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-Ok, this will probably sound completely weird, but I’m writing this while shuffling songs on my stereo and I’m going to write whatever pops into my head for each one, feedback would be cool, good or bad.- Also, all my stories usually end in favor of Spuffy, but some might end rather...not so sappy. Oh and some and maybe most will be short..-


1 - On What Pain Is

~I’ll wash my bloody hands and we’ll start a new life~
(Good Charlotte, Bloody Valentine)

Sometimes things are simple, too simple. Sometimes things are way to difficult. Then sometimes things get rough...way too rough. Not only had Spike hurt Buffy, but he lost every bit of trust that she may have had for him.

That night in the bathroom changed everything that they had ever had together. Which to the average person didn’t seem like a whole lot. To Spike, it was a relationship. To Buffy, it was just a meaningless affair caused by pain, loneliness, or just plain old lust. But he was a part of her. And always would be.

Unfortunately he couldn’t accept the fact that she didn’t love him and he had to make that clear to her. Of course attempting to rape her wasn’t exactly the smartest way to show her that.

Buffy hadn’t truly experienced pain until that night. Not that sort of emotional pain, sure she had felt it, but only to an extent of course. Spike changed that for her and rather quickly. Now, she had felt authentic physical and emotional pain all at the same time and for the same exact reason.

Their relationship would never be the same again. No matter what Spike would do, nothing could make up for the horrible clash that he’d caused. Nothing would ever take away the pain in Buffy’s heart.

Somehow she knew that he left before she went to his crypt. Something deep down just told her that he had left. Upon finding his jacket draped on the railing, she felt a twinge of regret. Regret for everything that she had ever done with that...that...monster.

Unfortunately for her, the end wasn’t even near for them. Many mixed signals and looks and words would be exchanged in the future, when the man that caused her so much would return, with a soul. Only to hurt her even more. But this time, not in a physical way, but by making her feel guilty for regretting that she had been with him. Because he was a changed man. A man that was constantly followed overhead, by a black cloud of pain.

In knowing Spike, Buffy learned a lesson, a lesson on what pain is.





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