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Chapter 10

They got back to Spike’s apartment and Buffy went to change into her pajamas while Spike was just sitting on his bed thinking about things. Buffy then walked into his room and jumped on his bed. He laughed as he looked at her. “You wanna talk?” She said as she made herself comfortable. Spike leaned back a little.

“What do you wanna talk about?” Buffy thought about it.

“What happened with your ex-girlfriend? If you don’t mind me asking.” Spike figured she would ask that sooner or later.

“We were together for about four years and things were good, at least I thought they were. Drusilla was always a little crazy, but I loved her. It turns out that I wasn’t good enough for her though. She was cheating on me for most of our relationship and I was too blind to see it or maybe I just didn’t want to.” Buffy shook her head; she couldn’t believe how heartless that woman was.

“It was her loss.” Spike gave her a smile.

“Damn right it was. So, how about you? Why did things not work out in your relationship?” Spike asked her.

“I was with Riley for two years and it was fine. He was a little boring, but I was okay with that. Incase you haven’t noticed I’m not all that exciting either. Anyway, he may have been boring but it turned out he was just like every other guy which means he was only after one thing. We went to the Prom together and he figured that it being the Prom and all that I would end up having sex with him at the end of it. Well, I refused and he wasn’t so happy about that. He broke up with me the next day saying that it would be better if we saw other people, but I knew he only wanted someone that would sleep with him.” Spike nodded.

“Yep, I was right before. He is a bloody idiot.” Buffy smiled at that.

“So, I guess you can figure out that I’m a virgin since Riley was my only boyfriend. I’m okay to admit that, not ashamed at all.” She said and Spike raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I can tell you’re not ashamed. That’s good, you shouldn’t be. Your first time should be special; you shouldn’t rush into it with someone that is only with you because he plans on getting laid and then dumps you because he doesn’t get what he wants. Did I mention before that he was a bloody idiot?” Buffy laughed.

“I think it was mentioned.” Buffy looked away and then back at him with a serious expression on her face. “I was just wondering and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. How did your sister die?” Spike didn’t want to talk about that, but he couldn’t deny her anything and she seemed like she really wanted to know.

“There was a car accident. I was driving and a truck crashed into us on the passenger side. Cara was killed instantly; I’ve always blamed myself for the accident even though I was told that it wasn’t my fault. I never wanted to believe it. She was only 16 when it happened. After my parents died I promised myself that I would look out for her and I didn’t do that. They would be so disappointed in me.” He said as tears started to form in his eyes. Buffy moved closer to him and put her arm around him. He rested his head on her chest and she just held him.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault. You did the best you could and I’m sure your parents know that. They would be proud of you no matter what.” She whispered to him. Spike looked up at her.

“Thank you,” he said and she wiped his tears away like he did for her earlier.

“I’m sorry; I probably shouldn’t have gotten so personal.” Spike shook his head and sat up again.

“No, I needed to talk about it. I’ve kept it inside for too long.” Buffy nodded even though she still felt bad. She then decided that it was about time that she told him what has been bothering her. She took a deep breath before she spoke.

“He’s sick.” She said as she looked down and Spike looked at her not sure what she meant. She looked back up at him and took another breath. “My dad is sick. He has Cancer and there may be nothing they can do to help him.” Spike now felt bad for her.

“I’m sorry, pet. Is that what’s been bothering you?” Buffy nodded.

“I found out about a month ago. I’m helping as best I can, but I don’t think it’s enough. I can’t lose him, Spike. I already lost my mom I can’t lose him, too. He’s all I have left.” Spike then put his arm around her and tried to comfort her like she did for him.

“It’ll be alright, Buffy. I’m sure your father will get through this.” Buffy sighed as she leaned into his embrace.

“I wish I believed that.” She pulled away after a few seconds and looked at him and he was confused by the look she was giving him until she moved closer and kissed him on the lips. Spike was taken by surprise at first and then started to kiss her back. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and let out a moan. She pushed him down on the bed and got on top of him as she continued to kiss him. Spike then realized what was going to happen and gently pushed her away. He tried to catch his breath as he looked up at her flushed face.

“Buffy, are you sure about this?” Buffy thought about it and then nodded.

“I want you, Spike. Make me forget about everything.” She told him and he wasn’t one to be told twice. He cupped her face and brought her lips back to his. He slipped his hand underneath her shirt and gently caressed her back. Spike then broke away long enough for him to switch positions so that he was now on top of her. He found her lips again and started to kiss a trail down her neck. Spike stopped to look at her before he continued to make sure that this was really what she wanted. The look she gave him said it all. He brushed some hair out of her face and looked into her eyes.

“You are so beautiful.” He whispered and she smiled up at him. She couldn’t believe that she was really going to do this, but she didn’t care because when she looked in his eyes she knew that everything would be alright. He once again captured his lips with hers and she was soon lost in him.





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