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Chapter 19 Don’t Even Try to Deny it

Dawn was silently sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine as she watch some television. She hears sounds of people who seem to be talking at the front porch. Then the door opened up to reveal a laughing Buffy with Spike who seemed to have just told her a joke. “Hey you guys, thought you’d be out all night.” She greeted.

“Oh, hey Dawn.” Buffy hanged her coat by the rack and she and William went into the living room. “What are you doing? Are you done with your homework?”

Dawn rolled her eyes; Buffy sometimes can be so mom like. “Yes, Buffy, I’m done. Plus it’s a weekend tomorrow.” As she flip another page. “Mom said she’d be home late and that we can have something delivered. How does pizza sound to you guys?”

Buffy groaned, “Pizza again, Dawnie. We just had that yesterday.” She brightens up, “How about some chines instead? What do you say Will?”

William who had been quiet in the whole exchange of the two sisters nodded. “Anything is really fine with me, luv.”

“Umm… Buffy?” she called at her sister as she waved a hand in her face. “They don’t deliver…”

“Oh,” Buffy said with a pout, “I was really hoping for some of those egg rolls…” Then an idea flooded Buffy’s brain. She looked intently in William’s eye, pleading can be seen through them.

William noticed the familiar green eyes staring at him, she didn’t need to say anything, he totally understood what she wanted him to do. He just chuckled and threw his hands up in the air, “Okay! I’ll go and drive you up some Chinese.”

A genuine smile spreads across her features, “Thanks!”

He just returned her smile, “I bloody well don’t want to see this house burn if any of you girls try to cook something. Have no plan of sleeping in the streets tonight,” he playfully joked. Earning a punch in the arm from Buffy and a pillow in the chest from the younger Summer. “I’d better go before I become all dent.” He again received a pillow in the side from Dawn but he just glared back at her, a playful glare. She laughed, as he grabbed his coat and started for the door.

“Don’t forget my egg rolls!” Buffy called after him. He just nodded his head and shut the door behind him. “So anything good on the television, Dawnie.” She turned back to her sister.

“Not remotely.” Was her only response as she flipped another page of her magazine. Seeing how there is really not much to see, Buffy clicked the television off and began to fumble through a pile of magazine as well. “So, how’d it go with you and Spike?” Dawn asked breaking the silence.

Buffy looked up from the articled she was reading, “It was okay, I had fun… I guess.”

Dawn rolled her eyes heavenwards, “That’s not what I meant.” She looked at her with question, Dawn just sighed, “I know we’re never really that close Buffy but I was just curious what’s going on between you and Spike. I mean it’s obvious his your boyfriend…”

Buffy wouldn’t even let Dawn finished her sentence as she spaced out, “He’s not my boyfriend!” she said in a tone that can clearly be identified as defensiveness. “We’re just friends…” she tried to cover, knowing how her voice sounded like.

“Humph, classic!” Dawn said with a smile on her face, eyes glittering.

“What do you mean classic?” she asked with suspicion.

“Come on Buffy, don’t lie to me. I can see it, you’re in it with Spike.” Buffy was about to say something but she raised her hand to stop her, “And don’t even try to deny it!”

“I don’t have to deny it, Dawn, Because he’s. Not. My. Boyfriend.” Buffy insisted on the head of her oh so stubborn sister; “at least he didn’t say we are.” She whispered as if it were a wish.

Dawn had to move in closer to actually hear what she had to say, did she just say, ‘he didn’t say we are’. So Buffy wants it to be that way? She asked in her head and decided that asking herself won’t really get her any answers, “So you want to be with him?”

Buffy gave out a sigh, she can’t believe she was about to talk to sister about this stuff, “I really don’t know, Dawn.” Dawn was not convinced, so she looked into her eyes and asked if she’s sure she does not know. “Okay, maybe we have gone out already… for the last month or so. I mean I’m not sure if it’s can be called dating exactly… but it felt that way to me but I’m not sure about him.”

“Why don’t you ask him.”

“It’s not that simple, Dawnie.” She can’t quite see herself opening her heart to a new person and letting it get shattered into a million pieces again. Deep down inside she knows that he would never deliberately hurt her, ever, but that still does not assure her that when she showed him her true feelings he would return them. Before he said that he did had feelings for her but that they need time to settle things let the pain heal. And she agreed, but after that revelation he never really showed interest again at least not in words.

Dawn was getting irritated, sure she may not know a lot about adult relationships and stuff. But why is it always so hard for adults to say to a person that they love then or that they want to be with them. It’s like brain surgery the way they make it seem like. Why can’t they just go out and say it. “Yes, it is! There is nothing wrong in liking somebody, Buffy. I’m sure if you ask him you’ll get an answer.”

“Yeah.” Was her reply, but will it be the answer she wants?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

About an hour later the threesome was sitting by the couch watching a movie on the DVD player munching on some noodles. Buffy and William were sitting on the couch side by side; Dawn sprawled out on the floor legs up swaying. “Oh! I love this part!” she would chime in from time to time. She gave out a yawn, “That was a great movie, but I think I’ll be turning in.” Dawn stated as she began to get up and grab the empty food packages and proceeded to the kitchen and up the stairs not forgetting to secretly give her sister the thumbs up.

Buffy gave out a sigh and gave her sister a vague smile.

William was pulling the CD out of the player and replacing it back on it’s case, “Did you say something, luv?” he asked hearing the other blonde’s sigh. Buffy just stared at him, should she ask him or not? How the hell is she suppose to start? He was fastly approaching her and she had no idea what to say, she can’t remember the last time she became tongue tied around anybody. To her relief he started placing his palm on her cheek cupping her face, “Are you okay, Buffy?”

Unconsciously she was leaning into his hand, enjoying his touch. Abruptly he took off his hand, which made her aware of her movements and opened her eyes. His eyes were directly looking at her. She can’t quite read what it said.

He breathed in deep and swallowed a lump on his throat, “Buffy.” Her eyes were locked with his trying to read his mind. “I know what I said before and it will totally contradict to what I’m going to tell you now. I know I told you that time would heal pain… but that’s not true. Time could lessen the pain, yes. But time can’t make you forget it can’t stop you from wondering if it might happen again. You probably still are in pain, afraid to open your heart.” ‘Was he reading her mind, was he listening to her and Dawn’s conversation?’ she asked herself. “I-I don’t know how to say this…” he whispered. But seeing Buffy’s eyes full of understanding, ready to listen to everything he needed to say he continued, “I had enough of time, Buffy. Its is being wasted, it passes through our palms because of fear… uncertainty… and whatever excuse it is that people make.” He held her hands in his, a simple touch that meant so much, “I don’t want to waste time anymore and I don’t care what you are going to say after this… or how you’re going to react because God knows it’s killing me trying to stop this feeling.” He breathed out, “But I can’t. Buffy, I love you…”

Buffy listened to everything he said, every word making her stomach turn anticipating the moment he got to his point. And when he said those words, ‘I love you’ she wanted the moment to last. She wished that she could stop time and bask in it. Right there she realize that she also felt the same about him. All this time she was denying it to everyone convincing them that there was nothing beyond friendship between the two of them. Need she know that she was also convincing herself in the process as well trying to bury the feelings she felt for him the first time they met.

There were always obstacles in their path and she used that as an excuse over and over again but now, she’s not going to hide anymore. It’s time to be truthful. She took a deep breath prepared to say her true feelings afraid that she would lose her courage.

“Shh… You don’t need to say anything. I know you would never hurt me. And you’re right we are wasting time. I would never get over the fact that my father walked out on me.” She fought back tears, “or the fact that I would never be more than a high school graduate. But I don’t care anymore, the flirting here and there; touches that make tingles run up my spine. I don’t want that.” She said head shaking left and right, she placed her free hand over theirs and held it tight, “I love you.” She finally concluded a smile on her beautiful face. “I guessed I always knew.’ She caressed his cheek, hands falling back behind his neck pulling him closer until their lips were once a mere inch apart.

As soon as their lips were about to meet, William pulled back a little, holding her away to be able to look at her clearly, “Are you sure, luv?”

“More than anything,” she breathed, her lips slightly parted she was trembling. Like she had waited an eternity to taste his lips yet again. Their lips met seizing the other, at first the slightest touch made them hunger for more. Their tongues danced an endless music. The sound of passion and longing can be heard as they tried to deepen the kiss until it left them both breathless.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They were slumped down on the couch; her head was resting on his shoulder as she dreamt the night away. Caressing the top of her head, he could kill himself for waiting this long before he had the guts to tell her he loved her. The feel of her on his body is something he had dreamed about and now here he was holding her to sleep and he never felt more contented.

The front door opened quietly, Joyce had been exhausted from the gallery. She saw that the light on the living room was still on she took a peak and saw her daughter cuddled up in the arms of William. She never saw her eldest look so peaceful; she deserved to be happy she recited in her mind. She had gone through enough suffering, she just hoped that this guy would treat her right. “Hello, William,” she whispered as to not wake up the sleeping form on the couch.

“Hey, Joyce.” He sat up feeling a little uncomfortable seeing the mother of the one he was caught in the couch with. “We just watched a movie… she sort of got sleepy.” He quickly covered; it was not entirely a lie.

Joyce just nodded her head, “Maybe you should wake her up, get her to go upstairs."

“No.” William stated, “I think she had a long day, best carry her up. Let her rest.” Joyce again just nodded in approval as she herself went up the steps and into her own bedroom.

William stood up and looked at his girlfriend’s sleeping form, he just smiled and thanked the heavens for such a gift. He scooped her up and proceeded up the stairs into her bedroom and settled her on her bed and tucked her in. She stirred a little but managed to get comfortable and fell back into a deep slumber.

He looked at her once again, “Goodnight, luv” he said as he placed a kiss on her forehead and went out the door.

“Goodnight.” Was her whispered answer.

to be continued...





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