noticed the sleeping girl behind the wheel at all.
The two officers looked at each other, identical looks of disbelief on both their faces as they turned their car around and followed the DeSoto until they were at the same height, all the time honking in an attempt to wake the driver up. When that didn’t work, they switched over to the horn, but even the blaring sound of the siren was not able to rouse her from her deep sleep. And the driver was sure that it would have woken up the dead.
“Oh my god.” One of the police officers said. “She ain’t gonna make that curve we passed a mile behind.”
“Well, at least nobody could say we didn’t try.” His partner told him, shaking his head disbelievingly. They remained behind that car as it steered towards the curve, never slowing down.
To their real surprise the car followed its path through the curve perfectly.
Both their mouths fell open to this. They couldn’t believe it, that girl should have been dead unless…
“She must have woken up in time then.” The first officer said and the other agreed.
“She’s probably drunk. Let’s pull her over.”
The officer who drove the police car sped up a bit to bring the car next to the DeSoto so that his partner could give that girl a sign to pull over. When the partner looked inside the car he got a surprise he hadn’t quite expected.
The girl was still asleep, her face lying against the window and she had a rather content smile on her face.
The officer exchanged a rather incredulous look with his partner; then he opened his window and leaned out to knock on the car window and onto the roof of that other car.
Buffy slowly stirred, her peaceful dream interrupted by the sudden change in her environment. She had managed to ignore the singing Spike had started shortly after they’d left Sunnydale and then successfully shut out all the other noises, but the hitting sound onto the car window and the roof was just too much.
“What in the world?” She looked around her and then caught the police car next to her. “Oh, oh, what did I do?”
“Deny everything, pet.” Spike’s advice was not that helpful in clearing the situation for her.
He had been so engrossed in his singing that he hadn’t noticed the patrol car at all. Of course he wouldn’t have slowed down either, since he was evil and all that. Now he no longer had any other choice since he didn’t want to endanger Buffy. And Spike also was sure that it would be painful to get shot even being the car as it was being a vampire. He pulled the car over and stopped.
Behind him the police car had stopped also. Buffy was just slowly digesting the fact that both officers moved towards the DeSoto, each having one hand on his gun.
“Okay, out.” One of them demanded. Buffy still sat there in the car, staring at the radio.
“One bit of advice, pet; deafness is always a good approach when you’re dealing with those that serve and protect.” Spike told her, not seeing the deadly glare that Buffy shot at him, or where she thought he was at the moment. Since she wasn’t sure about that, the radio was a good substitute for that.
“Shut up, Spike.” She was angry. First she got woken up from the probably best dream she’d had for a long time and then the annoying bleached blond who currently was rather black and dusty on the hood was mocking her. “You’ve been driving way too fast or maybe weaving through the road or something.”
“How did you know that? Er, no! Of course not, I was always within the speed limits.” Spike told her, not mentioning that this might not have been the speed limit that was the current one for this particular highway. “You couldn’t have driven better. Uh, never mind but maybe you’d also pretend having a slight kink in your neck, since you were sleeping with your head against the window.” It sure did look cute and I couldn’t see it, Spike silently added for himself and started to pout. Could cars even pout?
“Way great!” Buffy said sarcastically. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“Because I promised not to wake you up before we got to Angel’s.” Spike answered sullenly, still pouting although nobody could see the pouting part. “And we are not there yet, are we?”
“Who is she talking to?” The first officer wondered as they watched her talking to apparently nobody.
“Nobody.” His partner mused. “Probably a hard core alky or something.”
He apparently didn’t know her track record with alcoholic beverages of any kind. Make that her bad track record.
“Hey, haven’t you heard me?” The first one tried again addressing the girl in the car. “Either you’ll be out here in a second or you’ll be spending the night in jail.”
“Okay, Spike. It is worth a try.” Buffy said to herself, then she looked up towards the two police officers and moved her lips while gesturing to her ears to signal them her faked deafness. Then she rolled down her window.
“Alright, that’s better now you’ll get the balloon…” The police officer addressed his partner, then turned his attention towards Buffy. “And you, Miss…oh my god…you’re the Slayer!”
“I….huh?” Buffy was taken aback. How could that guy know about her, unless….But her Slayer senses told her that this was neither a vampire nor any other kind of supernatural being. Just a normal police officer who just knew about what she was. “I am not the Slayer.”
“Oh my god, you’re right.” The partner had just returned and now also recognized the girl in the car. “You’re the Slayer.”
“What, do I have a flashing neon sign on my head that says ‘Hello, I am the Slayer’?” Buffy wondered aloud, feeling strangely remembered of her first days in Sunnydale when everybody seemed to know about her. Then she continued denying it, while forgetting about the pretended deafness and anything else. “I am not the Slayer, I don’t even know what’s a Slayer and why do you keep asking me that?”
“But she is it.” The officer in front of her tipped his partner on the shoulder and pointed then towards her. “I know her from the television.”
“Yeah, right. Uh, Miss, why don’t you just continue your way, we don’t want to hold such a celebrity any longer than necessary.” He said then pushed his notepad rather sheepishly into her face. “But if you would…erm…just sign right here? And could you write for Kyle?”
Buffy was taken aback by this really weird display of behaviour but she took the notepad and scribbled her name underneath it before she gave it back. “Okay, can I go now?”
“Ah, yes, of course, just go, no problem, hard feelings and so.” The officer stammered and Buffy turned her head towards the radio, shaking her head before the car once more awoke to life and drove away.
“Man, that was the Slayer, have you seen that?” The officer named Kyle turned around, clutching the notepad like it was his most priced possession. “That was the Slayer and I got her autograph. Wait until I tell that back home, my kids will flip.”
Some miles away, Buffy still shook her head, not quite wanting to believe what had just happened.
“What was that all about? And wait a minute, how can they know me from television?”
I’ve been living a good unlife
I’ve been living it for so long
I’ve been living the good unlife
Never missing life until now
I’ve been living a good unlife
Since the night I was turned
I’ve been living the good unlife
And love has changed it again.
***
“They are not here.” Willow stated after they had turned the crypt upside down.
“That’s obvious. “ Xander said then corrected himself hastily when he felt Willow glare at him. “Uh, I meant since we haven’t found them.”
“And we haven’t found a single clue as to where Spike might have gone. Only some stupid funny looking sword collection in the basement among other things at the wall with strange glyphs on them. But nothing magickal, I’d have recognized it otherwise.” Anya said, plopping herself back into the television chair.
“We know where Spike has gone.” Willow told her. “That was not why we were here, also not to go through Spike’s things.” At that she pointed a really dagger-throwing glare towards Xander.
“I know, but I meant Spike’s body.” Anya explained. “We haven’t found a single clue where that body of his might have gone.”
“Yeah, right, that’s why we were looking for clues that might tell us where the Nerds have taken him or how they switched his mind into the television.”
“But I thought he was now a car?” Anya was confused.
“No, what she meant was how they made that change at all.” Tara tried to explain and maintain the once more really fragile peace between the two girls. “But what if they have already been here and cleaned up all the proof?”
“We’re talking about the Nerds, right?” Xander only looked towards her. “These three wouldn’t even find the proof they’d left even if it bit them in their butts.”
They all giggled at that thought, but went serious again.
“I hope that this book will help Spike.” Tara said silently. She really liked Spike, but then she had to admit that she only knew him the way he was after he had been chipped and started reluctantly helping the gang.
“I hope so, too, since all we have come up with to help him or find an explanation on how this was possible and how to revert it is nothing.” Willow walked up towards her girlfriend. “I don’t want to think about what might happen if we can’t help him at all.”
“The Nerds know how to change him back, right?” Xander asked and tried to conceal the worry in his voice.
“I don’t know, but since they did it in the first place they should be able to return the process.” Willow said honestly. “But if not…”
Xander knew she had left that sentence dangling; knowing well that nobody wanted to hear what followed these three words. Even though nobody really liked Spike, despite everything he had done for them in the past year and the knowledge that he had fought at their side; well admittedly he had tried to kill them also, but that was in the past; and he had continued to watch over Dawn even though he didn’t have to stay after Buffy’s death, it somehow bothered Xander.
He had become friends with the vampire, no matter how hard he had fought against it or pretended that it hadn’t happened, if he was honest to himself, he had grown fond of Spike and to a certain degree envied him a bit for his unbroken loyalty towards those dear to his heart. And admitting this to himself once more, Xander found that it bothered him now even more to loose Spike’s friendship, shouldn’t they find a way to give him his body back.
He also knew that even though he was really needed at the working site in the morning, he would not be able to sleep that well until that issue was resolved.
***
“That was really close, man.” Andrew said once they got out of the sewer tunnels at the outer entrance of the cemetery. “They almost got us.”
“But they didn’t, so relax.” Warren had returned to his former arrogant and superior self. If your plan gets crossed by idiocy, dust yourself off and try something different this time. “Now, we don’t have the vampire to get the voice working, then we’ll just give him one of our own.”
“And that will work?” Jonathan wasn’t so sure about it but hey, if Warren believed it, it couldn’t hurt to try.
“Of course it will work. It is a great plan and it is my plan and therefore it has to work, period.” Warred shot daggers at them.
”Geez, calm down. I only wanted to know what we are going to do next.” Jonathan raised his hands defensively. “And if it takes long, since there is that Star Trek Marathon still waiting for me.”
“Ooh, that is the one on the Sci-Fi-Special Channel?” Andrew bounced in joy. “Where they are showing all of the Borg episodes and the make-up special for it and the new show? Man, Seven of Nine is so hot.”
“Can we go back to the point? Hello, still silent vampire in need of a voice in our basement and us trying to defeat the Slayer with it?” Warren brought them back down from their Trek-induced high. Besides, who cared about the new shows, granted the special effects were far better, but then the original series, the Classics had something different about them, something truly classic. Plus the girls then wore much shorter skirts.
“Okay, we’ll give him a microphone and scramble the voice a bit, and then? What will we do then, Warren?” Andrew wanted to know.
“Then, we’ll be doing the same thing we do every night. We are trying to take over Sunnydale.”
***
My, my, this evil vampire guy
Has this chip inside his head, can’t even hurt a small fly
Loves the Slayer, fighting at her side
Proving her that he can be a good guy…
“Are we there yet?”
“Why do you keep asking that, pet?” Spike sounded irritated. Not that she had asked just the same question barely a minute ago, but she also insisted on trying to figure out why these normal human guys knew her.
“Because I wanted to know if we were there yet.” Buffy repeated, drumming with her fingers on the steering wheel.
“Any other particular reason?” Spike again, anything was good enough to not make her talk about that other topic again. “Don’t you like my on-board entertainment program?”
“If you’d stopped singing we could talk again about that.” Buffy replied sweetly.
“I’m wounded, pet, really.” Spike told her. “If I still had hands to put them over my heart I’d do that right now. Don’t you like my singing?”
“Yes, sure, but…you know it is….” Buffy stalled then saw something that was her rescue. “Ooh, looky here, we’re in L.A. Now we only have to find that hotel, get the book and back to Sunnydale to make you switch back into your body.”
“Saved by the bell, eh pet? Or rather by the gigantic ‘Welcome to Los Angeles’ sign over there.”
A short time later they had accomplished finding the Hyperion Hotel, too. Spike drove himself right to the front entrance and stopped before it. Buffy stepped out of the car, fingering for the note on which she had scribbled the name of the book and turned around.
“I’ll be right back, Spike.” She gently patted the roof of the car. “Don’t go anywhere.”
Buffy nearly ran up the steps towards the entrance and then came to a halt. She tried to open the doors, but they were closed. Only a note was taped against the door.
‘Gone for a work outing. Please come back again soon, because we still help the hopeless. Just not tonight.
P.S. If you plan on looking for us in the Caritas, don’t bother, we’re not there either, so no use in destroying my place again.’
Hm, Buffy thought to herself. Where could they have gone and why would they leave such a strange message? And where would a group that fought demons on a regular basis go for a work outing anyway?
But she had come here for a reason and she didn’t drive here just to go back without that book. Okay, she admitted, she wasn’t the one who had driven the car, but that wasn’t the point. Besides, she would have very well been able to drive on her own if only they had let her.
She turned the doorknob with a bit more force and the lock broke. She opened the huge doors and stepped inside. Buffy instantly was overwhelmed with the sight of the interior and she walked around the main hall while staring around like someone visiting a museum. She had to admit that whoever had decorated the hall and was responsible for the interior design had done a terrific job with it, therefore it couldn’t have been Angel. Buffy grinned at that, must have been Spike’s influence. Then she remembered the reason for her visit and went looking for that book. Like expected she found it in Wesley’s office, he still was that a neat freak like he had been during his short period of being her Watcher.
On her way out Buffy thought that she should leave a note to explain that she had taken the book with her, in case Wesley was missing it. But she found a second note, just like the one outside the door standing on the desk in the middle of the entrance hall, where potential customers would go first.
‘In case you haven’t read the note at the door or it has been thrown away by some moron, we are still not here but gone to Sunnydale for a few days. It is no use to look for us here since we are not.
Oh, and P.S again: We are still not at Caritas, so don’t bother tearing down what few is left of my place.’
Buffy could almost see the pissed face of whoever owned that place named Caritas when he had written these few lines and she could see the face of whoever had written the original message, when he or she had realized that this other person had scribbled down his own thing underneath it. She decided that since they were in Sunnydale, she would tell Wesley personally that she had the book; it was predictable that they would cross paths there. She just wasn’t so sure what to tell Angel about the whole Spike affair or about her affair with Spike.
So, they made their way back to Sunnydale, with Buffy being forced to sit through another singing torture from her personal chauffeur. He wouldn’t even let himself silenced by turning off the radio – he would turn it back on – and the only other method was kind of useless until Spike got his body and with it his lips back that she then could seal with hers.
Oh no, they did it again
They made her believe, she’d survive last season
Oh what
A fool she had been
For her to believe they’d have new ideas
‘cause like every season
they come up with all that old stuff
Oh, not again!
***
Once the black convertible had passed the ‘Welcome to Sunnydale’ sign, and wonders, it stood upright for once, several of the occupants sighed in relief. They finally had made it and they were still alive to tell the tale.
“We are here, Angel.” Cordelia told their driver, while looking around. It hadn’t changed much since she had left. It still was the good old place she had never wanted to go back to. “You can drive more slowly now, we are within city limits, you know?”
“I know, but I want to find Spike as fast as possible.”
“So that you can ask him why he was on television?” Fred wondered, still not having understood the reason why Angel was so mad at that guy.
“No, that I can hit him lots of times because he was there with Buffy, kissing.” Angel’s eyes flashed yellow for a short time and that mad grin on his face was back again.
***
Oops!!...They did it again
And all for the show, she’s died now again
Oh, no! No way, no!
What? You thought she was that dumb? That she’d lay down and stay dead?
That sure was not in her contract!
Buffy was so happy when she saw the ‘Welcome to Sunnydale’ sign ahead of her, it meant that her torture was soon to be over. In her mind she was already planning a fitting revenge on Spike once he was back inside his body. Horrified she watched as the car increased speed and ran right over the sign, wood splintering underneath the tires.
“Why did you do that?” She asked, looking back at the poor mutilated sign.
“It’s tradition, luv.” Spike explained her. “You see, every time I come back to Sunnydale, I run over this sign and then step out of the car in this sexy manly fashion doing my thing.”
“Uhu.” Buffy rolled with her eyes.
“I do, well the sexy manly stepping out of the car thing not always.” Spike admitted, remembering that one time when he had fallen out of the car in a still sexy manly fashion way, but of course he had been very drunk at that time. “But the running over the sign thing every time. Besides, why would they put it back up all the time if they were tired of people running it over? It is just too tempting.”
Buffy could see the smirk on Spike’s face as he continued to drive, and of course much to her dismay, to sing.
You see the problem is this
I cannot think back
Ever seen her sign up for this
she fights, then we’re shagging all night
Can’t you guys see she’s just doing her job here?
But then make her die again
This is what, the second time now?
No way, no!
***
They finally stopped in front of the Summer’s house and Buffy could already see the pink tinge of the coming morning creeping over the horizon.
“Uh, Spike?” She asked the vampire/car. “I don’t know about you now, but the morning is coming and where do you go then?”
“I thought I’d stay over at your place, make myself comfortable.” Spike told her, the grin audible in his voice. “Put my feet on your sofa table and let my good Victorian manners go waste with daily soaps and all that crap on the telly during the day.”
“You don’t have good manners, Spike, so no worries about that.” Buffy said, taking the book with her and stepping out of the car. “Oh, we have visitors.” She remarked at the sight of the black convertible in her entrance way.
Buffy walked towards the door and was about to open it, when it was opened from the inside and Willow peered outside.
“Oh, Buffy, you’re home again.” She said as greeting. “Did you find the book?”
“Yes I got it right here.” Buffy tapped the book under her arm. “Now we only have to find out which spell to use for Spike and …oh oh…”
“Ah, Buffy, I am not sure if you’ve noticed already, but we’ve got some visitors.” Willow told her and stepped aside to make place for one particular visitor.
“Hello Buffy.” Angel greeted her politely when the open door revealed him standing in the hallway.
***
Outside, the DeSoto pulled back to get a better parking space for the day; its invisible driver still singing while he got himself a good look at the scene between the front porch and the door. This time his voice alternated between a high girlish one and his good and patented parody of the grand poofter himself.
And action!
Angel, these latest rumours…There’s something I need to tell you.
Oh, no you didn’t. Please tell me you didn’t…
Yes, yes we did.
But I thought I had left you to give you a good and normal life with Captain Cardboard?
Well, Angel, I’ve rethought it and sent him into the wilderness…
Now, I need a good brood!
Oops!!...She’s done it again
And I got to see it this time; that’s better than telly
Oh, no! No way, no!
Oops!!... She’s done it again
Man, that was a show, and I’m loving this so,
Oh, no! No way, no!
What? You thought she was a fool? That she’d let that chance pass?
Blame it on my influence!!
[Reviews - 0]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 2061 times
- Text Size +
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +