Author's Chapter Notes:
He knelt on the floor beside the bed, letting his head rest on the pillow next to her. He watched her and had been for several hours. His mind has been in turmoil since he had found her aimlessly wandering the streets of Sunnydale, since she had devastated him with the news that Joyce was gone. He had tried to comfort her as much as he could, but he honestly didn’t know what he was doing, he himself was trying to deal with it all. The void that filled him was like a lump in his throat that he couldn’t swallow down, a dull ache that he knew there was no remedy for, except maybe the passage of time. This is what he felt at the loss of Joyce, him a soulless vampire who had only had brief encounters with Joyce, but had received a kindness from her that had left a deep impression upon him, so much that he’d have gladly given his un-life to save her. He couldn’t began to fathom what she and ‘nibblet’ were going through, though he made a silent promise after she had drifted off to sleep that he would be there for them both, he’d look out for them and help them out anyway he could, for Joyce. He knew that’s all he could do for her now and so he would.

Her senses had awaken fully before the rest of her had and a panic had hit her head that there was a vampire nearby, that her life could possibly be in danger, yet she didn’t move, didn’t even open her eyes. Her heart didn’t care and her limbs didn’t care either and wouldn’t come to aid her if this vampire attacked her. After a few seconds her mind, having done a replay of the previous night’s events came crashing into the present, and reminding her of numbing fact that her mother was dead and that she was with Spike. And as if not believing what her mind was saying, her eyes opens as if to see for themselves the situation at hand. Her eyes locked onto vibrant blue ones, and then roamed the alabaster face that was only a few inches away from hers. Her lips instantly began to tremble and her face began to crumble, causing Spike to jump back in alarm as her frame began to shake with sobs. She balled up, curling her body up tighter as she hugged herself and wailed out the most agonizing noises Spike had ever heard, and he stepped back further from the bed finding his chair in the corner and sitting in it, as he watched her helplessly.

An hour had passed and her wails had turned to sobs, and then to sniffles and down to hiccups. She remained in the bed curled up as she stared off at the nearby wall just beside where Spike still sat and watched her in awe and longing, for he wanted nothing more than to hold her, to somehow make it better, but he knew that wasn’t possibly and so he opted to give her, her space. He frowned down at his hands, which he had been occupying by scraping off the fresh coat of black paint from his nails, that Dawn had just done for him. His mind racked with thoughts of what to do. A loud grumbling noise made him look up and right into the face that now silently stared at him. He sat frozen too afraid to move or speak, thankful that he didn’t need to breathe, it was the grumbling noise again that snapped him into motion as he hastily moved from his chair and towards the ladder leading up. She followed him with her eyes but made no move to follow him, had no energy to even think about moving from her comfortable spot in Spike’s king sized bed, with the surprisingly clean, crisp, white cotton sheets, and large abundance of pillows that seemed to swallow the bed up. With a deep sigh she closed her eyes again, seeking sleep but after twenty minutes, found it allusive and then impossible to grasp once the aromas of bacon and eggs filled her nostrils, and she quickly shot her eyes open and to Spike who was now carrying a tray towards her.

He moved to the bedside table sat down the tray, which held a plateful of cheese eggs, bacon, and French toast, with a container of Maple syrup, pitcher of Orange juice, and an full glass of OJ. Once he sat it down he moved back to his chair and sat down. She stared at the piping hot food that spewed out aromas that made her mouth literally water and her stomach to grumble even more loudly. As if it had a mind all its own her body moved, slowly sitting up. She reach out and grasped the tray, settling it across her lap.

“I can’t eat all of this,” She said with a shaky voice.

“It’s alright luv, just eat what you can.” Spike replied.

“Come eat some with me,” She said as if she hadn’t even heard him speak. He remained seated after her request, and didn’t move until she had looked up from the plate to where he sat, as if waiting for him to join her. So he stood and made is way to the bed and she scooted over more so he could sit next to her. She grabbed the fork and hungrily dug into the eggs, filling her mouth as she looked to Spike again, who knowing that she was wondering why he wasn’t digging in himself, and so he picked up a strip of bacon and began chopping. As if satisfied by his actions she mimicked them grabbing up a strip herself and gobbling it up, and then rinsing it down with a long gulp from her now full glass of orange juice, which she then passed to Spike. He sat staring stunned at the glass and then to her as she greedily pigged out on the food. He slowly moved the glass to his mouth not entirely sure that she was offering him some or expecting him to simply hold it for her. As the juice entered his mouth he felt her eyes on him and he quickly lowered the glass and swallowed the juice and another lump that had formed. She grabbed the glass back and took another gulp from it before handing it back to him, and then moving back to her food. Spike couldn’t help but to smile at the gesture, as he held the glass, nearly caressing it to his chest. After several moments where Spike sat watching and Buffy sat gorging herself, she fell back against the mountain of pillows and sighed heavily. Spike smiled at her but didn’t move to take the tray until after she had let out a very loud and unladylike belch, which she gave no apology for. With a chuckle Spike removed the tray setting it back upon the bedside table.

“You’re welcome pet,” He remarked to the belch. He looked back to where she sat now staring at her hands. Fearing he was invading her space Spike moved to stand from the bed, butt he firm grip of her hand on his bicep stilled him.

“I need to go…I have to…Dawn…the funeral arrangements,” She frowned deeply, but only for a split second at the last words. She then looked at Spike. “But could you…” She gulped down the rest of her words and tried to hold back the tears that were companying them, but they got away from her and spilled down her cheeks. Without hesitation Spike enveloped her in his arms and held on to her tightly as she clung to him and softly cried.

“For as long as you like luv.” He said softly.

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