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Well it’s been about a month now since we saved you. Fred thought that keeping a journal might help me deal with what she calls inner turmoil. I never would have though that I, of all people, would even put Angel to shame when it came to being all dark and broody. At least I have learned one or two things from him in all these years. I’m stuck, yet again in a damnable wheel chair. Why is it that you have an affinity for putting me in these bloody things? I guess I will never know.

This first month has been the hardest with me trapped in this damn chair and everyone trying to keep the truth from me. Chances are slim to none that you are ever going to wake up. I saved your body, but not your life.

I’ve been taking it out on everyone lately, especially Angel. Been sitting around and making everyone miserable even Bit.

Fred checks you all the time and Dawn and I take turns staying with you. We talk and tell you the things that are going on in our little world. It seems pretty small right now. Angel and his team are trying to make sure the partners of his hell driven law firm think that everything is on the up and up. Some new, well actually quite old evil working against them right now, called the Black Thorn something or the other. I happened to hear Angel talking about it the other day, vamp hearing and all. I’m worried that he’s going to do something stupid to jeopardize all of us. Knowing Angel he’ll probably try to infiltrate the Black Thorn so he can destroy them from the inside.

Angel is not one sometimes for well-thought out plans, that’s more of Angelus’ style. I just have a feeling in my gut, something big is going down and I’m going to be left out of all the glorious action because I still can’t walk yet.

I talked to Angel about what I can do to help, sitting all day is this bloody chair has me itching’ to fight. Poofter said all I would have to do is roll over some toes and I would have everyone on the run. He has taken yet again to calling me Sit and Spin when he is in a foul mood, which can be quite often lately. Makes me wonder if he’s not playing with a full sack again. That’s all we need is Angelus running around again mucking everything up.

Dawn is doing okay. She’s putting on a brave front for everyone. I know her and she’s frightened and worried about you. Wesley and Fred have been talking to her about maybe enrolling in college as a way for her to have something to do. Get her back into a normal swing of life. As much as I love the bit, I think it would be good for her to go. Having Nibblet around sad and weepy makes, me just brood even more. Feel like I am really turning into a sodded poof just like my Sire.

The doctors are around all the time doing all kinds of tests. They don’t know when you are going to wake up. They all say the same that there is no physical evidence that you should be in a coma, so it has to be something mystical, or that you just don’t want to wake up. Whatever the First did to you was severe. Not even the guru’s around here knows what to do, some say that there is no hope. A couple even said that we should just kill you to put you out of your misery. They of course are dead now. I won’t go into the details because I know you wouldn’t approve, but let’s just say that even wheelchair bound I still have some Big Bad left in me.

Well that’s all for right now. I will try to write more later. You have all my love with you, wherever you are. I swear to you that I will find a way to bring you back to us, no matter what it takes.





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