CHAPTER 11

When they were younger, Buffy had often had fights and quarrels with Spike. But never, ever had he looked at her with such anger.

“I’m sorry,” she said in a trembling voice.

“I didn’t ask you to apologize. I want an explanation,” he replied coldly.

She didn’t dare to look at him, couldn’t bear to see him look at her that way.

“Willow told me you had asked her to do some research on Riley. So she called his former university in Iowa. And they gave her a phone number.”

“Did they say anything else?”

Buffy sighed. Why had she hidden all this from him? That was probably the stupidest thing she had ever done. “The woman on the phone told Willow to stay away from Riley. That he was dangerous. And to call the number if we wanted more information.”

Spike’s nostrils flared. “Dangerous, huh? And since when did you know this?”

“A few days before Will and Xander’s wedding.”

“You knew this at the wedding?” he asked, unable to conceal the hurt from his eyes.

“Yes. Spike, I’m sorry…”

“I don’t care, Buffy. You lied to me. You knew Riley was dangerous and you didn’t tell me!”

His voice had risen again and he tried to calm down. But he was furious. She had deliberately hidden the truth from him, and therefore had put herself in danger. “Did you call that number then?”

She shook her head. “Not immediately. I know now it was stupid, but I didn’t give what the woman said much credit. I wanted to put Riley behind me, and I preferred to ignore it. I thought I could handle him if need be.”

He laughed ironically. “Handle him? Buffy, look at you for God’s sake!” He exclaimed, referring to the bandages on her head.

“I know!” she exclaimed, anger rising as well. “And shouting at me won’t make it better. I’m the one with the bump in the forehead remember? I’m the only one to blame.”

He passed his hand through his hair and lowered his tone. “So when did you call that number?”

“When Riley started stalking me. Two or three days ago.”

She told him about her phone call to Janet Maclay and what had presumably happened with Tara. By the end of her story, Spike was chalk white.

“And you didn’t think that the fact that your ex-boyfriend was dangerous and almost killed a girl was serious enough for you to call me?” he finally asked quietly.

“I…I didn’t want to bother you. And until two days ago, I hadn’t realize how serious it was, I swear.”

He simply looked at her, at the white gauze covering her forehead, her pale face, her green eyes holding back tears. She tried to reason him.

“Spike, even if I had told you, what difference would it have made? You couldn’t come, you had to work. I couldn’t ask you to come here and baby-sit me 24/7, right? I wanted to call you, I did…but I honestly thought I could take care of it.”

He sat on the table in front of her. He didn’t look angry anymore, but he had a morose face that Buffy didn’t like much more.

He sighed. “You’re right, I wouldn’t probably have made a difference. In fact, none of this would have happened if we hadn’t gotten involved with each other in the first place.”

Buffy felt an icy claw grasping her heart. “Spike, no. We couldn’t…”

“Buffy, face it. What did you gain by being with me? Nothing, except getting hurt. That’s it.”

“That’s not true!” she protested vehemently, taking his hand in hers. “I don’t regret one single moment we had together. It’s worth it, remember?”

“Well, look what good it did to you,” he said in a weary voice, pointing at her wound. “I told your dad I would take care of you. I did a bloody grand job of it, didn’t I?”

“Spike, please, don’t talk this way. What happened with Riley is not your fault. He probably would have lost it one day or another.”

She was feeling sick to her stomach. She had never seen him look so somber and like he was ready to give up. She realized now that he probably had had his own doubts about the whole situation, and unfortunately, what had happened tonight seemed to have reinforced them.

He got up. “You should go to bed. It’s getting late, and you have to rest. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Her heart fell in her chest. “Spike, please, don’t let this separate us. Please.”

He gave her a look of slight surprise. “I never said that. But you’ve been through a lot tonight, and it would be reasonable for you to get some rest.”

She nodded, swallowing her tears. She walked to him and kissed him on the cheek. He kissed her back absentmindedly.

Trying very hard not to burst into sobs, Buffy made her way to the stairs.

“Buffy…” Spike said. She turned back to him, hopeful. “Your painkillers,” he reminded her, handing her the box.

“Oh…Thank you,” she managed to say in a high-pitched voice.

This was turning into a nightmare. And she’d rather have Riley stalking her for the rest of her life than have Spike behaving almost like a stranger to her. Of course she had acted foolishly by lying to him and he had every right to be mad at her. But she would never let Riley, or any doubts, come between them.

All her own doubts had vanished as soon as he had entered the house tonight. She loved him, and she knew he loved her. They had a chance at being happy together, and she would fight for that with every fiber of her being.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

One hour later, she was still tossing and turning in her bed. There was no way she could sleep, knowing Spike was in the house and with that sudden emotional distance between them. Not after the love, passion and tenderness they had share only a few days ago.

The painkillers the doctor had given her were strong ones, and she was feeling dizzy and light-headed. At least her forehead wasn’t hurting anymore.

The door to his room was open, and the soft sound of the television revealed that he was still downstairs. She carefully descended the stairs, stopping before entering the living room.

Despite the situation, she smiled. There was an air of déjà vu, what with Spike lying on the couch and herself standing there, watching him. It reminded her of that night three years ago. The night of his mom’s funeral, and the first time they had kissed.

At times like this, she really missed Joyce’s presence more than ever. She always knew how to make things right. But Buffy wasn’t a little girl anymore, and Joyce was gone. And she had a stalking ex-boyfriend and a stepbrother turned lover to deal with.

She walked to the couch and he raised his head. “I thought I told you to get some sleep. You’ll never heal properly if you stay up all night,” he scolded her.

“I can’t sleep if you’re mad at me. I can’t be alone in my bed if I know you’re only a few feet away,” she said calmly, showing that she had every intention to stay and clear things out.

Spike closed his eyes for a second. “I can’t sleep either”, he finally admitted, and reached for her hand. “Come here.”

Repressing a sigh of relief, she slipped into his open arms. They kissed fervently, holding each other tightly. Then he pulled away and looked into her eyes. “I was so scared when that police officer called me,” he said, his voice shaking slightly, either by the kiss or the reminiscence of that phone call. Or possibly both. “I can’t lose you, Buffy. I can’t.”

“And you won’t. I’m here, and I love you. Always,” she assured him, putting soft kisses on his cheeks and jaw before reaching his lips for another searing kiss.

“I’m sorry for not telling you about Riley.”

“I know. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you better.”

She took his face in her hands. “Spike, listen to me. For the last time, it’s not your fault. It’s not mine. We can’t go against our feelings, and we certainly couldn’t guess that Riley was a psycho. Things have not been easy for us, and if we have a single chance to find happiness, I won’t let this come between us. You’re everything to me, and I won’t let you walk away so easily.”

“I have no intention of going away, ever,” he affirmed her, kissing her forehead near her wound. “But I admit I had doubts. I asked myself a lot of questions. But when I got that awful phone call, all the doubts were gone. Then I heard you had lied to me about Finn, and they peeked their ugly heads again. But it didn’t last. And I never doubted my love for you. Never,” he finished softly.

She smiled. “Neither did I. That part was very clear in my head.”

She rested said head on his chest and they entangled their legs, making themselves comfortable. Spike put his arm around her waist and pressed her tightly against him, as if he was afraid she might disappear. His hand moved in a soothing motion on her back, and sleep finally took her over, now that she was finally safe and at peace in his arms.

He watched over her tenderly for a moment before succumbing to sleep as well.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Riley walked into his office and put his bag on the chair. The door slammed violently behind him and he jumped. Turning back, he found Spike standing in front of him, looking like he was about to rip somebody’s guts. Most likely his.

Riley raised his hands. “The police already came this morning, and I told them I had nothing to do with it. So leave me alone, ok?”

Spike grabbed him by the collar, his eyes blazing fire. “I don’t give a shit about what you told the police, you pathetic wanker. If you ever go near Buffy again, if you touch a single hair on her head, I’ll personally take care of you. Am I making myself clear?”

Riley nodded frantically. “Yes! Let me go! You have nothing against me!”

Spike pushed him away with a disgusted look. “Just one single hair,” he repeated before leaving.

Riley caught his breath and straightened his shirt. He had expected to see the police, but not Atherton. Well, not so soon. He knew he had to be careful now, but if he had gotten away with things so easily the first time, there was no reason it wouldn’t work this time as well. And he hadn’t been able to resist playing with Buffy’s nerves a little bit.

Now all he had to do was wait for the right moment.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

When Buffy woke up, she was alone in her bed. At some point last night, Spike had probably brought her here, but she didn’t know if he had stayed with her or not.

She wasn’t feeling her best. The hit on her head and emotions of yesterday were taking their toll. She was looking for her painkillers when the door opened and Spike walked in, holding an orange juice.

“Hey there, sleepyhead,” he said, smiling. He came to sit beside her. “How are you feeling?”

“Not my usually brilliant self,” she admitted. “Is this fresh orange juice?”

“Specially squeezed for the invalid,” he joked, handing it to her, as well as a painkiller.

“Thanks.” She took it and drank. Once finished, Spike placed the glass on the nightstand and then caressed her hair tenderly.

“Why don’t you stay in bed today and rest? I already called the school and told them you wouldn’t go.”

“Thank you,” she repeated, taking his hand and putting it on her cheek, savouring the feel of it. “I think I’ll do just that. Will you stay with me for a bit?” she asked with puppy eyes.

He smiled, took off his shoes and sat against the headboard, putting his arms around her. With a sigh of pleasure, she rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head.

“What time is it, by the way?”

“11.30. I bought some stuff for lunch, if you feel hungry later.”

“You went out?”

He hesitated. “Yes…did some grocery shopping…and went to see a bloke who needed a good warning.”

There was a silence then Buffy got up on her elbow and watched him. “You went to see Riley?”

“Yeah…I really wanted to give him the thrashing of his life, but it would have put me in a problematic situation…I just threatened him not to come near you again.”

“Wow…what did he say?”

“Just that the police had already asked him some questions, and that he had nothing to do with it.”

“Liar,” Buffy muttered. “He’s a sick freak. I’m sure he just wanted to play with my nerves, last night. Maybe he’ll understand, now that he knows both the police and you have an eye on him. Thank you. You’re my knight in shining armour,” she said, kissing his jaw.

Spike smiled. “I won’t let anyone hurt my girl,” he said, stroking her arm tenderly.

But a disturbing thought was creeping in his mind. He was so furious that he had come to see Riley without thinking about anything else but the fact that he had touched Buffy. But as she had said, he was a sick, dangerous freak.

What if instead of scaring him, he had pissed off the bastard even more?





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