This story is wonderful!!!!!

...btw...I would love to see Spike give Buffy a taste of her own medicine here. Since she's proven that she can take care of herself, and since she's a bit older now, I'd love for Angel to release Spike from his "official" duty of protecting her, leaving him free to choose her on his own. I'd love for him to decide that HE needs some time away, to figure out what he wants, and for him to tell Buffy he's leaving. But before he goes, he'd pour his heart out about how he's always wanted her, but wanted to wait until she was older and more experienced in life, so she'd know what she was getting into and what she was giving up if and when she did choose him freely. How he wanted to give her everything and wanted their first time to be special for her, not "life-altering" for all the wrong reasons. How she's absolutely everything to him, when he felt there would never be anyone else after Lucy, couldn't even imagine it. How he fought his feelings so long and so hard out of respect for Angel and out of love for her (and the life she would never get to lead if she were with him - children, sunshine, etc.) How it kills him every day being so near her and yet so far away, and how he has to leave so she can truly "move on", since it's the only thing he can give her now (that she'll allow). And then after he leaves, at the end of his long and tortured speech, Buffy finally understands the reasons for his actions and that everything he's ever done has been out of his love for her (and not of the "protector" or "father" type of love, either). And then Buffy goes to Spike of her own will, and they are finally able to forgive each other and be together. Ah...it's nice to dream, isn't it? I'm telling you - I'm loving this story immensely. It's hard not to envision what's to come. Sorry if I ruined or scared any upcoming plot bunnies away. I can only hope this story has a happy ending. Keep up the fabulous writing! All the best, Melissa

WOW - powerful!

oh no!!! buffy is so stubborn!

Another excellent chapter. They would be so good together if they would stop being so stubborn. Please update soon.

hmm... so much emotion... sorry i wasn't able to review the last two chapters.... i didn't really have time to check for updates the past couple days or so... poor spike... and buffy in a way... i see where she's going... but still poor poor spike... well hope u update soon

I guess she still hasn't got out of that ME stage and still living in denial and contastly thinking Spike now lies to her. He has never lied, especially about Aubrey.....maybe Spike does need to move on and be the one to leave this time. After this what does he really have to stay for? Oh I just want to reach in and shake her silly, LOL! Great chapter.....maybe she should step back and try and think in Spike's poisition. she was 17 years old, never lived much had so much to live for that being with an old souless vamp would have been on the far negative side of life.....being Angel's daughter, could have meant instant death since it would bring attention to her and maybe the secret about her they were hiding.....thus Angel killing or torturing him........or at least Spike thinking in that manner.......I think it's time for Buffy to start thinking out side the box.......but, heck.....then it wouldn't have been such a wild ride, LOL.....does it make me bad that I love what angst you've done here......NOPE, LOL.

I feel so bad for both of them. Its always the right person but the wrong time and that is so very sad.

Man oh man!! So sad! My mom actually started to talk to me while I was reading the part where Spike almost says "I love you" and I swear I almost yelled at her! I was soooo into it! Very very good chapter, very sad!

hm...a rather sad chapter. I feel sorry for Spike because Aubrey died, but at the same time I wish they'd just make up =) I hope Spike manages to convince Buffy that he really does love her. She seems to be in denial about it...although all things considered, I guess eh has a reason to be. Great chapter, as usual!

oh poor everyone. now i know shes been hurt and thinks that spike doesn't want her but please get them together soon. and update quick.

I loved it! Very angsty, just my cup of tea :D Can't wait for more!

At this point, I don't know which of the two I am more angry at. Buffy better get her stuff together before he decides to give up and move on. Sheesh, I think I just answered my own question. Can't wait for the next.