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CHAPTER 14

Around five pm, his cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Spike, it’s Darla. I know you’re in Sunnydale but I wanted to let you know I was back. Is everything ok?”

Suddenly, hearing Darla’s soft voice was too much. He had spent all day balancing between several emotions, from fear, to numbness, to helplessness and anger. When Willow and Xander had come he had already been on the verge of breaking down. He had restrained himself several times, but now he was too tired to fight it.

He tried to say something, but only a chocked sound escaped from his throat.

“Spike? Are you crying? Oh God, what’s going on?”

He rubbed his hand on his chest, trying to explain the situation the best he could between the heart wrenching sobs.

“I’m coming,” Darla finally said.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

He put the phone on the table next to him and resumed his position at Buffy’s side.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Darla walked into the room silently. Spike was sitting beside Buffy, caressing her hair and whispering soft words to her.

Darla approached the bed and Spike turned his head, noticing her.

“Hey…”

He got up and took her in his arms. Or rather, she took him in hers.

She had never seen him like this. And she was positive it was the first time she had seen him cry. And why would he? He was a successful actor in a popular TV show, and more importantly he had a caring family and friends. He had no reason to be unhappy. Of course he had had bad days like anyone else, but nothing that would put him in the state she was witnessing now.

The remnants of tears were streaking his cheeks. He was dishevelled, and there were brownish spots on his shirt that were probably dried blood. But what struck her the most was the fear she read in his blue eyes.

“How is she?” Darla asked softly.

“Still unconscious. The nurse told me it was normal. She might not wake up before tomorrow morning. But it would be better if she woke up before the next 24 hours. If she doesn’t, then…”

He let the end of the sentence hang in the hair, passing his hand on his face with a tired sigh.

“You got here fast,” he noticed, looking at the clock on the wall.

“I…I called David, and a friend of his has a private jet. He brought me here.”

“David’s here?”

“No, he stayed in LA. He said to call if you needed anything.”

She watched him closely, worried by his more than usual paleness. “Spike, have you eaten anything today?”

“No, I was too…I couldn’t. I didn’t want to leave Buffy.”

“But you’ll be useless to her if you die of starvation,” she joked lightly. “Come on. The cafeteria is still open.”

“Darla, I don’t think…”

She glared at him. “Spike, that was an order. No discussion allowed.”

Spike looked at Buffy. The truth was, he was starting to feel slightly light-headed, and his stomach was growling unpleasantly. Maybe just a quick bite…

“All right, you bossy chit,” he finally gave in, and the barest hint of a smile appeared on his face. They walked out of the room, and Spike asked the nurse to let him know immediately if Buffy woke up while he was away.

The cafeteria was almost empty. Spike bought a sandwich, and Darla took just a coffee. They sat down and Darla stayed silent while Spike ate. He got a coffee too, and started to regain some colour.

“Thank you for coming,” he told her.

“It’s natural. I can only imagine how hard it must be. I know how much you love her.”

More than anything in this world,” he replied without thinking, just before realizing whom he was talking to.

Darla smiled at his contrite face. “Spike…don’t worry. I know. Well, I wasn’t totally sure until this very minute, but I had my suspicions.”

“Darla, I’m sorry. I wanted…”

She interrupted him. “I said not to worry. And to be honest…I’m in love with someone else.”

It took some time for the information to process, then Spike opened his eyes wide. “Huh?”

She smiled and took his hand. “Didn’t see that coming, did you?”

He shook his head. “Not really…that was supposed to be my line,” he said, chuckling softly. “And…who is it? Someone I know?”

Darla swallowed nervously. “It’s David.”

“David…you mean David, as in my cast mate?”

She nodded, unsure of his reaction. And Spike wasn’t sure about his reaction either. After all, David was his colleague and one of his best friends. Yet Darla and him and had managed to fall in love behind his back. He didn’t know what to feel about that.

Then again, he himself had fallen head over heels for Buffy, and hadn’t resist very much, sleeping with her while he was still engaged to Darla. So maybe he shouldn’t throw them too many stones.

“How did that happen?” he asked, curious nonetheless.

“Rather unexpectedly. I always had a nice relationship with him. Lately, we spent some time together. When I was with him, I had all those feelings…the kind of feelings I should have had for you. He didn’t press anything…I was the one who talked to him about it, and he confessed he loved me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Because I was feeling guilty. And David was feeling very bad about it, because he’s your friend. But we realized it would be stupid to go on like this. God knows I was feeling horrible when I decided to break up with you.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling, believe me.”

She smiled softly. “I guess the two of us just weren’t meant to be. And we were lucky to have figured it out before it was too late. Also extremely fortunate to have found our significant others in the process, don’t you think?”

“Yeah…I wish my significant other wasn’t laying in a hospital bed all battered and bruised,” he said, a cloud shadowing his face.

Darla squeezed his hand slightly. “She’ll be alright,” she told him with confidence.

Spike nodded, but the gloomy look on his face remained.

“So, tell me. How did it happen with the two of you?”

Like she had hoped, a faint smile reappeared on his face. “Like you, kinda out of nowhere. Although Buffy told me she had been in love with me for several years…and I begin to wonder if I wasn’t feeling the same way, without realizing it. I think it’s the kiss that started it.”

“The one that made the cover of the Hello magazine?”

“No. The first one we shared three years ago. The night of my mum’s funeral. I thought it had been done out of a need for comfort…until we kissed again on the back porch. That’s when I realized I had strong feelings for her, and not at all the brotherly kind. And too strong to be ignored. And God knows I tried, because at that moment I was really set on marrying you…there was no way I would take my word back. But it soon became an impossible situation. Like you said, what’s the point of staying with someone if you deeply love someone else? You’ll just end up make everyone unhappy. And when Finn hurt her the first time, I knew there was no way I could live without her.”

Spike smiled, feeling better now that he had explained it all to Darla, at being able to talk honestly to her, and better yet, to be able to do it without hurting her. That meant that their friendship wouldn’t suffer, which he valued greatly.

“You know that if you make your relationship with Buffy public – and you won’t really have a choice – you’ll have to explain why you lied about that kiss a few weeks ago.”

“I know. But believe me, it’s the farthest thing from my mind right now. I’ll deal with it when it’s necessary. Do you want something else?” he asked, noticing her cup was empty.

“No, thanks. I know you want to go back to her. And David’s friend is waiting for me at the airport. I’d better go.”

They went back to the hall and stopped in front of Buffy’s door. Spike took her in his arms. “Thank you so much for coming, Darla.”

She hugged him. “First and foremost, we are friends. I’m glad things are clear between us.”

“David is a lucky guy. I’ll make sure he realizes that,” Spike said with a smile.

“Oh, he does. It’s your friendship he was worrying about.”

“Tell him our friendship is ok as long as he treats you right.”

“And give Buffy a hug for me when she wakes up, ok?”

“I will,” he said, and for the first time he was feeling a little bit more optimistic.
She gave him a last hug before leaving. Spike came back into Buffy’s room and sat back on the chair. He caressed her face softly.

“I’m back, sweetheart. Hey, you know what? I just talked to Darla and we’re good. I’m a free man now. So you can wake up. We don’t need to hide or feel guilty anymore. I want to whole world to know how much I love you. And I need to hear you tell it to me.”

He rose slightly and placed a feather light kiss on her lips. “I’ll stay here until you wake up. I’ll be here when you open your eyes.”

He put his head on the sheet next to her arm and closed his eyes.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


He woke up by the feeling of a hand caressing his head. Groggily, he looked at Buffy and met her green gaze.

Her eyes were open, and she was looking at him with a soft smile.





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