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She was dreaming she knew she was but it looked so real. Standing behind a window was William, he looked so sad. She didn’t know where he was but he standing outside looking up at the stars and muttering something, all around people were hurrying past. She banged the window but he didn’t even flinch, she shouted until she saw a door appear to the right of her. She looked at him one last time before rushing to the door and going outside. She gasped when she saw him turn and the shock on his face was suddenly replaced with confusion as he looked around him. She ran up to him and tried to touch him but her arm went straight through him. Instead she looked up sadly at the sky with him and said “I miss you”. She heard him mutter “I miss you Buffy”. She looked at him carefully but saw no reaction to her presence. So she looked back up the stars and said “I’m going to come back to you Will”. He stiffened and whispered “Your already dead, luv”.

She felt the tears fall and she whispered back to him “I’m not dead Spike; you need to talk to Willow, please”. He turned slightly almost facing her and said “I can’t, I’m moving on”. Then all so suddenly she woke up.

She felt his hand first before she heard the beeping. She stretched and winced and said “God giving birth kills.” She felt the hand tighten and heard him say “You’re awake.” Buffy rolled her eyes and said “Like I was going to stay sleeping when I just had a baby.” Spike smiled softly reminding her of Spike and said “You had us worried, luv”. She looked at him in the eyes and said “Why?” Spike scrunched his eyebrows and said “You were in a coma for a week luv.” She sat up straighter and said “What?” Spike’s eyebrow raised and said “You don’t remember?” She shook her head and said “My my baby?” Spike sighed and said “A little small but he’s a healthy one”. Buffy eyes brightened and said “He?” Spike smiled almost proudly and said “Yep, and he takes after me, even got my eyes.” Buffy almost laughed but she brought her hand up and caressed his face and said tiredly “ I bet he does, can I see him?”

He nodded and said “I’ll get the doctor.” Buffy tilted her head as he walked out, he was almost giddy, so like William. She shook her head, it was Spike, yes he was kind and sometimes sweet but he was still a vampire and not someone she should think about being with, not when there was a chance of being with her William.

Spike returned with a doctor but no baby. The doctor smiled warmly at her and said “glad to see your awake Mrs Summers. Now how are you feeling?” Buffy shrugged and said “Like I gave birth and was in a coma for a week. Can I see my son?” The doctor laughed and said “Yes but we have to take you to him and not the other way around because at the moment he is weak and can catch infections easily so we need to limit the contact with people. So only you two are allowed to visit him.” Buffy nodded processing the information quickly and then she noticed the wheel chair. She opened her mouth but Spike was too quick and said “You need to stay seated and relaxed to recover ok, pet.” Buffy frowned but seeing his look nodded and let herself be seated in the wheel chair.

The arrived quickly and she gasped as she took her first look at their child. He was tiny and frail but so cute. She couldn’t really tell the facial features but she could tell that he was theirs. He had a tuff of brown hair that curled at the top and his eyes were open staring at her and they were defiantly his blue. She carefully placed her hand in the container and put her finger in his hand which he held softly. He had a small drip but that was all, she had expected a tube down his nose but there wasn’t. She wanted desperately to help him but she couldn’t.

She took her hand out and said “Shouldn’t he be bigger, I was nearly to term, I thought…” Spike smiled and said “All Babes are different pet, he just wasn’t really ready to come out physically but he wanted to say hello to the world early, they had to help him breathe but on the second day the little bit was breathing on his own.” Buffy smiled and put her hand back to his hand and stroked him, she turned a little and said “When can I hold him?” Spike replied “The doctor thinks as early as next week, he’s recovering well. Buffy?” She stopped and pulled her hand out and turned to him hearing the tone in his voice. He knelt to her level and took her hands in his and said “Thankyou for telling me and letting me see all this”. Buffy shrugged and said “technically you are his father and I love William, I needed you there. Thankyou Spike for being there for us.”

Buffy fell asleep that night with the image of her not yet named son in her arms.

She felt his arms around her and she leant into him, ironically mimicking the image in her dream many years ago. She smiled and kissed him on the mouth and said “He looks just like you.” She heard him whisper in her ear “More like his mum, pet, gorgeous.” She turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck kissing him on his pulse point. “I don’t know how I am going to do this without you, I need you” She whispered into his neck, He pulled her tighter and said “I am always here for you.” She shook her head and felt the tears coming down her face and said “But your not, your in some other world where I’m dead and now you have gone and your moving on and I am trying I am but I don’t know if I will ever get…” He cut her off with a kiss and pulled back only when she was out of breathe and said “You will find a way and then I will be there but for now you need to concentrate on Little William.” Buffy tilted her head and said “Little William?” He smiled and said “Isn’t that what you wanted to call him?” Buffy looked confused and he said “You forget, luv, I know what goes on inside that head of yours.” Buffy smiled and relaxed into his arms and said “Do you think it would be weird, Calling William?” He kissed her forehead and said “I told you before you can name him whatever you like and I will love it.” She smiled and said “Do you like William Tobias Summers, Toby for short?” He smiled and said “I love it”. Suddenly in her arms appeared her baby and they both smiled at each other and said “Hey Toby”.





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