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2 - Competition

~Angels deserve to die~
(System of a Down)

What panged Spike the most wasn’t the fact that Buffy didn’t see him as much more than a thing, but it was the fact that he had to always try to better. Be better than her previous love affair with a certain vampire.

Angel wasn’t exactly the perfect adversary. Of course, It wasn’t as if Spike had a choice in the matter of who he had to compete with. He always had to act as if he were a gentleman. Act as if he had a soul when he did not. Act as if he were human.

Granted Angel wasn’t human, but he was damn well close to it with his bleedin’ soul and his romantic and mysterious ways. Never in his whole lifetime had Spike had to do something so difficult like loving a slayer who had already been loved.

Being honest with himself, if he had a choice, he would have never fallen deeply in love with Buffy. Then again, if he had a choice, he would kill Angel. Of course that was no way to win the slayers delicate heart.

So he would just deal. Let the lust work it’s will. Accept the fact that he could never be as good as Angel and accept the fact that Buffy would never love him. It was plain and simple. Ok, maybe not simple. But very problematical. Though despite not wanting to be less-than-perfect, he lived with it. Because he loved her and would do anything that it would take to stay with her.

Even if it didn’t last long. It didn’t last long in fact. Because he wasn’t Angel. Because he didn’t have a soul and because in her eyes, he was only a ‘thing’. Angel, that bastard who cursed Spike’s life, deserved to die.





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